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By Ilovemydog On 2009.01.01 18:06
It all started early on the 21st when my oil heater decided to back up, causing soot to travel through my home. Not good, but my house is still in tact and my family is safe.
Next was my Dad with PD falling in his room late on the 22nd, calling 911 and staying at the hospital with my dad til 4am. He broke his nose from the fall. Oh, and he still insists he doesn't need help.
On the 24rth he is totally out of it, I'm totally out of it from being up all night. I decide to stay home and not go out. Was a nice quiet christmas eve.
Christmas morning is horrific. I break down, only because I have a sister here and she is helping and I fear what will happen when I have to do this by myself.

One of my brothers comes over on xmas morning around 11am. Dad plays him.
Brother confronts me. I lay the law down to him. I am his caregiver. I make these decisions.
He leaves, he has plans. Bye Bye asshole.
Other brother and sister don't even come to see him on Christmas. How sad.
Unfortnately he takes them not coming to see him out on me. I will deal with that.

The night after christmas. We help him upstairs. We wash him down. We change him. We have a monitor, we hear him moving around. Boom,,,,,falls again.
Big gash on his ribs.

I took him to his neuro on wed. He notices the difference. I tell him I need HELP. He called a nursing care. Hoping his insurance will help cover some of the cost, if not he will pay for it.

He did not like what he neuro had to say,,,once again took that out on me.
I have a brother taking him unwillingly this weekend. Can I tell you people how excited I am?

Oh and between all this craziness, I had a sewer pipe in my basement leak,,,,,oh joy!!

Happy New Year

By lostdaughter On 2009.01.02 10:06
I'm right there with you in the fear of having to do everything by myself. That fear has me on the verge of being unable to function right now. My sister has stepped in & is trying to do it all to avoid having our mom go to a nursing home. I know that can't last & she's made it clear she will simply walk out if the stress gets to be too much.

I'm beyond trying to understand but I struggle with accepting that PD patients insist they don't need help. I can tell my mom not to get up unless someone is in the room with her then turn my back & she will get up in spite of the fact that she doesn't need to.

I hope you're able to get some much needed rest while your dad is away & that you're able to get some help.

By annwood On 2009.01.02 11:04
Yes it will always be a struggle. All I can recommend is get some rest while the sister is trying to be super woman. I found that relatives caregiving is shortlived. You will eventually hear the words "I don't know how you do it!".

I had the same problem with my husband following directions. I would ask him to sit still until I could get his wheelchair or walker. As soon as I turned my back he was up and in the floor. He never made the connection that if he got up he would fall. I even made signs saying "get up = fall = hurt" - don't bother because it doesn't help. We got to the point that he was never left alone in a room. It goes back to what the neurologist said he was unable to work through a consequence of any action and operated purely on instinct. It is so hard to accept because you are trying and it seems as if they are being spiteful. Keep remembering that it is the disease not you loved one.

By Ilovemydog On 2009.01.04 10:23
Annwood, I can't tell you how many times I have heard "Oh, I don't know how you do it". Another statement that I have heard countless times is....."You volunteered for this". Yes , I was the only one to step up when my mother died. They all sat back in silence. Yes, I am the only one cleaning up his messes. Yes, I did volunteer for this and if I had to do it all over again, I will still step up and do my part. I just thought with 4 other siblings living in the area, I would of recieved a bit of support. I was wrong.
All I can say is thank god for this forum !!

By annwood On 2009.01.04 19:45
I do think that this is fairly common in families. I don't know how you do it is the motto but thn they leave. The adult children "couldn't stand to be around because Dad's condition depressed them". Like I was having fun? Like you I stepped up to the plate and I would do it again but it is so hard and you become so exhausted. I often wonder if they ever figured out that they should have been around more.

I really enjoy having you on the forum. People come and people go so I hope you stay with us.


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