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Topic Finally some relief! Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By Emma On 2010.07.13 05:10
Well my dear friends, after months of complaining about never getting a break I have finally hired someone to sit with my husband so that I can get out. My husband has always resisted the idea insisting that he didn't need or want a "babysitter". I let that guilt me out of it and I really didn't want to spend the money either. Finally one day after listening to me whine about it for the hundredth time my daughter said to me "So what exactly is the price you put on your sanity? How much do you think it's going to cost if you break down and end up in the hospital, and will he have a choice about someone coming in to care for him then?". She was right of course.

I got my husband's doctor to talk to him about it (which he did a fine job of ... bless him) and he agreed to give it a try if we could find someone he already knew. As it turned out both my sister and my daughter's best friend were looking for a way to earn a little extra money so each of them is now doing a half day a week for us. They both know him but since they have never had to care for him I put together a packet of information for them. In it I have all of his medical and emergency information, including doctor's numbers, other phone numbers, medications, copies of his insurance cards, even a copy of his DNR ... anything they would need in an emergency. There is also information about foods he likes, suggestions for activities, what kind of TV programs he enjoys, how and when to physically assist him, how to deal with cognitve issues, any tips I could think of to help them out. I use one of those days to get groceries and do errands and the other just for me. My husband actually enjoys having them come over too, I'm sure that he needed the break from me as much as I needed one from him. They fix him snacks, help him with whatever he needs and just keep him company. My daughter's friend even brought her laptop over to show him the pictures she had taken of our granddaughter.

The point of this is please, please get some help for yourself if you aren't already doing it. Find a way even if you have to cut something else out of your budget. I cannot tell you the sense of relief that I feel being able to get out and know that my husband is safe. It is the best thing I have done, for both of us. I am refreshed and de-stressed which makes me a better caregiver and he has fresh faces to keep him company. It's all good!

By Michele On 2010.07.13 09:25
Emma- what a wonderful gift you have given yourself. It's so good to hear. You know that you deserve this. I also think that you will inspire other caregivers to follow in your footsteps. I am fortunate to be able to hire a home health aide three afternoons a week. It is such a relief. I get a massage once a month and a pedicure often. Pamper yourself, Emma. Your husband will thank you for it.

By maidab On 2010.07.13 20:01
Just found this fantastic site. My husband was diagnosed 4 yrs ago with PD. We had sold our large home and downsizing getting ready to hit the road in our motorhome with our friends. He was 62 and we thought he had a stroke nothing serious and we were floored to find he had PD since then it has been down hill. The meds sent him into a coma like state depression and tremors. We had the DBS surgery that stopped the tremors but he still gets confused driving is limited. We did have the sexual fights at first but now that he is not on the meds that is no longer the problem. But now he has no desire to do anything I have to force him to even go outside and talk to our neighbors. They are all understanding and patient but sometimes I feel overwhelmed and very tired.

By LOHENGR1N On 2010.07.14 00:22
maidab, hi and welcome to the forum. A great place full of caring loving people who will do their best to help anyway we can. Glad you found Us. Again welcome.

By Emma On 2010.07.14 05:20
Hi maidab and welcome to the forum! We are here to listen, to encourage, to offer advice and help when we can, but mostly we are just here and I hope that knowing that will be a blessing to you, as it has been to me. This is a great place to vent, question, celebrate, cry, whatever you need to do, and know that others will understand. We are happy to have you as part of our family.

By karolinakitty On 2010.07.14 16:41
HOORAY for Emma!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy for you.... Glad you can get out a bit now...... ENjoy that little taste of freedom girl .... it's well deserved!!!!!

Hi Maidab.... and welcome. I think you found a great place ... no question too big or too small and rantings are welcome... :)

By dkleinert On 2010.07.16 21:28
Dearest Emma,
Congratulations my friend! So wonderful you have a 1/2 day just for YOU! I am so proud of you for doing this. Now we know you will be around for a very long time! Donna in NC

By Emma On 2010.07.16 21:45
Donna,
What a happy surprise to hear from you! You haven't been on the forum lately and I've missed you.

The time off is great, I'm really enjoying it :)


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