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Topic Publisher's House Obsession Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By arlenecram On 2011.06.06 15:33
My husband was never one to bother with things like Publisher's House----now he is obsessed with it. He says he is trying to win us some money----problem is he is ordering all kinds of junk---in my name---to do it. I have notified them twice that I was not going to be paying for anymore and to stop the mailings. Last week I tore the papers up and threw them in the garbage---but not before he had seen them. Today I found him going through all the accumulated bags of garbage to find the papers. Now I run a daycare for infants--I don't need to tell you what all was in those bags. It is driving me crazy. I have tried talking to him about it---but it does no good. I don't want to keep after him, he is my husband not a child----but with one of us working I can't afford to pay for all this junk... Any ideas????

By LOHENGR1N On 2011.06.06 16:57
arlene, This has got to be a really tough situation for you. You run a daycare so you have in your daily life little ones who learn by repetition. Your husband is going the other way un-learning. Repeating to halt behavior won't realistically help much. Also he is acting obsessively, or compelled (compulsion) so it's not a case of reasoning with him will work. I don't know what will work here but I think it might be helpful for you to remember he isn't doing it because he wants to drive you nutters. He isn't doing it because he has spare time or really thinks he'll win. He isn't trying to drive you into the poor house. It's a compulsion he can't not do it. He can't at this time control the actions. He may be at some level thinking he can win money to contribute to the home and thereby become a functioning part and needed again or he may not, that isn't what has to be considered to keep your sanity in this situation. He can't stop doing it. All the talking might seem to work for a brief time but then he's at it again. He can't control it. Intercepting the mail, phoning or writing the company (even a email to them) informing them to cease sending or you won't be responsible for the bill might do the trick if not it will help you when they try to collect. If they're warned and continue to ignore then that's in your favor. I understand your problem. I don't have any easy answers just if you try to see it as a compulsion beyond his control it might help you a little I hope. It has to be hard bordering upon impossible to be dealing with. This might help you until his next doctors visit them bring it up and discuss it with the doctor, maybe a little tweak in the meds would help some. Take care, best of luck and hang in there.

By karolinakitty On 2011.06.06 17:42
Arlene... just to add to what Al said... It seems like an obsession/compulsion....
What drugs is he on? any requip or mirapex?
If so ask the doc for something else if possible. These are the two top drugs that cause obsessive behaviors.
If he is trying to win you money than that is real close to a gambling obsession ..
Just to reiterate .. he ca't help it if it is.. he needs help to do it..... maybe getting off any of the obsessive drugs will help OR seeing a psychologist would add to any help....

By arlenecram On 2011.06.06 19:09
He is on requip---has been for awhile. Lately have seen a lot of changes in the whole thinking process. It is hard--I have a daughter but I really can't talk to her about this---she is a real Daddys girl( which is good) however she thinks he walks on water so we can't discuss any of this...

By Harriet On 2011.06.06 20:57
Hi Arlene, I seldom post but your letter is one that really rang a bell with me because my husband was where yours is a couple of years ago and believe me I think I know what you are going through--though not entirely as I wasn't running a nursary. What is happening is because of the Requip. My husband was on Mirapex and then Requip. Fortunately I had been reading the forum and Ann Wood (who used to post a few years back) mentioned how her husband used to do the Publisher's Clearing House thing and also the contests to win money. That made me aware of what was going on and when my husband's neurologist asked at one of his visits if anything strange was going on I told her about the contest thing. She said to my husband, "That's the end of the Requip" and she gradually weaned him off of it. It took several months to see the compulsion finally come to an end but at last I think we are through it.

It started with Publisher's Clearing House and ordering junky things which we really didn't want or need and expanded to scams where people were calling our house all the time telling my husband he had won large sums of money and all he had to do was send them a few hundred for the taxes in order to receive his winnings. I changed our phone number, registered with "Do Not Call" and every other thing I could think of to avoid them and they just kept catching up to him. It is an addiction--I read another post where someone described their experience while taking these drugs as feeling invincable and my husband really did think he'd won these huge sums and it was only me who was standing in his way of making us rich. My husband had never been anything but the best husband in the world and completely reliable in all areas of his life and this was so unlike him. He wouldn't listen to me or our accountant son whom he had always relied on for financial advice. You just could not talk sense to him or make him stop. Law enforcement even came to our house and talked to him about answering scams and it made no difference.

Whenever I could beat him to the mailbox I would intercept the mail before he could get to it. He loved it so much and it was so important to him that he would actually wait for the mailman. All of those contests have an address on the back where you can write to them to have them discontinue their letters. I kept track of those I wrote to and I think I wrote more than 60 letters asking them to quit sending them to our address. It took awhile but now 2 years later we almost never get one.

Not to discourage you but I don't think anything will help short of taking him off Requip and that will take awhile. Even after he was completely off it seemed like quite awhile for the compulsion to go away. I don't know still if it is completely gone or if he is just able to resist it by sheer will power. I never realized before this experience what a hold drugs have on people but it was perhaps the darkest part of our married lives. I love him to pieces and it was good that I knew that he couldn't help what he was doing but many tears were shed.

If it helps, others have gone through it. Go back and read Ann Wood's posts. It would have taken me longer to realize what was happening had it not been for her. Why don't the doctors warn you? I hate Requip and Mirapex. I know they do good for some people but they are a nightmare for others. Happily I think we're through the nightmare. Hang in there and let us know how it goes.

By arlenecram On 2011.06.06 21:23
Harriett----Thank you SO much for your post. It helps to know that someone else has dealt with this---and I am calling his neurologist tomorrow to get him off the requip. He has had Parkinsons for 7 years now---and the past year has been a tough one. Thank God for this Forum--it helps so much ,especially when there is no one to talk to.I will go back and read Ann's posts. Again---thanks!!

By susger8 On 2011.06.07 08:15
Weaning off Requip is a slow process, it will take a while. But it's very likely that Requip is contributing to the problem (though some PDers have obsessive behaviors anyway).

My dad had some obsessive behaviors on Requip, not such major ones, but they did go away when he went off the medication.

My father-in-law (not a PWP) has a problem with sweepstakes and contests. For a while he was getting about two dozen sweepstakes offers a week. I ended up registering him with this website to stop unsolicited mail. It seems to have helped. You need to remember to register all the variations of his name under which he is getting the junk mail.

https://www.dmachoice.org/dma/static/faq.jsp

Sue

By abp0822 On 2011.06.07 16:06
I agree, it is the Requip. My father had several compulsions come out very strongly until he switched to Stalevo.

See the neuro for a med change.

By poppadum On 2011.07.12 18:31
Hi Arlenecram, Karolinakitty posted "PDmeds and side effects" on 2011.06.07. It explained a whole lot of my hubby's strange new habits to me, including compulsive buying to the point where we were about to go broke.
It's a "must read"!
My husband too was on Mirapexin (European version), which was replaced by Stalevo but of course each patient reacts differently to medicines. Stalevo did not do away with hubby's compulsive behaviour altogether. Nowadays he focuses on new "hobbies" to the point where he ignores everything else.
I used to try to reason with him but no matter how nicely I put it, he always felt attacked and got angry with me. Now when he I find out he does "crazy" things which involve risks I take hold of his arms, tell him to look at me and to pay attention (otherwise he ignores me), that if he wants to behave like a 3 year old, I shall treat him as such. I explain the risks involved and give him an ultimatum: "You insist on driving on the motorway when you know very well that you fall asleep on long straight roads. These are the risks........ Make one move towards the motorway and not only shall I ring the police but also your neurologist who is the one who decides if you keep your driving license or not. Your need to stay independent is not as great as my need and my conscience to keep you and fellow road users alive and well". He knows from experience that I am not one to go back on any threats I make. And yes, he gets angry, but he also gets angry when I explain nicely. Only the latter has no effect nowadays.


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