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By phoenix On 2012.06.04 21:51
So this morning my PWP left me a mess to clean up which had me gagging and retching. He asked what was going on - when I told him and asked him to try not to do that again, he immediately launched into a long list of why this disease is so hard on him. I get that, and I know parkinsons dementia is making it impossible for him to understand why this is so tough for me. When I read this over, it sounds so selfish, but it's so hard to keep getting nothing in return

By chroop67 On 2012.06.04 22:25
I totally get what you are saying. Your not selfish just talking reality. My mom is in a nursing home but i do understand as I cared for her prior to her living there. We recently moved and just last week went back to see her. It seems that PD'ers become very self-focused and I get that, the disease affects everything but I think it also steals their ability to be grateful. I try to do things with mom that my 'real' mom would have loved or bring her things that have a significant meaning but the reaction is always flat and then she launches into her 'wo-is-me' talk and it is impossible to stear her out of it. It is hard so...... rant when necessary, cry to keep your sanity and then do what we all do, get up and muster on.
Take care

By kaykaykan On 2012.07.25 21:23
Most days I am at my wits end. I have had to take over his meds and since he no longer drives, it was his last vestage of control. He stays in his room, in his bed or in his chair 23 plus hours everday. He pancis when his blood pressure is just a little elevated and was taking blood pressure pills all the time till I took over. He was always manuplative and now as the dementia progresses, he is still trying to control and get his way. I have been a caaregiver and not a wife for over twelve years. I am 61 and he will soon be 69. Since his diagnosis with PD I realize many symptoms started at least 10 years ago. He won't listen to me and is constantly questioning his meds and demanding his blood pressure pills before it is time to have them. He doesn't interact with our children or grandkids for more than 5 minutes at a time. I feel cruel when I get short tempered when I recieve the fifth call in an hour while I am working. I must work. He can still dress himself, get his shower and prepare lunch in the microwave or a sandwich for lunch. I have cut back my hours at work and am thinking about taking early retirement at 62. I have been blessed with good health, thank God because after his policies, deductables and meds, I can't afford coverage. It is frustrating because our marriage was troubled all these years and the increased stress has my sanity in question! I finally told him he has to try to help me by trusting that I have his best interest at heart and if he continues to fight me at every turn, I won't be able to do this. Then the guilt hits when he says I am threatening him. He told me last night he knows I won't put him in a home because I am too nice to do that to him. I could scream and while my grown daughters listen, they don't offer much more than that. After 40 years I am so tired and angry that I am here. I cry many days just watching him walk through the house on his rare trips from his room. I flip from anger, to sorrow, to guilt. Thanks for being there and understanding. Prayers for all.


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