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By jockdoc On 2007.12.24 10:32
After our first week of being home from the hospital, starting a 24/7 caregiving we are finding that 24/7 is difficult to the point of impossible. Today I just had to get out of the house and meet sme friends for coffee. It did us both a world of good. I was only gone for 30 minutes but it was a God-send. Barb was alone without me looking after every need.
I didn't think the day would ever come when I would need to be away from Barb, even for such a short time. We have learned more about caregiving this week than we knew before. Jock Doc and Barb

By Pearly4 On 2007.12.25 08:14
We all need that break, no matter who we're caring for. For me though, I sometimes find myself not coming back refreshed but resigned. It would be so much easier if we were caring for the same people we used to know, but the changes in personalities, etc., make it so difficult.

Maybe it's time to admit you need to bring in some regular care assistance. Seems like even the "short term setbacks" get longer and harder.

And, maybe Barb needs a break too! I've tried putting myself in my mother's place and I think I'd prefer someone I didn't have ties to (an "employee") once in a while so I didn't have to keep demanding or apologizing or feeling like I'm asking too much too often.

By punky On 2007.12.28 09:32
And as much as we all talk about needing to get away and take care of ourselves, isn't it hard to do? Don't you worry about it making Barb even sadder? Don't you feel a little queasy (translated guilty) even though you know it's better for both you and Barb? Don't you spend the half hour wondering if she's lonely? What if she needs something? Does your going make her sad even though she tells you to go? Is it really good for you or do you feel so stressed by worrying and wondering and caring for Barb's feelings and emotions that in might not be good for you?

My kids are always telling me to get away for short periods and when I do I spend the whole time fretting and feeling bad about leaving him alone. I worry that it must hurt his feelings and make him think he's a burden? What do you tell Barb when you leave her?

God this disease is awful!!!!

By jockdoc On 2007.12.28 11:13
Hi Punky, You hit the nail right on the head! Your perception is correct, I do feel guilty.
What helps is that Barb encourges me to go out for coffee but even then it's not easy. I always take my cell phone and leave her phone within easy reach.
Yes and my kids say it's a must to get away for short periods. But the pressure still remains, though I feel I'm getting better. What a horrible disease! Jock Doc and Barb


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