This too shall pass, but I have to voice my current thoughts to ease the pain and strain of the last few days. |
You see, I had a really cool trip planned to visit my daughter this weekend. She was excited, too. She had taken off two of her precious vacation days to extend the weekend activities. We had made lots of plans, found wonderful activities to do, and it was just going to be a nice, fun-filled, relaxing weekend with no thoughts of my PWP as I enjoyed my daughter's company while he was in the good hands of 5 different, competent caregivers. Oh, yes, and I was going with his blessing.
Then yesterday happened. Something that occurs about every 2-5 months. Yep, you guessed it, he fell. Several broken bones, an overnight stay at the hospital and suddenly, I have no weekend Mother's Day plans. I calmly cancelled hotel reservations and other appointments made for during the trip. I called my daughter, who was very sad, but thought it was the right thing to do. I stayed the night with my PWP in the hospital, brought him home, continued to feed, dress, bathe, groom him, and brought him home. Then, I sneaked off upstairs and had myself a good "pity party session." I cried for me, I cried for my daughter. This has happened before, where I make plans, and they are quickly dashed away by an incident.
I detect more and more people simply give up inviting, asking, including family members because we can't always give a definitive answer, we disappoint, and we let down. We become pariahs, we lose family and friends. We become loners. Am I the only one who feels this way?
This, too, shall pass, but I just need to work this out in print, wallow in it for a bit, dust myself off and continue on this horrid, lonely journey.