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By LOHENGR1N On 2010.11.15 00:14
Well I've certainty opened a can of worms haven't I? In the first paragraph of the post that started my being kicked around the school yard, bullied, told to get out or shut up I don't belong here. I stated I wasn't criticizing or chastising or whatever other words you want to put in my mouth. I also said it was my vent. I was confused I guess, I'm supposed to extend courtesy and respect to the forum vents. This is understandable to me. I realize the hard job you caregivers do day in and day out. I do understand your need to vent and feel safety in doing so. And you can believe it or not but do not try to belittle or attack anyone's venting and I understand the frustration leading to vents. What I did NOT understand was this same courtesy and respect IS NOT extended to me nor according to reply's should it be because I don't belong here? I'm sorry, I've helped many over the years here and still when information is sought or ideas on a problem I am many times asked for input. I won't turn my back I'll try to keep helping with problems here. As I've said time and again, We're all in this together. However I guess I can't vent safely here. That's Your privilege. Take care, best of luck and hang in there.

By gap2010 On 2010.11.15 05:54
I appreciate your insight as there are times I get caught up in my own understanding of what my husband is going through. It is good to hear it from his side that way we are reminded that it is not just us going through this, but it is us and our loved one with parkinson's going throught this together. I did not feel attacked or offended by your the time i got through reading it, i felt much better about understanding what my husband is going through. Keep up your posts and if someone is offended then they are offended. We all are going through this ugly disease together, many stages and many different situations, but the disease is the same. Supporting each other and also helping each other maintain a healthy perspective is what is needed and helps us to see that sometimes our perspective gets clouded because we get so overwhelmed and so tired. So thanks again for your post. God Bless, GAP

By anidaholady On 2010.11.15 08:33
Al - I appreciate your posts, and have seen cans of worms opened from time to time on this forum. The thing that is different here, compared to other boards on the internet is that eventually the tide washes us back to the fact that the overall tone and mood here is of support. Rants are rants against the disease and not against people. I've been following this board for several years, but don't post much, but I appreciate everything I learn here, and I grieve along with of my unkown friends for their losses.

This board has WONDERFUL, insightful, intelligent, caring people here and I appreciate everyone.


By caregivermary On 2010.11.15 08:38

I will say it again-I sincerely appreciate and respect all of the help you give me/us on this forum.

By parkinit On 2010.11.15 09:16
Al -

I am impressed by the level of intelligent, helpful answers and suggestions I receive here - including yours. At first, I was surprised by your posts, and then I grew to appreciate them.

I personally, appreciate your input. We also need the freedom for our occasional, okay, frequent rants without judgment, debate or countering. I do appreciate your perspectives and I feel the tone on this board is normally very respectful and supportive. I find that very attractive and comforting. Let's continue to move on in that mode.

By mylove On 2010.11.15 12:04
I agree! :)

Sometimes one of us says "potayto" and the other says "potahto", but I think we're all in the same boat together. We can only speak from our own perspectives, and all of them are valid for us. I too appreciate viewing other perspectives than my own; I feel that it keeps me well rounded and helps me understand things that maybe I wouldn't on my own.

Please don't leave, Al. You, too, are a caregiver. Living alone, you care for yourself, so you have a very unique position and can show us both sides of the fence at the same time. You also have great ideas on what does and doesn't work, in a practical sense, and can help us to figure out the 'whys'.

I have kept up on the posts recently, and think that if we can avoid both personal attacks and reading more into people's personal opinions than was intended that we can keep this board the useful and supportive place it was meant to be. Take the best and leave the rest, and let's agree not to fight!

By karolinakitty On 2010.11.15 17:26

By Pick On 2010.11.15 21:02
"Giving a friend an uplifting thought in their darkest time can help bring them around, but you say all is lost to that friend, that friend will be lost. "

This is your opinion and you are welcome to it, but I think anyone can see by the many posts on this forum that not everyone would welcome this. From my training, I can say that most experts would not recognize your recommended method as "therapeutic." I'm trained to use "active listening" techniques which avoid such judgments. So far I've found it affective.

By karolinakitty On 2010.11.15 21:08

By Pick On 2010.11.15 21:15
honestly, the only one who seems bitter since I "added my 2 cents" is you.

Thought you said this board was for everybody???

By TiredTexan On 2010.11.15 22:24
I didn't detect an attack on any PD patient when this subject was brought up. It was more a need for communication between caretakers. Sometimes we have unique needs that really aren't understood. Loh, don't you think you over reacted somewhat?

By Lotsapies On 2010.11.15 22:55
Wow-Pick I wish I could think of some encouraging words for you-some days a simple walk can help me to come back with a more positive energy. Things sound hard for you right now.

I for one love Al and Shakydogs posts-many times (for me) the things they have to contribute are positive and bring things back in focus for me and I appreciate all that they say. No one asked me but posts and posters should be welcome regardless of the content. I know I was welcome with open arms and I need this forum. Everyone has helped me numerous times.

The tone of the forum shouldn't be all sunshine and lollipops but we are ALL in this together. We need to focus on helping each other. IMO Of course If we post remarks then we are fair game for everyone's comments ,thats why were here right? Everyone take care

By Pick On 2010.11.16 10:17
Thanks for the kind thoughts, Lotsapies. It's not easy to assess personalities over the internet, but I actually do have a very positive energy in spite of our difficult circumstances. A lot of that I attribute to having the opportunity to vent and grieve (and yes, go on long walks!) when necessary. As someone posted in another thread, there seems to be a lot of "venom being spewed" by some posters. I would suggest that those are more likely to be the people who lack positive energy (despite their claims to the contrary).

Take care.

By mylove On 2010.11.16 10:55
I would hope that anyone could read that we have positive energy, and I would wish for positive energy for everybody. It's very hard when some people seem determined to take bits and pieces of everything you say and turn them into an occasion for offense. Let's not pick fights where there need not be any.

I am all for de-escalation. Please lets all cease the pointed, personal attacks and focus on the common enemy. Let's not let this board go down to trolling.

I think that life in general for most people would be a lot easier if we all tried to take offense less, and understand people more. Not just on this board, everywhere. Life is not full of enemies. Most of us are all just out there trying to make some kind of sense of our own personal dramas, and wondering if we're alone in it all.

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