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Topic Dad has left us. Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By susger8 On 2012.05.26 18:47
My father passed away this morning. He was 89 and was diagnosed with PD when he wa 74. He coped well until about 6 years ago, then I started helping him over his objections.

In the past couple of months he pretty much stopped talking, and I could see that his circulation was slowing down. This past week he didn't have much interest in food -- and I have always said that the day I worry about him would be the day he doesn't want ice cream! On Friday he refused to eat or drink, and he was lethargic and weak, so we went to the ER. His BP was very low, he was (of course) dehydrated, and his blood oxygen was low.

Apparently he aspirated something during the past few days and had a pretty serious infection going. I came to see him in the hospital this morning, and his breathing was not looking good. I went downstairs for a few minutes to get some coffee, and when I came back, he had stopped breathing. It was very peaceful, but honestly I was not expecting it to happen so quickly.

I am sad, but I feel it is a blessed release. I made all the arrangements today, and my dear sister is coming out from Montana tomorrow (even though she had bunion surgery two weeks ago - she is a brave soul!). I cleaned Dad's wheelchair and will take it to the airport so she doesn't have to try to navigate our huge airport on crutches.

I want to say thank you to everyone on this board. I learned so much and found so much helpful information. More than that, I found friends who have given me so much support during these difficult years.

Love to all,


By karolinakitty On 2012.05.26 22:16
So sorry to hear the loss of your dad, but glad he went peacefully....Prayers for you and your family....

By LOHENGR1N On 2012.05.26 23:13
Sue, My condolences to you and your family. Your Dad fought the good fight and you were in His corner throughout. In the days ahead may G-d carry you close and light the way in dark times. Laugh when you can, cry when you must and take time to heal. Sincerely Al

By shakydog On 2012.05.27 02:34
It's always difficult even when "expected". My Condolence in your grief.

Remember who he was before all this
Try and forget what he was forced to become
Rejoice for the love of your father

We may give our daughters hand in marriage, but we can never release the bond she has on our heart.

I'm thinking that he was a proud and happy Daddy right to the end.

It isn't much, but we all wish you


By lurkingforacure On 2012.05.27 10:26
I am sorry for your loss. It is interesting that your father stopped breathing when you had left the room, this happened to me with my mom (literally minutes after I left her side) and I have read it is not uncommon.

Peace to you and know that you were a loving supportive daughter to your dad.

By moonswife On 2012.05.27 12:46
I add my sympathy and condolence to the rest. Daughters that are caregivers are twice as sad. They lose a parent and patient. My mom went at a very advanced age too. I was able to grieve while knowing she no longer felt pain, it no longer mattered that she had lost her sight and that she would join her loved ones in heaven.
A hug to you, Sue

By susger8 On 2012.05.27 13:16
Thank you all for your kind thoughts, I appreciate them very much.

Lurking, I know what you mean about how people sometimes seem to wait until they are alone to pass away. Before I left the room I took my dad's hand and talked to him for a few minutes, even though he was asleep. I think I knew he might be gone when I returned.

Being a WWII veteran, he will have military honors at his burial. I am really pleased about that.


By plcpainter On 2012.05.27 17:01
Dear Sue -- I am so sorry to hear this news. Your father's symptoms have often mimicked my husbands, so I've always read your thoughtful posts with interest. His passing sounds peaceful and I'm glad he is released from the confines of his earthly body that no longer was serving him. I know you must have been a huge comfort to him. Thank you for your brave posts. My best to you and your sister.

By parkinit On 2012.05.27 20:25
Sue -

Hugs to you. I agree with plc in her eloquent stating of leaving the earthly body which no longer was serving him.

Thank you for being here for us, too!

By sunshine On 2012.05.29 01:50
My sincere condolences Sue on the passing of your father. May you have peace in knowing that he is at rest now and may your beautiful memories of the better days gone by, be with you, to comfort you during your sadness.
Thank you so much for all you have shared with us. Many times I have read your wonderful insights and your honest feelings along this journey we all have shared and been so grateful for you.
Rest and replenish now for you and may you know, as is my belief, your Dad will always be with you.
Hugs and blessings
Sunshine :)

By susger8 On 2012.06.04 13:48
Thank you again for all your kind wishes. We had a service on Wednesday with just the family and Dad's health aide in attendance, as Dad had told us he didn't want a big event. Then we had lunch together and exchanged our memories of him. The military honors were very impressive.

Now I am embarking on another new thing I've never done before, as the executor of his estate. This is where it is useful that I've handled all his finances for the past 6 years, since I know exactly what his assets are and where all his documents are located.

My husband and my sister have been really helpful and supportive, making a difficult time a little easier.

My boss said (from her experience with her mother) that even when you know a person has a chronic disease that will take them from you at some time, you are never really prepared when it happens. And she is so right.

Love to all,


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