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By jules0800 On 2011.07.25 23:36
I'm new to all this and this is my story... my father was diagnosed 6 years ago, my mother was his caretaker until cancer hit and she passed late in December. They lived in another state and I had to take a few months off of work to fly back and forth during this awful time. I live with my boyfriend and he has graciously moved my father in with us. I'm starting to get overwhelmed!!! This is harder than I could have ever imagined. I have never been one who asked for help.
This forum has explained so much. Thank you to all of you who have made this journey before me.

By cmonge On 2011.07.26 10:23
I know how you feel. You basically give up your life to care for this person. It's not something you expect and it's extremely frustrating. It is especially hard if you are young. You are lucky you have your boyfriend for support. My advice to you is to get some help with your dad (check his insurance to see if he has home health coverage) so you and your boyfriend can go out and take a break. Do not jeopardize this relationship. Remember you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your dad.

By HappyPuppy On 2011.07.26 15:02
I wanted to respond last nite but couldn't find the words... I have moved Dad (diagnosed 2 years ago at 72 but with symptoms for a few years prior) near me but not in with me (guilt about that) - for fear of sinking as I don't feel like I could 'do it' effectively. I already feel overwhelmed but am learning as I go. I am over there daily but am finding it hard to balance work and my own household as well. I am about at the point that I'm looking for more help for my dad during the day or to move him to a (smaller?) place that can help him more. He could hardly walk last nite and ate his dinner with one butt cheek hanging off the chair as he kept saying 'I'm falling off the chair' ... well, duh! - <cry>. Attending some support group meetings is helpful and the info here is invaluable. I am learning: get help for things you can get help for and do what you can best do.

By plcpainter On 2011.07.26 19:09
Your situation reminds me of the old Diane Keaton movie "Baby Boom" where the single career woman inherits an orphaned baby and is thrust into parenthood. Most of us caregivers GROW into the role as our spouses, parents, or significant others slowly exhibit more and more symptoms and an increased need for help. You were expected to hit the ground running and have "instant" knowledge and understanding...a truly overwhelming task that is fraught with the propensity for failure! How could you and your boyfriend adapt to such a role "instantly"? You can't. Be gentle on yourself as you launch into this very steep learning curve! Feeling panicked is not unusual but as you learn and find your way you will gain some confidence and a LOT of insights. It is not an easy road but by reminding myself that many other people had trod these same stones has made me feel better. This forum has been a huge source of information and solace for me and I sincerely hope, it will be for you too. Write again.

By jules0800 On 2011.07.27 22:20
Thank you for your replys and all of your kind thoughts. I have contacted a social worker and we are meeting tomorrow. I'm hoping to get some home health care help. We got to meet the local fire department this morning due to a diabetic crisis, and spent the day in the emergancy room. But were back home tonight, dad is tucked in bed... tomorrow will be better!


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