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By impressive87 On 2011.11.15 18:09
hi, i'm chris. ive posted on this forum before about my issues. i'm 24 and ive been care giving for my mom since 2001. she has parkinson's. i may have hit rock bottom. i need someone else to tell me that everything will be ok. im filled with rage and anger all the time. ive started knocking things down around the house. i keep telling myself im going to give up im done, but i know i cant. ive looked up the 7 deadly care giving problems. i have my good days and bad days. i feel like my life is trapped in this. sometimes i say why did i sign up for this. and my mom shes noticing all the rage and anger i have. ive tried other ways to cope and they've worked for like a day or two but then im back to this anger filled resentment that ive never had until this. am i the only one that goes through this? at least once a week i just sob in my room at night. i only have 1 friend that ive known since 7th grade but now hes working so much and i just feel so bad telling him all my problems because i know what problems he has in his life. i just need another way out, even if its someone else to talk to that understands.

By karolinakitty On 2011.11.15 22:31
Chris...being so young I don't know what to tell you other than anyway you can get to a support group or see a psychologist, you are super stressed and need something to give you a little calm in your life....this will end for you...I don't know your mother but I bet she feels what you are going through and it hurts her just as much....
Take a deep breath and see what you can do about getting to see someone about your anger.....before it gets the best of you.....

By LOHENGR1N On 2011.11.16 00:13
Chris, Welcome back, no you're not the only one who has or goes through those feelings. The feeling you express are normal. You said you've tried other ways to cope and they worked for a day or two then you're back to anger filled resentment. I trust the coping ways are safe like relaxing exercises, breathing, and self help tips. So along those lines I encourage you to keep it up. Although a day or two doesn't seem like much it is very impressive! You're dealing with your Mom's chronic progressive disease. Coping is finding a way to deal with this. You have to realize these ways don't make any problem go away or make things easy for ever. They are tools to get you through the really rough spots of life. Many caregivers hope at times to be able to cope for the next hour until the patient is in bed. Or the next five minutes until they get their charge home and safely in the house. These tools don't fix everything they just help get you through to the next whatever happens. Believe it or not you're a strong person to be doing what you are. So practice meditation, relaxation, breathing, practice calming down, these will hold and help you not only now but in your future life down the road. My Friend you are not alone in this. The where and why of things have been debated for thousands of years and there is still no definitive answer. I certainly don't have the answer but you're feeling normal feelings and things will work out. Just remember the coping gets you through or over the rough spots, it doesn't last or fix things forever it is something we have to keep working at throughout life. I hope this helps, take care, best of luck and hang in there! Email me if you want at just put forum post in header so I don't miss it.

By Pearly4 On 2011.11.16 12:04
Have you looked for assistance in your caregiving? In your place my anger would be (and was) directed at being "trapped" in a situation. Have you tried looking for some assistance through your Area Council on Aging or a similar group? Their services are usually volunteer or at low cost and with some assistance in the care of your mother, and some time for yourself to live a life you should be living instead of one that you feel "forced" into, your anger may diminish. You've done a lot for a long time for your mother -- you need to think of yourself too.

Its difficult as the caregiver to a parent to take a stronger role and insist on assistance, but I hope that you are able to do so.

By parkinit On 2011.11.19 19:39
Chris -

Without prying too much, is your mom on disability? Could this money provide for her some help while you are able to get out during the day and work yourself?

The interactions with others would be so helpful to you. You are young and should be interacting with others and just getting out of the house to work or go to college (if you haven't already) would be helpful for you.

It sounds like you need a well-deserved break and perhaps you could provide financial assistance while getting yourself out of the house. Many of us feel or felt this at some point - "but what about me?" Chris, do yourself a favor and do your mom a favor - do something for yourself that could benefit the both of you because it will help your attitude of resentment.

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