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Topic Wil Is Coming Home Today Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By ILoveWil On 2011.07.28 12:51
Friends, today is a big day. My Wil is coming home with Smoky Mountain Homecare and Hospice. I just got the notice last night from the hospital. I am going there now to learn the process of feeding him with the stomach tube and learn more about the mainline he has on his chest.

When they called me, they moved very fast to get everything in place. The only thing not in place is my emotions. I don't mind telling you, I am happy for my Wil, after 57 days away is now going to be able to come home, but to tell the truth, I am scared to death.

The future is so uncertain and he will be bedridden and I don't want to make a mistake in caring for him. Because I really love him and want to make his last weeks, months etc happy and comfortable for him, I bet I will only do what is right for him. I want to just really have a good cry first because I am frightened.

It hurt me so much last night to move our kingsize bed out of our bedroom, knowing that this was the loss of a precious time in our marriage and now I am entering a new stage of loneliness and separateness. But I've got to keep an attitude of thankfulness and appreciate every day and moment I will have with him. Dealing with such loss and impending final loss really will help me to appreciate and journal each moment of precious connection with him.

Will keep you posted. I wish you all could hug me...because I know only you really understand what I am about to go thru. Please pray for me that I will be strong in the Lord and will sense His love and presence. Thank you so much friends.

By packerman On 2011.07.28 14:48
sending prayers of healing and comfort from Nashville.
let me know if there is anything i can do to help you.
we are only a couple of hours away.
hugs,
Pat

By ILoveWil On 2011.07.31 22:02
Dear Packerman, thank you for your encouragement. Now I am ending my 3rd full day being the caretaker for my husband at home. The first day, the Hospice Center sent a nurse, chaplain, certified nursing assistant and social worker. He slept most of the first 2 days, even when I was processing his food through his stomach tube but today he is really getting on my nerves. We gave him a bell to ring for me and he rings it 2 min. after I leave the room. The only time I can wash his linens or get myself a bite to eat or answer the phone or feed the cat seems to be when he is asleep. We were able to pick him up and sit him in his wheelchair for about an hour and he fell asleep. But all problems aside, this is what I prayed for...that he would have a few more days, weeks, months at home with me and the family. So being thankful makes all these little irritations easier to deal with.

Someday, I may wish I could hear that bell ring again...so today I will give thanks and laugh at the little irritations. Thank you for writing today.

By plcpainter On 2011.08.01 00:31
It was an answer to your prayers to have Wil home and am so very happy for both of you that you have this time together in your home. It is a different sort of time than you've had in the past but you are in a different chapter together now. Will keep you close to my heart and in my prayers. One thing I might suggest -- put a little timer next to his bell. Tell him you must do some chores and ask him if he can wait to ring the bell until the timer goes off. He is probably very afraid too and needs your presence for comfort. Perhaps by increasing the length of the timer you can build his sense of confidence. Just a thought FWIW. I like your spirit about keeping things in perspective. Bless you.

By shakingpt On 2011.08.01 08:33
ILOVEWIL. You are one special lady. May God be with you.

By shakingpt On 2011.08.01 08:47
ILoveWil- you are one special lady. May God be with you 2.

By parkinit On 2011.08.03 22:27
Hugs to you. This is a difficult journey for all.


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