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Topic Respite! Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jockdoc On 2011.07.18 10:15
To all the Hero Caregivers out there, It's been 3+ years since my Barb made her trip up to heaven.
I try to read all the posts daily, and it breaks my heart sometimes to hear all the painful trials so many of you are facing.
Respite is a term I ignored for the most part of my caregiving life, and it cost me dearly. Caregivers must take care of themselves as they give care. It will wear you out so that you'll not be effective anymore as a Caregiver.
Jock Doc

By cmonge On 2011.07.18 10:24
How do you get respite when your loved one will not let you out of his site. I tried to go to the mall yesterday, by myself, and he was insisting on going with me. It became too much arguing with him so I just let it go. Then I was going to take my daughter to Las Vegas for a couple of days and he wouldn't let me even do that. Arguing takes so much energy and since his reasoning and memory functions are declining, it doesn't make any sense to him. Then he forgets and I have to repeat it and have the discussion multiple times. I end up crying and depressed. Thank God for therapy!

By abp0822 On 2011.07.18 11:44
Jock Doc, I remember you and your exquisite care for your lovely Barb and I remember when she died too.

I don't post often but you have a fan in Virginia and I thank you for your wisdom.

My mom (my dad's hero caregiver) has finally hired in some extra help twice a week which has been wonderful to give her some rest or time to have lunch with a friend. Little by little Dad is warming to the helper and we're confident he'll allow her to do more to help him as time passes. I only wish she'd get even more help but she's stubborn.

You speak from painful experience and are so, so right. Thank you.

By jockdoc On 2011.07.18 14:05
Thanks folks for the reply. Help is hard to find, because sub-caregivers feel out of place for the most part. It's not easy work, there is no training. Family can help, church brothers and sisters. Many of us can't afford nurses to cover for us. Barb's last year I had one day off. I finally collapsed. Jock Doc

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