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Topic Hospice involvement Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By rmshea On 2011.01.01 21:01
I talked with all of MIL's docs because she is dehydrated again for the 3rd time in less than 5 months. The cardio recommended hospice and apparently either the primary or cardio signed off on it and the evaluation is tomorrow. None of the bio children will place MIL against her will. I hired a caregiver 3 half days a week and she prepares food for MIL for the following day. But MIL doesn't eat or drink without prompting. My husband said he didn't want me to tell MIL, he'd take care of it and as yet, nothing. My question is, has anyone here had a PDr in hospice and then get discharged at the end of the 6 months? At the very least, we'll be informed from another prospective tomorrow. My sister in law was saying to me that the 3 bio children should be doing all this,not me. Well, 10 yrs into this and only a few months ago the daughter finally saw how bad her mother is! The boys(my husband is one) are over 50 yrs old and they just are clueless; denial, whatever.

By RhondaM On 2011.01.02 14:54
Hospice will re-evaluate the patient every 3 months or so. My mom was on hospice care for 10 months before she passed, and most of that time was pretty good quality of life for her (she had cancer). I have a niece who is a hospice nurse and has had patients for over a year.

As long as the patient is terminal and not going to get better, only worse, then they are lenient about keeping them on hospice. If she was suddenly able to do anything and everything 100% and a doctor wouldn't agree to hospice anymore, then they might discharge her, but that is rare in a situation like yours.

By rmshea On 2011.01.02 18:09
Well, she doesn't we know when we'll need it hospice will be there. MIL is furious because she thinks she is fine and dandy. Says she never asked for this help and doesn't want it. Thinks her family is telling her doctors 'stories' just to be able to put her away. My husband finally spoke up and told her to stop lying and hiding; we all know what's going on and all we want to do is make sure she is safe. Then she put on that face...real hard and glaring. Ah, families; they put the fun in dysfunctional.

By buffsrich On 2011.04.27 12:32
Well I finally found a post I've really been wanting to see. My MIL is currently at this stage and just as you describe the biological children are kind of clueless. Last time I mentioned adult day care i got that hard and glaring look. Kind of like she was shooting me the look of death!

Recently MIL has been in the hospital for her congestive heart failure. Went in for a stent and then discharged to a rehab facility. Looked to be doing really good then all of a sudden fluid build up around the heart and another trip to the ER. Now after a week in ICU and one in a regular room there's talk of discharge tomorrow and I want one of the bio's to ask about hospice. I want to have her around for a long time but my gut says it's not going to happen.

Should I stick to my guns and make them ask the doctors about hospice or bite my toungue?

By susger8 On 2011.04.28 08:47
Hospice is a real blessing in my experience and it would be a shame to keep her out of the program just because of family denial. I wonder if they would be more cooperative if they knew the insurance pays for everything, including prescriptions, hospital bed, supplies, aides -- when the person is in a hospice program?


By RhondaM On 2011.04.28 10:44
I agree about hospice being a wonderful blessing. Of course no one wants to hear that word associated with their mother, I certainly didn't, but once the process starts and the care begins, in my case anyway, you see your mother or your loved one finally getting the kind of care, respect, attention and dignity from the medical community that they deserve. The last 10 months of my mother's life were wonderful thanks to hospice, they came to her, no more waiting in doctor's offices for rushed visits, they were always just a phone call away, she was treated with love and kindness and I was given emotional and spiritual support as a caregiver before, during and after my mother's peaceful death, all thanks to hospice. My mother couldn't say enough nice things about them, the end of her life would have been so much worse if not for them. If only people would not be afraid to accept that the end is coming, it is time, and embrace this concept instead of fight it. I think they are denying themselves and their loved one a great peace.

By rmshea On 2011.04.29 13:25
That was quite awhile ago! The family would go for the hospice care but she was evaluated and Hospice of Buffalo said she was not eligible. At some point she will be, I'm sure. I've come to the point that she won't hydrate no matter where she is and the family is telling me that she is what she is. I was trying to give her a quality of life that she could have but evidently doesn't want. I've always been a 'fixer' and if there are things that can make one feel/do better, then I make a go at them.

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