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Topic Seperate Bedrooms Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By layleerudylille On 2013.01.08 16:10
My husband was diagnosed almost a year ago with PD. One question I have and its kind of weird, how often do couples have seperate bedrooms? My husband is a very active sleeper. Swinging arms, kicking, punching. This does not happen every night, but enough that I feel we need seperate beds. He has no clue most of the time when he is doing this. It has woken him up on occassion and he feels terrible about it. I hate to tell him it happens more then he knows. I'm stuck as to how to handle this. I'm sure I will have many more questions as time passes. This one being the least of my worries. Thanks and God Bless all of you.

By jcoff012 On 2013.01.08 17:47
Welcome to the board. My husband was dx over four years ago, but just this year purchased a recliner for his nighttime sleeping. It sits beside our kingsize bed! He drools and felt like he was choking whenever he laid down, so he has been experimenting with this way of staying in the bedroom. I miss him, as we have been married almost 46 years (married at 18)...Jane

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.01.08 18:52
Laylee, Welcome to the forum. Just a question, does your husband have involuntary movements after taking his medication? If he does how close to bed time does he take his final dose of the day? I'm thinking adjusting the timing of the last dose might help? Run this past his doctor to see what they think. This disease is a roller coaster of a journey. You'll find yourself watching for a lot of cause and effect problems as it goes along. Like if something starts was there a change in medication recently? Do the med's need adjusting? It is a large complex puzzle to try to figure out. That said you've found a great place in the forum filled with many knowledgeable People to help you with any thing they can. We're all in this together.

Jane has the Neuro prescribed anything to help your Husband with the drooling issue?

Take care, best of luck and hang in there.

By jcoff012 On 2013.01.08 19:24
No, Al, and to be honest, I don't care for his neuro...but, Carl does, so...I keep quiet.

Hugs.

BTW, he doesn't have melanoma! Hooray! Cysts and leisions. Need to be watched, but no cancer!

By lurkingforacure On 2013.01.08 19:33
We do, and are barely 6 years into this. I felt a lot better about having to sleep apart, though, after I realized just how many spouses have to....it's a horrible choice between snuggling with your spouse or actually getting some sleep. A few nights of little to no sleep, and there's really not much of a choice.

By Trusting On 2013.01.08 23:43
My husband was thrashing around, swinging his arms, etc in the night but the doctor prescribed medication and it has almost stopped completely. He takes his last dose of medication about 1 hour before bedtime.

By cmonge On 2013.01.08 23:54
I still work and have to be up at 5:30 and I am so sleep deprived! I am now ready for separate bedrooms. My daughter moved out and I am slowly making the move-I am going to bring it up with his therapist. You have to take care of yourself.

By carman96 On 2013.01.09 08:01
My husband has slept in another bedroom for several years and its worked out well for us. The thrashing around etc. is from REM sleep disorder which is common with PD. He does take valuim for that which helps somewhat but not totally.
However I think at this point I need to be with him since he is starting to need more help in the night. Trying to figure out something that will work for both of us. Luckily I don't work which is good since taking care of him is getting to be a full time job.
Bottom line is you have to figure out how to take care of yourself so you can take care of your PWP. This is a great place to get advice on what works for others so you can decide what will work best in your own situation.

By layleerudylille On 2013.01.09 08:17
Thank you all for your advise and welcome. I can see this is going to be a wonderful site with wonderful people. God Bless

By seawench On 2013.01.09 14:16
After his Gallbladder surgery this summer we obtained a hospital bed. I placed a twin bed next to it. This puts space between us that we need and yet I am close by just in case. He can adjust the bed in any configuration he needs and we can play "come over darling" as the mood strikes

Seawench

By carman96 On 2013.01.09 15:57
Thanks Seawench. That might be the solution for us. Good idea.

By GladIhavehorses On 2013.01.10 01:14
We sleep in seperate bedrooms also. Someone has to get some sleep in this house. I am retired but I have a lot of work on our farm and can't function with out my sleep. And yes it was a issue at first but now he doesn't feel so bad about his constant twitches and getting in and out of bed. And don't forget you can always hook up and snuggle during his frequent afternoon naps.

By Freespirit On 2013.01.10 08:47
My husband and I have had separate bedrooms for a few years now. He gets up several times during the night to urinate. In addition, he is an incredibly loud snorer. Many times he chooses to sleep out in the living room in his LaZboy. Either way, I am still working, so I need to get my rest. So far, this has worked out for us. His sleeping pattern at night is terrible and he naps frequently during the day while I am at work.

By Lynnie2 On 2013.01.10 13:08
I have slept in a separate room on occasion but it isn't the same. This fall we bought a new bedroom set which also has a king sized bed. It is so much better and almost like sleeping separately. I don't notice his jerking as much or afraid that he might reach out. I have him make the bed so he gets some exercise too...lol.

By makrivah On 2013.01.10 20:52
How 'bout a moment of PD humor? My husband and I have been married for 43 years. Since Mr. P (my term for PD) has entered our lives, getting a good night's sleep is problematic even with a therapedic mattress (you know, the mattress you can jump on and not spill a glass of wine). As the sleep interruptions (trips to the bathroom, twitches and jerks) increase, I've been trying to figure out how to bring up the separate bedrooms idea.

Well, over the last several weeks I've been pretty sick (cold/flu, to bronchitis, to pneumonia) with a nasty cough. So yesterday he says to me "You know, you're keeping me awake with all that coughing. I think I'll start sleeping in the other room." If I'd known a couple of weeks of coughing would resolve the dilemma, I would have faked it months/years ago. It amazes me that he is oblivious to the hundreds of nights his "routine" kept me awake.

Just thought I'd share... I haven't slept this well in a long long time!

p.s. After two rounds of z-pack, I'm all better...no coughing.

By lurkingforacure On 2013.01.10 21:23
That is hilarious! Who would have thought?

Better have a plan for what you do when he realizes you are all better and not coughing any more!

By makrivah On 2013.01.10 22:00
If that happens, I figure I'll start coughing again. Maybe pre-record me coughing and play it at night ... sorta like Ferris in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" when he faked being sick so he could skip school. (BTW, I'll wear earplugs.)

By parkinit On 2013.01.12 23:40
Funny.

We sleep in separate room most nights, but still sleep together one to two nights a week just for the bonding, but I'm always sleep deprived the following day(s).


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