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Topic worried Dad will intentionally hurt himself Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By worriedaboutdad On 2010.05.30 21:43
Daddy is in bad shape. He falls more and more. He freezes more and more and for longer. He is starting to get mixed up. One day he took a nap and got up at 6:00 p.m. He fixed his breakfast, and ate. Then when it started to get dark, he called my sister in a panic and said, "what is going on?" She explained that it was night time. Tonight I went to cut his hair etc. and he was so pitiful. He said he doesn't know what to do but he can't go on like this. What worries me is that depression runs in his family and then of course it is worse with PD. His brother took his own life and I worry that he will do the same. Has anyone else ever had this fear? One more thing I wanted to mention. His legs and feet are terribly swollen. Any suggestions?

By Emma On 2010.05.31 07:12
Dear worried, My heart goes out to you. We are in a similar situation with the mobility and confusion. I don't know about the swollen feet, we haven't had that problem. We do have the depression however, and yes, my husband has talked about suicide. I know that on this board there is a lot of discussion about not losing hope but the reality is that when you get to the end stages of this disease there is really nothing to be hopeful about, there is no good outcome, no good future. It is only going to get worse in every way and there is no quality of life at the end. My husband does not want to live to the final stage and has asked me to take him to The Netherlands or Oregon, both of which have legal assisted suicide. He has also talked to our family doctor about it who was very nonjudgemental, told him that it wasn't legal in our state but explained to him what was involved. I have very mixed feelings about this issue because I understand his feelings about it, and in fact I would probably feel the same way in his situation. Yet I cannot encourage or assist him in this. It's a very difficult issue to deal with. I think that it would be very normal for your dad to have depression and suicidal thoughts even without the family history. I guess this isn't very helpful but I want you to know that you are not alone.

By lurkingforacure On 2010.05.31 16:42
You got a great response from Emma and I feel the same way. If I had PD, I would not want to live in the end stages, either, but yet I don't think I could help anyone kill themself. And to be honest, I think it is completely hypocritical of me to feel this way. Years ago, I had to put down our beloved dog to bone cancer and although I cried oceans before and after, I knew it was the right thing to do because our vet had told us in no uncertain terms that our dog was suffering terribly with no hope of recovery. My vet was actually upset with me that I waited as long as I did, because he believed I prolonged the suffering by my selfishness, holding on to him for that little bit more.

So how could I do the "right thing" by our dog, yet not be able to help my husband in the same way, who I love even more and who deserves even better? I have no answer to this, I just know I could never help him remove himself from our family.

If I were in your position I think I would get on some suicide/depression forums to see if anyone has any suggestions that might help. Knowing what could happen, even if it never does, might help prepare you for what might. Good luck.

By karolinakitty On 2010.06.01 14:57
About the legs and feet swelling ... we have that problem .... pcp said too much salt ..however ... in the heat down south here .. dehydration is a big issue in the average person let alone someone with PD .... so cutting out salt is not the answer ..... Mine even got so bad they were almost black from broken vessels.... had an EKG and several other tests .. no heart problem ... COPD though which will cause sweeling also ... but we determined it was just from ..... whatever .... doc gave him Lasix (water Pill) .. it helped a little .. but you can't be on it everyday three times a day .. so ...... he drinks a ton of gatorade ...that's important ... if you just drink water you are not putting electrolytes back into the body..... plus i just bought him a recliner that goes all the way back where his feet are above his heart. It took me some shopping to find one that wasn't low to the ground, yet went all the way back.... this also swivels and rocks .....i make him come in for about 1/2 hour and put his feet up every few hours... this seems to work great.
Standing on his legs too much may be an issue, but, regardless, laying back with feet elevated helps to reduce the swelling. plus keeping hydrated will help "flush" the system..... his legs will go down within that half hour to normal size ....
I haven't been able to find any relation to the meds, but check out your dad's meds ... they may cause swelling and you may need to let the doctor know.

By packerman On 2010.06.02 10:34
i found some Dr. Scholls diabetic socks at WalMart that are supportive and "manly" for my hubby to wear. along with the advice above, it helps his circulation.

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