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Topic Hyper sexuality Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By Liliana On 2013.01.08 01:25
My fiancÚ was diagnosed with Parkinson's in January 2012, which came as a shock to us both. He is only 43. He was suffering with cronic fatigue, hand tremble, muscle rigidity and had developed a limp. He's been on medication for almost a year now and his symptoms are radically improved which is such a relief to him. We chuckled about some of the the side effect of the drugs, especially cross dressing, gambling and hyper sexuality. Well I'm not laughing now as I have just discovered that he has been visiting a dungeon and has become obsessed with being a sub to a mistress. I read his emails. He has always been open to me about his fantasies and we have shared a few of these his partner It's natural to be expressive together, but I was devastated when I discovered that he has pushed the boundary and actually engaged with other women. He met them on a dating site and I saw his discussions about what he has done in a dungeon. Shocking. He has assured me that he has stopped, so I won't leave him....but I am so worried that he won't be able to because of the drugs. If anyone else has had problems like this I am desperate for some advice and help.

By lurkingforacure On 2013.01.08 09:20
Liliana, search this forum and you will find lots of posts about this, unfortunately. From my research, this problem does not go away...he may be able to minimize it for awhile or even stop but PD is relentless....

You do not mention what drugs he takes but if he takes Mirapex, it can exacerbate traits like this. I personally do not believe, and have been told by our neuros, that it does not "create" compulsions, but rather can seriously exacerbate traits that are already present. For example, if you liked to shop before, you may find yourself shopping all the time. If you never really shopped before, you probably won't once you start this PD med. But, everyone is different and there are stories out there all over the place.

Sex brings comfort, pleasure, and pain relief and that is another reason so many tend to focus (too much) on it. It takes their mind off of their misery, even if only for a little while. I get that, but it does get weary. I often feel stalked in my own house, as soon as I sit down for a break (we have young children as my husband was early-onset as well and they keep you really busy), I become a target. I have not slept in our bed for over a year partly because of this and also because my husband now snores like a bear, is up several times a night, and leaves every light on in the bedroom and bath. It is impossible to sleep together, which I hate, but reality bites and I have no choice.

This forum has tons of input from wonderful people so take some time and read through prior posts, you will find a wealth of information here from people who know what you are going through.

By Liliana On 2013.01.08 10:11
Thanks for your response, I think by learning about other people with Parkinson's will help me to get a better understanding. He is taking stalevo and sifrol in small doses at the moment which concerns me too...will his obsessions get worse as the dose goes up...and I really relate to the idea that this is not a created compultion but something that he has thought about for a long time and now has no control. We have been together for 8 years and he has often been slightly let's say expressive about his sexual desires from the beginning, and he had affairs during his previous marriage. But this is perverse and out of control. It's hard enough that he has PD and I guess my ignorance didn't see this coming. I have been reading lots of posts on this forum, which I only found last night and am feeling a small wave of relief that he is not the only one suffering from an impulse control disorder. I just wish he would talk to me about all this. He is in denial.

By cmonge On 2013.01.08 23:58
The drugs do do this but so does the disease. Have to tell you --it's relentless. Fortunately my husband's compulsions have been mild and only extreme at times. We stopped all drugs and it's gotten better.

By lurkingforacure On 2013.01.09 07:49
There have been more than a few people who have come here that were in relationships that only became marriage material after the guy realized he was il...not saying this is your situation at all, but it happens. I hope I'm not the only one that noticed this, you said you had been together for 8 years and are engaged, I'm not asking but you may want to think about the sequence of events here. And it certainly can go the other way too, we have two incredible people here on this forum who after many PD years together are getting married. Just know what you are getting into:)

By Liliana On 2013.01.09 07:49
It's interesting that you say that.. it's restless....we live in France and my partners neurologist is useless,he gives us no information just prescribes drugs. I have more of an interest in understanding PD than my parter who has it, he's just happy taking the drugs and keeping his new sexual desires and practices a secret from me...if I hadn't read his mail I would never have known what he has been up to, and he is not open to discussion which is so frustrating. I worry alone. He is incredibly restless, has always been, and now more than ever and i didn't know that restlessness was PD related. He travels abroad lots with his job, his job is stressful and the travel tires him but I know he thrives on the stress and constant travel, I wonder now if this is all PD related too. I will keep reading other people's experiences to try to gain a bigger picture and just hope that as a couple we get through this. I just don't know how to open him up , get him to talk about how he feels. It's like walking on egg shells sometimes......ho hum

By Liliana On 2013.01.09 08:04
Just read your post - lurkingforacure- yes I worry worry worry, but have never asked myself 'what am I getting myself into' when you love someone as much as I love him you just always think, we can through this..........?

By lurkingforacure On 2013.01.09 13:43
Your fiance may be trying to live as much as he can while he can. That's great, as long as you're included! But it is selfish and not at all fair if he expects you to worry about his PD and do all the research (I have this in my situation and have actually been told I'm supposed to cure my husband on more than one occasion, talk about dumping the world on my shoulders).....whiile he goes online and lives it up, unbeknownst to you.

Sorry if I seem harsh.

By Liliana On 2013.01.09 16:23
I don't think your being harsh at all, I am writting on this forum to hear what other people think. You are probably right when you say he is trying to live as much as possible, we can't know how it feels to have PD. I do have to say though that he doesnt expect me to research, that is my own decision....he doesn't know I have joined this forum...yet...I want to understand, I want facts and truths, I'm afraid by how he has been behaving and I'm not sure if he will be able to stop.
Thank you for sharing your thought with me

By GladIhavehorses On 2013.01.10 00:52
I am curious to know if this is strictly a male behavour? Most of the post are of female caregivers with male PD ers. Any insight?

By Liliana On 2013.01.10 05:21
I have been doing some research into his meds today and have discovered that the Sifrol he has been taking since march 2012 is Mirapex! (paramipexole) and Stalevo is Sinemet (Levodopa carbidopa)

By daisy On 2013.01.10 05:50
Not sure, if it is a case of the male gender not viewing female hypersexuality as a problem or just that there seems to be many more female caregivers on this forum than male ones. It certainly would be interesting to hear from our male counterparts. With DH, he had a severe reaction to Requip (ropinerole) which caused major sexual obsessions and delusional behaviour. When the medication was stopped the sexual problems lessened, to an extent, but not altogether.

I also agree with Lurking. Just last night I was accused of not doing Anything to make him feel better...The fact that he won't eat right, exercise, will stay up til the early hours watching porn rather than get proper rest has nothing at all to do with it.

By daisy On 2013.01.10 05:54
I believe that Mirapex and Requip are both dopamine agonists, which can definately cause compulsive behaviour. There are many older posts addressing this, here.

By Liliana On 2013.01.10 08:13
Yes I have read through lots of the older posts, someone mentioned neuro patch which I am interested to hear more about....has anyone tried this?....would be really interested to hear about experiences on that. Daisy does your husband not take any medication now?

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.01.10 08:25
Glad, No it is experienced by both sexes.

By daisy On 2013.01.10 10:22
The Neupro Patch also contains a dopamine agonist, which I fear would have the same effect, if he were predisposed that way, although I have known people successfully treated with it and not suffer any compulsive disorders. For this reason it was ruled out for DH.

His medication was altered back to just a combination of just Levadopa and Comtass (entacapone). However, he was unable to tolerate that either and suffered severe dyskinesia. He is now on a 24hour Duodopa pump, which has given him back a much improved standard of living.

By parkinit On 2013.01.12 23:36
My spouse has had addictive behavior with any of the dopamine agonists: Mirapex, Requip, and Neupro patches.

They are addictions that he cannot get away from. He wrote over an office wall a date on which he promised me he would view no more porn. Within two days he was back on the porn sites. He couldn't control it.

I've come to terms with the porn and because the patches really help, I haven't complained. However, if he was actually engaging in activities as your bf, I fear there would be an ultimatum in place as he is endangering my safety and I would ask that the dopamine agonist be removed from his pill regimen.

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