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Topic Loosing Dad slowly to Pd Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jshanahan On 2010.05.02 04:15
Hello all :
i just found this very useful and caring site ~~ my dad is 79 he has had this terrible disease for awhile now and mom and i have always been able to take care of him , 2 weeks ago he had to go into the hospital for pneumonia anemic infection and he just wasn't right , during this stay he had heart flutters & blood pressure problems ( new problems ) so they decided to put a pacemaker in , its been all down hill since , he wasn't able to eat he lost a bunch of weight and was choking all the time , he wound up back in the hospital again on Wednesday with some kind of infection and they had to put a feeding tub into his stomach because he cant swallow anymore , the case worker told us he would probably be able to come home on Monday so at least we would have time to prepare ( so we thought ) but the DR decided he could do no more and discharged him to us , the nurse gave us a 2 min lesson on how to feed him and myself and my mother freaked , we were told either we take him home or he goes to a nursing home where he is now , besides the PD he has nuropothy dementia , diabetics sever urine and bowel movements and is taking 21 medications a day we are trying to get home health and also teach us how to and when to feed him and get him back home with us during which seem to be the last days of his life , the medical DR don't seem to have alot of compassion for this when they decide they can do no more it is so frustrating ~~ he looked up at me and told me he was sorry in a whisper and i broke into tears as i am am doing as i write this ~~ i just hugged him and held him and told him he didnt do anything wrong and had nothing to be sorry for , i am 55 years old still have to work for a living and have been taking care of both of my parents for about 10 years now , on top of this my mom is blind in one eye and has about 40 % site in the other sorry for rambling on but i am truly lost hurt and confused on this one ~~

By karolinakitty On 2010.05.02 07:40
Jshanahan ... So sorry you have to go through this troubling time. I'm sure as you have glanced through the posts, that many have been in your shoes. I, am not there yet but from others experiences i have to ask: Did they not mention hospice, or home health care to help you out? If not i would immediately start looking into that. While you and your mother may be the greatest caretakers in the world, you need help. Since the doc already said there is nothing he can do, i would get in touch with hospice and let them come in. They can do so many things for you including the feeding tube issues.

By Emma On 2010.05.02 07:47
Welcome to the forum, we're glad you found us. It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation right now, my heart goes out to you. I would echo the advice from karolinakitty, get in touch with Hospice ASAP. They will be able to help you.

By Grace On 2010.05.02 15:35
Hi, I have been through hard moments with my dad, years ago, I understand you totally, I know how it feels when you Know you cant do much....But I think the love you are showing to your father is the best thing for him....I feel close to you, hold on!!!

By lurkingforacure On 2010.05.02 17:58
I am so sorry you have so very much on your plate. PD is bad enough on its own, but you are clearly having to help your mom as well, that's doubly tough. All I can offer is that you are not alone and many of us here are in similar situations. Caregivers are angels on earth. Perhaps it might help you to remember how loved your dad must feel, knowing you are at his side all the way, come what may. He must be so proud of you as well, rising to the challenge, and we all know what a challenge caregiving is, and not bailing as so many do. I hope that helps.

By anniem On 2010.05.02 18:29
I'm so sorry about everything you and your family are going through right now. Long-term caregiving, no matter how much we love, is difficult and overwhelming. I have taken care of my grandfather, my mother, and now my husband and it just is so hard to deal with everything sometimes. There are a gazillion different events and emotions all going on at the same time. The suggestion to call Hospice is such a good one. Do it, first thing. Just having a little control over the situation will help. In the meantime, I'm sending caring thoughts your way.


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