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Topic 2013 is almost here... Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jcoff012 On 2012.12.28 23:23
Another year ending, and another challenges, my annual cancer checkup (6 years cancer free, I hope! In February), our son's cancer has not spread, so that is wonderful news (he has been battling testicular cancer for five years, but the real problem was/is a football sized tumor in his abdomen that has diminished, but not gone), my husband is fighting the PD with all of his might, but his agitated emotional health coupled with his tremors are wearing us both out.

Those are constants in our lives. We chose to cope with them and move on. We hope that we will have the fortitude to face all that PD tosses our way. With his Mom's 22 year battle with PD, we know our future lives are forever changed and challenged. With your help, we will do our best to stay positive and helpful to others here. We are "new" to this PD with my husband, but are not new to PD.

I won't ever be self righteous or patronizing, but I admit I wish that there was some REAL help, real respite, real, "guilt-free" time away from caregiving, and more than anything, I wish all caregivers were able to know that their spouse with PD did nothing to bring this putrid disease into their lives. I personally know what it is like to be the object of pity, to face your own mortality, and to have a chronic health problem through no fault of my own (cancer surgeries left me with left leg lymphedema)...maybe we faced all that so that we would be able to face PD.

Maybe that is why my PWP and I face PD differently, positively. Maybe we are too early into the disease to be credible, but I really don't think so. It really isn't much different hearing, " You have cancer" than "You have PD." How we all face health problems makes daily caregiving manageable or not. He was there for me, as the song says, "in my darkest hours", and so I will be for him.

Don't get me wrong, we have hurtful fights because of his meds, he drools and shuffles, he stoops, is in constant back, shoulder and neck pain, suffers daily freezes, is short tempered quite often, has a mask like stare most of the time, and sleeps in a recliner most nights because he feels like he is suffocating if he lies flat in bed, and I miss the hugs and that special hug a wife knows is hers alone...You see, he is stooped over when he stands, so no matter how hard I try to slide into that tender embrace, it is gone, replaced by a sweet one, but one that lacks his muscular, Marine-formed body...never an ex-Marine, remember...ALWAYS a Marine! Lolol

So, let the new year bring you peace and know that you are never alone. Whenever you need to face the unbearable, remember there is always someone (sadly) who has to face worse. Have that cry, or scream at the injustice of it all...Then, know for every problem you face, there is someone here who will virtually hug you or hold your hand. They have been here for me.

Happy New Year to you all and thank you all for listening...and for just being here. Much love, many hugs, and have a good year! Jane

By mylove On 2012.12.29 09:07

I've been quiet here for a long time because I'm so terribly overwhelmed with all that's going on right now (and hopefully 2013 will mean an ease to at least some of that), but I've itched to respond to several of these posts. Congratulations for being the one who prompted me out of lurking! ;)

Amen to your letter. We know our real enemy. We also know that one of our greatest weapons against it is the love that we share between us. I second your sentiment - thank you all, for being here and listening, and may your pleasures be many and your burdens light in this new year!

By jcoff012 On 2012.12.29 18:11
My love,

As I have said many times, I value your input and that of your husband...have been wondering how you both are managing. I think about your love and tenderness and wish I could take this disease away for you both.

Find some of his posts, reread them when life gets tough...his love is deep and your posts help many of us...thank you and thank him...and, to repeat your post, may your burden be light this new year! Love, Jane

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