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By karolinakitty On 2012.02.26 14:06
I read this and think that at one point or another we all don't meet these expectations but found it interesting...

By parkinit On 2012.03.01 10:18
Interesting. Unfortunately all spousal caregivers don't naturally have these qualities and they have to develop them (if possible) or both parties will be lose.

Hiring a caregiver with pure 100% empathy is one thing, but when you are forced into this role and don't chose it (as an occupation), and aren't innately empathetic to the point you can put yourself in that person's shoes (as the article implies one must do), it can be a really bad situation for all involved.

Personally, I've made many sacrifices and adjustments for a person who told me if he was put in the same situation, "I probably wouldn't be a good caregiver as I'm just not made to do that." As spouses, none of us are "made" to do this, but we do it because we love the other person.

For those who have invigorating professional careers - whether male or female - it is very difficult to step "down" to the lowly (and lonely) position of simply taking care of another person's needs. Out goes the "daily meetings" on challenging topics to "weekly meetings" with the nurse to see what pills have changed this week.

However, here we are doing just that, with a smile on our faces and a loving greeting every morning (okay, most mornings). It is quite an adjustment, so I applaud those who have done this. I've seen men take care of their wives and I know they wouldn't chose it, just as I haven't, but I truly respect them and others for what they do for their spouses. Many of these men were brought up in the generation who believe their one and only job to the family is "to bring home the bacon," so it is tough for them to suddenly to become a nurturing caregiver.

My hats off to all caregivers. Keep on smiling.

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