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By hatepd On 2011.07.28 03:01
I'm now known as hatepd instead of sfoster.
Update: The worse has finally happened. As one might have imagined, I got in the line of fire and carried the bruise on my face. My sweetheart saw it the next day and just felt so guilty. Said I HAD to stop trying to save him. You must know how helpless I felt and still do, however the upside is that I am now able to sleep all night in the other room. Only problem I don't know what goes on with him until the next morning - sometimes good, sometimes not so good. His doctors office called yesterday about something unrelated and I shared with his nurse what had happened. She spoke with his doc and called me back with a recommendation of making appt with psych. Not sure what he can do, however, I don't think it could hurt - how do I mention this to my hubby without his loosing faith in me? I feel that is the worse that can happen considering that he needs to feel as good about himself and at the same time feel safe about our relationship. I love him so much and don't want to hurt him in any way. What do you think?

By HappyPuppy On 2011.07.28 10:30
The is a sensitive area - but remember you are treating the disease more than you are treating 'him' .... I don't think therapy would do anything but perhaps a nighttime sleep aid could help. I mainly wanted to suggest that you could use a Baby Monitor to 'hear' what is going on at night in the other room - my MIL used that system for FIL when they needed it.

By plcpainter On 2011.07.29 09:15
We have a baby monitor that we use when I've had to be out of town and a caregiver stays overnight in the guest room. It works great and they aren't expensive.

I too understand about maintaining a husband's dignity and not telling the doctor in front of them. What I do is email our doctor my concerns and then he weaves them into his conversation with my husband. He said something like, "Are you experiencing any violent or intense dreams?" and then the story was able to come out but through my husband's words, not mine. He thinks his doctor is really wonderful because the doc is always able to discuss exactly what is happening!! :)

By cmonge On 2011.07.29 23:14
My husband takes Seroquel for a sleep aid and it helps him sleep peacefully throught the night. Before it was a nightmare. Now, he does tend to "spread out" move around, and make some noise so I simply move to the next room and keep the doors open that way I can hear if anything significant goes on. You must get rest yourself or you cannot take proper care of your husband. Also, I too have bruises on my legs from helping my husband in situations which I probably shouldn't have. You need to get help and not feel guilty about it.

By hatepd On 2011.07.30 01:03
Thank you to everyone who has responded to my delima. I'm sure many of you know how you feel like you may be whining, but I guess it's better to whine then to feel so alone and not know what is "normal" and what is not. Again, thank you to each of you for your input.

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