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Topic Jock Doc promises. Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By cornhusker On 2010.04.21 17:18
When Barb was first DXed she didn't know what was ahead for her. After a trip to the library she read up on PD and was devistated. She was mostly worried about being sent to a Nursing Home. Being a Corpsman during Korea I told her she would never see a Nursing Home, I could and care for her through anything. But I was 50 at that time. Then in my 70's I had to break my first promise. I had collapsed two times and was admitted to the hospital.
Barb hated the Nursing Home more than I can tell. Those feelings never left her. In 2008 on a Sunday night she passed into the arms of Jesus, to never hurt again. 30 years had come and gone since the Dx of PD. For over 2 years I have hurt every day. But each day I feel my love Barb. JockDoc

By Pearly4 On 2010.04.21 19:47
Welcome back "cornhusker'!! Good to hear from you and I've thought of you often. My mom died last June -- she too read too much and understood too much and feared the "N" word (nursing home) so much so that she had nightmares about it; coupled with her dementia it became a real problem in the end. I had never made a promise to keep her out of the nursing home but had worked desperately to keep her home. As fate would have it, she died peacefully in her sleep before it became a reality but if she had lived much longer, we would have had to go through it as you did.

I experienced something after her death that gave me great peace and leads me to not only believe that she now knows and understands every sacrifice and every ordeal we went through to keep her home as well as forgiving us for every transgression or error we made. I'm sure Barb knows and understands as well.

We're only human, God forgive us -- we can only do so much and the rest we have to leave to him. Forgive yourself Doc.

We've missed you!

By cornhusker On 2010.04.21 20:04
Thanks Pearly4 Just tonight I visited Barb's grave, and remembered her crying that first night in the Nursing Home. I know she's in the best home of all homes. Barb and our daughter are together now. Jock Doc

By lostdaughter On 2010.04.21 23:09
I was also on the verge of having no choice about placing my mother in a NH when she passed away a few weeks ago. I had never promised her that wouldn't happen but my siblings were strongly opposed to it simply because Mother didn't want to go. It wasn't safe for her to be at home anymore & my sister & I were killing ourselves trying to take care of her.

I'm sure Barb didn't blame you, Jock Doc. The NH may not have been where she wanted to be but PD was to blame, just as PD is to blame for her passing. I hope you realize that.


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