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Topic Time Off is a Joke!! Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By carbon27555 On 2010.05.19 23:28
Here was my "Time Off" today. I left the house at 8:00 a.m., drove two hours to the city, shopped for six hours - getting aids (shower hand grip bar, chair, hand held shower head, etc.) Pricing chairs that lift you up, wheelchair ramps for inside and out, hand railings etc. etc. etc. More Pills, creams, & ointments etc. I am sure you all know the drill. Then I drove two hours home and unloaded all this paraphernalia. At which point my husband and my stepson (who was staying with my husband for the day) said " Did you have a wonderful day off in the city?" I think time off is a perspective thing!!
I wanted to scream, but instead I am just venting to all of you, and then taking my weary body to bed. Tomorrow will be another long day.

Thanks for listening. It is o.k. if I just vent here once in awhile isn't it? Or is that bad?

By lurkingforacure On 2010.05.20 08:04
NO! Please post and rant, this is the only place I can do this, and you will go nuts if you keep all of this inside. I would have lost it long ago probably if it weren't for this forum.

There is "time off" and then there is "time off for you". Your getting time to go get caregiving items is NOT time off for you. I don't know how, but you have to get time for you. If family does not get the difference, you will need to find a sitter and pay him or her for it.

In the meantime, rant away, we all have been there and know what you are going through. Is it possible for you to pay someone to go get all the things you had to get yesterday? I ask because my in-laws now have someone who does their errands for them, like grocery shopping, he goes and gets the items on their list, brings them home, and puts them away! He also takes my mother in law to her appointments and helps with errands like that. He is from a home health care agency and has been really very helpful. This would be so worth it for you if you can afford it, and if not, find out if there are any aging agencies or organizations that could help pay for it, there has been lots of talk about this on the forum here.

I hope you get some help soon, sounds like it can't some fast enough.

By Emma On 2010.05.20 09:12
It is not bad to vent! Having this forum as an outlet is what saves a lot of us. This is the only place where most of us can let off steam. lurking is right, you need to figure out a way to get time for yourself. I'm going through that process now and it's hard, logistically and financially but it has to be done if we are to continue our caregiving. I empathize with you though, on the rare occasions when I do get someone to sit with my husband I often spend that time going to visit my uncle and aunt (who has alzheimers). Big break for me! In addition to looking into someone to sit or run errands check to see if there is an adult day care program where you live. I took my husband to visit the one we have here and he doesn't want to go, which I understand. However, I am leaning more and more toward forcing the issue. It would give me more flexibility than arranging to have someone come to the house. I could use that time to be home, get paperwork,etc. done, or to go do something I want, or a combination of both. Plus, they have a nurse there so I feel like he would be safe.
Please, take care of yourself!

By LibbyBuck On 2010.05.24 22:09
Hello Carbon,

Because of my own time off madness I just noticed your post, "Time off is a joke" I hear you and I understand. We posted our frustrations on the same day!!! I posted a post about how I was looking forward to my time with friends and got stood up - or rather, had to wait two hours for my time, which was so frustrating I think I cried the entire time, but of course only had this forum to vent in. Yes, I agree with the person who said you HAVE TO take time for your self. I know it sounds impossible, but it's not. Find a friend, neighbor, volunteer to come and give you some down time. Pick a time you feel comfortable with (earlier in the day for instance) that you can plan something that you really love to do, even if it's just to go to the park and feed the ducks - ANYTHING!! It's really important that you find time to do that.

I know - shoot me in the face, shut up, it's totally stupid of me to say that, I get it - I felt the same way but you feel that way because you're tired and stressed. Make this your first priority. Find at least an hour a day for yourself. You'll feel better and you'll be a better caretaker for it and your PD will notice it too. (I hope.)

I'll be sending you good vibes,


By parkinit On 2010.05.24 23:53
Carbon -

I'm working on that "time for myself" thing myself. Through this forum, I found that I could get respite vouchers and have the wheels in motion to do so. They are not income-based and will basically give me something equivalent to every Friday afternoon off every week (but the timeframe on when I use these vouchers will be at my own discretion). That will be such a blessing and this forum was such a blessing. Even though I had signed up to have someone "manage" our different phases in this illness by recommending different organizations, physical therapy needs, physical assistance needs at home, etc., nothing was ever mentioned about respite vouchers. I urge you to search the internet by your state and the words "respite voucher" to see what you can find on the topic.

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