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Topic Taking New Steps to Cope Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By dear On 2011.10.07 12:10 [Edit]
After reading material on this site and receiving suggestions, I have set in motion some changes that are helping me to manage and cope with new stress. First, I saw my doctor and he prescribed an antidepressant for me. I also have begun taking breaks by going out into our garden and sipping tea getting away from the vocalizations and other distractions that can grind on my nerves our after hour. This has brought more peace into my daily life again so coping is easier. The construction continues but in the end, we will have separate quarters for a live-in to help with what I can't do for the two of us as I have my own mobility and endurance issues. We are applying for VA benefits and exploring the agent orange connection to determine if this applies in my husband's case. I have taken over responsibility of the household finances after it became recently clear that my husband's growing apathy is an issue and finance charges were mounting. In the course of doing this, I reviewed our utility expenses and lowered our monthly liability by 180.00.Next, I interviewed and am bringing in more help with the house. I also do almost all of the driving now. I have discovered when my husband starts nit picking, it is possibly that he hasn't asked a question or expressed his thought so I understsand what he is getting at and it escalates from frustration into an argument. Also, that if this continues to the point of no return, and if I change the topic, it quells the frustration and the tone returns to a more congenial level. I am learning how to avoid arguments by paying more attention to these dynamics. It has been tough but we have put back evening time together getting him away from the computer so we can sit together and have couple time. He got new ear buds for his ipod so he can listen to it in bed without disturbing my rest. For now, we are going to bed together, so his thumping and bumping late at night has ceased, and thankfully I am getting my rest again. I still think he is over medicated after 5 as he goes into hyper mode, and am encouraging him to contact his neurologist to gain his input on what to do. Thanks a million to those of you who have helped me get this far with these adjustments. Hope and normalcy is back in my life again.

By LotsaBob On 2011.10.07 13:41
Dear, If your husband can prove "BOOTS ON THE GROUND" in Vietnam or Korea along the DMZ or on the list of ships in the "BLUE WATER NAVY" or "BROWN WATER NAVY" he would be eligeble for VA benefits. PD is on the list of presumtives for AO (agent orange). When I say boots on the ground, it takes in all branches of the military. If you have any question you can e-mail at:

By dear On 2011.10.07 17:15 [Edit]
Thanks! If we get stuck, I will contact you. Appreciate you offer to help.

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