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By LOHENGR1N On 2010.11.16 16:03
Ok let me try this one more time, please, hear me out. I seem to be missing the boat in conveying my intentions when I've responded to "vents". My intentions are just to give a broad idea of what might be going on with the person with Parkinson's. I have done this in all honesty hoping to provide a "chink" in the behavior, a quick look inside maybe a peek at something missed or overlooked before. That's all I've intended, a point perhaps to build on to make things just a bit better for both suffers of this disease, caregivers and patients. I've never meant to come across as critiquing or portraying PWP as the poor victims needing sympathy. Evidently I've missed this entirely. I apologize for not making that clearer. I hope I have done so now. I meant no harm or foul, I will try to qualify responses to vents with a "do you think" or "could this be" from now on to let you know I'm not critiquing vent's. Also I'll try to hold off responding to vents for a couple of days after posting lest in the heat of the moment I misinterpret the vent or You misinterpret my response.

This disease is like trying to get through a briar patch and you caregivers/partners are relied upon by Us PWP to steady us and help us stay on the path. In your job doing this you get hit with the injuries of juggling job's, duties and lives. You are the ones getting scratched and cut by breaking our pathway. I thank you all for this sincerely! Your's is a job that many "brave" souls cower and run from but you stay and can never be thanked enough for that.

We're all in this together. Again I apologize for not being clearer and misunderstandings on my part.

By Emma On 2010.11.16 17:38
Lohengrin, I appreciate this post ... thank you. I think your idea of perhaps holding off for a day or two on responses to vents is a good one, it gives the person who is venting time to get some support and settle back down (which we do eventually). If I may, and I hope I'm not beating a dead horse here, let me give you an analogy that may help explain why some of us are a bit sensitive.

On another thread there is some discussion about REM Sleep Disorder, which my husband has. I understand that he is not an abusive man, I understand that he cannot help it when he acts out in his sleep and attacks me. However the effect for me is the same as if he did intentionally attack me, I'm still scared silly and I'm still hurt, still bruised. I still cower in the corner crying. When this was happening, amazingly enough, I had a friend at work whose husband had the same disorder. We got in the habit on the "morning after" of seeking each other out for comfort and a hug because we both knew what it was like and could understand the crying and fear. At those moments neither of us would have appreciated having someone with the disorder walk in and say "hey, you're upset but think about your husband, he can't help it". We knew that but just for that moment we wanted someone to understand and comfort us. That's all.

Again, this was a nice post. Thank you.

By Pearly4 On 2010.11.16 18:06
I think your post goes a long way toward healing some of the cracks that have appeared in the board lately and I personally appreciate your efforts to offer a different path and an explanation of your intentions. Thank you.

By Reflection On 2010.11.16 18:21
Al - thank you for this. Lovely thought, beautifully expressed.
Time for all of us to reboot, to rededicate ourselves to making this forum helpful to all. I'll try too.

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