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Topic New worries - how to deal with FIL's anger Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By rajenriver On 2008.01.11 11:33
The medication that my FIL was taking for pain was Lyrica. It was supposed to help affect the chemicals in the brain that sends the pain signals. I just talked to his favorite aid at the assisted living and it sounds like he is doing better. She said that he is joking with her and has been to breakfast multiple days in a row so he must be feeling stronger. She also said that he has cut back on his requests for pain meds. Another good sign.

Our next concern is that his request to donate his body to the U of Iowa was rejected. This is something that is very important to him. I emailed the university to find out the status of the request and he was turned down because he was 30 lbs overweight. He is 5'8" and weighs 210. We are planning on prepaying for any funeral expenses and the costs would be different with donating the body. My FIL will be getting the letter and I hope he doesn't get too upset.

In addition to his disappointment, we are worried that this is going to fall into his whole medical conspiracy theory. He is convinced that the medical community is all against him. He thinks that they know how to fix him and once they do the PD would go away, but they won't because "they all know about him and he can't pay". We are afraid that he will interprete the rejection to be that they don't want his body because they know the "truth" and don't want to get into trouble because it will be out in the open once they start looking at his body. Whenever he starts talking about his "theory" he gets really upset and starts yelling at my husband because he won't dig in and find out what the "truth" is for him. Then his pain skyrockets and the situation goes beyond reasoning. It tears my husband up inside when this happens. He has done all he can.

Does anyone else have these trigger issues and how do you deal with them? Right now our only option is to tell him we love him and walk away. He fights with questions and we cannot answer those questions without him escalating his anger.

By Pearly4 On 2008.01.21 16:46
Been S.O.O.O.O.O. wanting to reply and tell you to re-read that last paragraph over and over and over an over................

In truth, it's all you can do.

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