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Topic urinary incontinence--again! any advice? Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By carman96 On 2013.01.11 17:22
I know this has been talked about before but my husband's incontinence is getting worse and I'm exhausted from washing and cleaning up after him. I finally got him to wear depends at night but he usually has to change them and even then sometimes he pees all over everything anyway. The bed floor etc. Also he can't seem to hit the toilet and then he pees all over the floor and himself. I also have to help him dress most of the time and so that means multiple changes and more clothes to wash.
How does everyone else handle this?
He takes 40 Mg. of Detrol at night.

By blue2 On 2013.01.11 19:45
Carman96, We had to go to pull-up diapers for the same reasons you describe. It's quite a psychological adjustment for anyone who must rely on them, but no one but you and him need to know. He takes them for granted now and the laundry and clean up are much easier.

By jaxrock On 2013.01.12 09:29
We have finally found an overnight product that really works....and my husband's nighttime incontinence is as bad as you mention....

Try Abena Abri-Flex absorbent pull-up underwear.......we use the M3 - size It holds more fluid than any other product - and I think we've tried them all.

I found it online at the HDIS website...(.they deliver quickly, too)

It works!

My husband also wears an additional pair of briefs - absorbent washable padded briefs on top of the Abena.
still have an occasional wet-sheet morning, but nothing like it was!

Good luck...I hope this works for you

By carman96 On 2013.01.12 21:29
Thanks Jaxrock. I think I will order some of those. Right now he's wearing Depends for men. Real fit I think they are. They seem to fit well but maybe aren't absorbent enough.

By parkinit On 2013.01.13 00:02
We use an external catheter and urinary bag at night which allows us all much better sleep. He wears a Tena (Depends-like product) over this, a waterproof mattress pad and a draw sheet with a waterproof pad in fold of the draw sheet for any time the catheter may slip off (doesn't happen very often).

They make catheters in many sizes and many "older" patients may have to use a geriatric or juvenile catheter. I highly encourage this route. We also use a product called "preppies" to make the catheters adhere to the skin and stay up throughout the night.

By jaxrock On 2013.01.13 10:10
Yes, it's the husband wears the Depends Real Fit during the's fine for that

but, at night, if he urinates a lot, the only product that has worked is the Abena Abri-Flex..........

Many mornings, the underwear is heavy with urine.......and the bed is dry.

I certainly hope you experience the same!

You may even ask for a sample first - I believe it was where I received samples........the reason I order the packages from HDIS is this...they sell individual packages, not just cases...........and I didn't want to commit to a case if the product didn't work..

Good Luck

By carman96 On 2013.01.13 16:20
I will try the Abena to see how that works. Those adult pullups are so expensive! Last night he went through 4 of them and I don't even think they were wet! I don't know why he keeps changing them but I hope he can get used to them soon.
Don't know what an external catheter is but I will check it out.
thanks for your replies, it's good to know I'm not alone but of course I wish nobody had the problem in the first place.

By parkinit On 2013.01.18 19:47
Caman -

I highly recommend the external catheters for nighttime (we do the Tena brief product during the daytime). You can connect them to a bedside urinal bag and he isn't up and down all night long going to the bathroom. He gets more sleep and so do you! If you try the external catheters, stick with it until you find the proper fit. If they come off, it's too large and you need to keep going down in size until the fit stays on thru the night. We occasionally have nights where he rolls on the hose and pulls the catheter off, but this doesn't happen very often.

By tipplelady On 2013.01.20 20:47
Hello, my husband also had radical prostate surgery so any catheter is not an option. On a good day he remembers that "what goes in comes out", if he stops drinlking by 6pm and goes to bed at 11pm he is ok. On bad days,we watched and watched and found large sized bed pads, usually expensive, at Aldi's for 8 dollars. We bought 4 and they help. Also bought water proof mattress cover and cheap sheets. To avoid everyday washing use 5 gallon bucket to soak sheets for a couple of days, just like old fashioned diapers. This is a problem that has really caused anxiety for me, I don't like stepping in urine if I use the bathroom at night!

By jaxrock On 2013.01.21 07:28
yes, Tipplelady is right.........we also have the waterproof mattress cover under the well as a washable waterproof pad and another disposable waterproof pad under the bottom sheet.

But it seems the problem - at least for my husband, was that the overnight disposable underwear wasn't capturing enough of the urine flow. We were using Tranquility, Depends, and other brands, sometimes even with an additional booster pad.

Only the Abena Abri-flex works for him................

Most mornings now the underwear is soaked completely........but the bed is not wet at all.

I really hope you all find something that works......this is such a frustrating problem...

Cheap will send a couple of free samples of this product to try out....

Good Luck

By dkleinert On 2013.01.25 18:53
Hi, I am "old" this great forum. I work so much and am total caregiver for my PD husband, that I rarely have time to write or "lurk". This forum SAVED MY LIFE when my husband was dx back 8 years ago. I know I would be in the insane asylum if it were not for some of you who are still here - you are so awesome. Came here this afternoon 'cause I was so fed up!!! Will post on a different topic about that.

However, will speak to the issue talked about here. My husband is incontinent also. His penis has retracted so much that he has a real problem aiming and hitting the commode to urinate. It took me months to convince him to use a urinal. Now he uses a urinal to urinate into and then dumps it in the toilet. That is as long as he makes it in time. So many times the urgency catches him by surprise, and he does not make it, then urine goes everywhere. I wash so many loads of wash!!!! I hate the smell of urine, and so have finally found something to eliminate it from his clothing, bedding, towels, bathroom rugs, etc. Go online and buy Eucalyptus globulus pure essential oil. I buy it by the 1,000m - 1 kilogram bottle. I use 2-3, 3ml droppersful in every washer load - it WORKS. The house smells like wonderful Eucalyptus and the odor is gone. Eucalyptus is a POWERFUL antibacterial, and antiseptic.

My PD husband wears the "depends" brand Wal-mart sells for men.

We recently found out about Men's Liberty. It is an external catheter system that really works!! It has an 8 oz. bag to wear during the day - does not use a condom. Look it up online. We are waiting until the first of the month to order the long leg men's jockie shorts because how it works is that the 8 oz. bag lays inside his leg, and the long legged shorts hold it snugly in place. He has the standard legged jockey shorts - about 4-6 inches long in the leg, and these are too short. The guy at Men's Liberty told us to order from Haines or Fruit of the Loom, the long legged underwear (not the cotton, loose ones, but the tight ones) so they will hug his leg and keep the bag in place so he can wear pants, etc. It has a stop-cock at the end so every couple of hours he can go to the toilet and empty the bag and then he is good for another couple to 3 hours, depending on how much he drinks. There is a larger bag for overnight. The Men's Liberty can stay on for overnight and up to 24 hours before changing it. It is pretty easy to use, and Medicare pays for it. So give it a try. The sales person who has been really helpful's name is Jonathan. He is a kind man on the phone, and very interested in helping you - he is also very good at patience and instruction. Here is the number: 800-373-7006. Hope it helps any of you with this issue!

By barb On 2013.01.26 07:30
I like the idea of a night time cathe but my dh wakes up and I'm afraid he'd forget about the bag.

By carman96 On 2013.01.26 19:46
I think my husband would pull the Catheter out. I also think if he tried to use a urinal he'd pee all over the place anyway. I will try everything probably.

By parkinit On 2013.01.30 02:39
DK - Thanks for the info. I'm going to try to oil. I checked out the web site, too. I guess when the external caths no longer work, we will try Liberty.

By kathie On 2013.03.21 11:36
I have been using products from National Incontinence. They are called Tranquility. They make a day time and overnight type of pull-ups- underpants which are more absorbent than depends. However, we are having a serious problem because he still has many leaks especially at night. I have pads and pads but the sheets and blankets still take a beating because he moves around a great deal and half the time sleeps on top of the blanket. Thanks for the advice about Abena Abri-Flex which I will try and find. It is so good not to be alone and to have folks who are going through a similar situation.

By jaxrock On 2013.03.21 15:03
Kathie, I think you'll find the Abena Abri-Flex an improvement over the other brands.. My husband wears them every night.........with another cloth absorbent brief over that.
I order his from the HDIS website.......they deliver quickly, too.

He also wears pj shorts over those two garments.

We occasionally have a wet bed on his side, but nothing like it used to be.

Good Luck! This is a really difficult problem, isn't it?

By McCall On 2013.03.22 10:40
What is the HDIS website?

By jaxrock On 2013.03.22 12:29

go to If you just google the name, it comes up.

It's a company which sells incontinence supplies and more.......I even found a barrier cream on their site that my husband is now using as well.

Home Delivery Incontinence Supplies is the name of the company. They're based in MO.

I wish you luck

By parkinit On 2013.03.22 20:56
I use the HDIS service, too. It's great to have them delivered to your door on a monthly basis and not have to go out shopping for them.

By Debw On 2013.04.08 10:49
Hello it's my first post.I found at our Family dollars store Men guards by depends(maximum absorbency) there not the whole pants.We use these and the underwear .when we go out shopping or to family outing.It makes it less protruding under his slacks. At night i use two guards and underwear.When we go for rides i take a urinal but i found using the blue bags you are given to be sick in at the hospital , they work even better then carrying the hard urinal . They fold up and you can carry them in your purse or coat pocket . Just toss after using . Also have Prevail Adult washcloths with lotion,(Dollar store ..$3.00 48 cloths) I have a tote bag made up that i keep in the trunk of the car.X-clothes,sock ,slip on tennis shoes ,trash bags...

By parkinit On 2013.04.10 22:36
Good ideas. Thanks for sharing.

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