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By Shellyeb On 2010.07.05 00:34
I am knew here. My mom was dx with parkinsons in 1991 she was 47. She had DBS surgery in 2005. She has done well since with the exception of falling until recent my stepdad had been her primary caregiver with me filling in specially when he got sickhowever he passed away the first of May. She lives alone but has friends that help along with her grandkids (they are older teens) and of course me. I am an only child although I do have 2 stepbrothers 1 is of help the other well I will leave that alone. In the last couple of months since his death there have been several people some that r close friends tell me she shouldn't live alone. I know they mean well but She is quite adamant that she is fine and can call me if she needs me. We live about 10 miles from each other. My stepdad did all the driving and "man" things as he called then cause he wanted to but she has even drove several time in the last months and is quick to say I can't today can u take me if she feels she can't.I know at some point it won't be safe for her to live alone but i guess I'm not ready to take away what independence she has and treat her like she is helpless as some think she is. But sometimes I wonder if I'm right or not

By Emma On 2010.07.05 04:50
Hi Shellyeb and welcome to the forum. This is a great place to get help, advice and support.

I'm sorry to hear about your stepdad's passing, it sounds like he was a good guy. It's fortunate that you only live 10 miles from your mom and also fortunate that there are friends and grandkids to help out.

Have the friends who tell you that she shouldn't live alone told you why they think that? Are they seeing something that you don't or are they just being overly cautious and protective of your mom? I guess I would question them about their specific concerns.

The one thing that jumped out at me from your post is that your mom falls. If she doesn't have a medical alert system you might want to check into getting one for her. We pay $30.00 a month for the one my husband has. It would give you some peace of mind knowing that she could get help in an emergency.

The other thing is her driving. It's a touchy subject but maybe taking a ride with her at the wheel would be a good idea so that you could assess how she's doing. If you are concerned about it you could have her take a driving test.

I think that you are right in wanting her to be as independent as possible for as long as possible. Get specific input from others who are part of her life about their concerns and try to assess the situation as objectively as possible. There may be little things, little changes that can be put in place to make sure that she is safe. Good luck to you!

By Lotsapies On 2010.07.05 12:56
Welcome Shellyeb -I am pretty new also. Read the previous posts-there is so much helpful information that stands the test of time from the wonderful people on this forum. I just wanted to add that I have looked into the call buttons for my husband and warn you to look into them carefully before signing any contracts. Read the consumer reviews-here is one link.

Life alert requires a 36 month commitment. The comments weren't too favorable. Also some of them require a second phone line. Walgreens also offers a simple program-it is all in what you and your loved one require.
Again welcome-the people here have been a blessing for me-I may not post often but I read several times a day.

By sannph On 2010.07.05 14:15
Welcome! I'm fairly new to this forum too, but it is a wonderful place for info and venting. If you decide to check about medical alert systems, check your local hospitals too. We had my husbands through our community hospital; when we started the program it was $27/month and then increased to $35. It was well worth it just for me to have peace of mind while at work.

By Emma On 2010.07.05 14:42
Loysapies is right, you have to do your homework on the medical alert systems. I should have mentioned that. Our local hospital doesn't offer one so I did a lot of research and settled on Alert One, which gets good reviews. There is no contract, when you no longer need it you just send the equipment back and you're done. Some companies also charge for installation so watch for that. Our system was simple to set up, you can do it yourself. We've had it about a year and a half and are very happy with it, it does give you peace of mind.

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