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Topic The simplest things bring sadness Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jcoff012 On 2012.08.08 00:42
Why is it that the simplest things bring such overwhelming sadness?

Tonight, my husband came downstairs and as he approached me, I said, "Honey, your shirt is tangled..." He looked at me sadly and said, "I put it on to wear to bed...what's wrong with it?"

It struck me...he truly didn't notice how badly twisted his tshirt was and even after I said something, he didn't try to fix it...This is my normally anal retentive, oc with his appearance, handsome husband...He was a Marine, for goodness sake...

I got up, pulled it around, held out his arm, but frustrated, I finally said, "There, it's fixed." All the time, realizing that perhaps this was the beginning of me helping two people to dress daily...my 3 year old grandson and my 64 year old husband...and the overwhelming loss was devastating.

As I type this, I see that the reality of this disease has hit me...he isn't going to get better, but he WILL get worse...and neither of us is prepared...He has dealt with symptoms for years, but these last two years are crashing in on us.

Sorry to come on at a low time...I try to remain positive and I promised to remember the good times, but sometimes the reality of PD just stinks. Jane

By PDFighter On 2012.08.08 03:10
The reality of PD does stink! You're right. But, it seems like some days are better than others. And, some times of the day are better than others, at least in the case of my husband, who's had PD since late 2001. It always seems to me that he'll have a bad day or two, and then have days that are better. Just when I think he's lost the ability to do something, like put on his pants without help, the next day he'll surprise me and do it on his own. It's a roller-coaster ride. Sometimes it does feel like we're headed down a hill with no brakes, but then something happens to make us realize that there are still reasons to smile and be thankful for each other and the lessons we're learning from this journey. It helps me to always be on the lookout for the good things, instead of allowing myself to focus on the bad, which I have no control over.

By jaxrock On 2012.08.08 09:27
Oh boy, can I relate!!

There are times when my husband gets a glazed, droopy look in his eyes, and just stands there unable to finish dressing....I have to do the same thing you did....and it hurts like heck to see him in that condition...

I, too, remember the extremely neat, tidy and perfectly dressed guy ........who isn't there any more..........so, I do what I can when I'm needed to help out..

It's so sad, isn't it?

Other times, though, we can almost forget he has PD..............those times are fewer and fewer, but they do occur.

Your post really resonated with me.

Stay strong.............

By parkinit On 2012.08.08 11:16
My husband requires help with all his ADL's - including dressing - each and every day. The first two hours of my day are devoted to nothing but him - dressing, showering, shaving, getting dressed, preparing his breakfast.

He is also very anxious first thing in the morning and wants help NOW to get out of bed. I'm sure it is because he can't move and he is a bit panicked about ensuring he has help.

The next hour is mine, however. It is my time to relax, get some exercise (have to stay indoors because I don't leave him alone anymore), and finally, get my own shower.

I know you think this stage is horrible, but you can and will do it and much more before the disease is through with both of you.

By jcoff012 On 2012.08.11 00:06
We are supposed to go to a lecture and demonstration of Parkinson's exercises tomorrow at one...we'll see how it goes...

I want to go because HE wants to go, at least tonight...and, as long as he can, we will...

Tonight was a good night...we had a very light dinner and watched some tv...it's very hot here, so we sat in the a/c...that's ok...sometimes it's good to be quiet!

Thanks for the responses...love you all for listening...Jane


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