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Topic Family in Denial Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By truckette22 On 2009.06.29 08:45
Well my stepson came and went this weekend and told me to get his father a new doctor. That is his answer for all of his dad's problems. He also went to the nursing home and told his Dad to get up and walk more and he could come home. Well his father tried to get up yesterday morning and fell. Thank goodness did not get hurt. I was so mad before he left. He left for the airport and told me he would try to get back before the New Year, but he did not know. I give up on him excepting his father's disease. His sister is coming in two weeks hope that visit is better, but she is dumber than a bag of rocks so we will see. Well got to go and see my husband and tell him again that he can't come home today.

By WitsEnd On 2009.06.29 12:16
I think I would have been tempted to him to feel free to come back, choose a doctor of his choice, schedule the appointment, get copies of all his records together, pick your husband up and take him to the doctor of his choice. You'll be happy to go along for the ride with them--just tell you when you need to be dressed.

By lostdaughter On 2009.06.29 13:33
I like WitsEnd's response & I'm not so sure that's not exactly what you should do. It's so easy for some people to sit back & tell others what they should do. I'm not convinced it's a matter of denial. I think they don't want to admit the situation is as bad as it is because, God forbid, they might be asked to help do something.

You hang in there, hon. You're doing the best you can & I'm sure it's been hard to realize you can't take care of your husband at home.

We'll be here for you when the dumb as a rock daughter comes in a few weeks.

Hugs to you!!

By Tara On 2009.06.29 16:41
"Dumber than a bag of rocks" -- hahahahaha!!! Good one!

I totally agree with both WitsEnd and lostdaughter -- talk is cheap and easy; action is not. And it IS a matter of not wanting to do the dirty work themselves.

As for me, my dad is in rehab after his stroke, and the place is just a 10-minute drive from where my sister lives. Every time I visit (about a 20-minute drive from where I live, and I visit at least every other day and sometimes twice a day), I check the sign-in sheet to see if she's been there recently. She hasn't showed up since June 19th! Sheesh! You will NEVER convince me that that is denial. That is just plain damn uncaring. But, of course, she is still full of criticism when it comes to what I'VE been doing.

If I were you, I would just ignore what anybody in the family says about how your husband should be treated. They are not doctors, and they don't live with him. Enough said.

By lynn On 2009.07.02 20:18
I agree with Tara. Nod your head and let them return back to their homes. Do as you think best. You're the one with the responsibility. You've got us and we get this. they never will until the are the primary caregiver.


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