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By justsad On 2013.05.29 20:26
My husband no longer goes to his office and now spends his days at home..boy is this a huge adjustment....he needs to get out of the house, but he will not go. I offer to take him places, even on errands with me, but he won't go. I wish he would and really believe he needs to get out of the house, it is not healthy to stay holed up inside and it puts too much pressure on me on top of everything else. But...he won't go. It makes the days very, very long and he looks to me to entertain him in conversation in between cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. and etc.

He follows me around the house and I don't know why. If I sit down for any reason, to pay the bills, fold the laundry, he comes over and sits, looking at me. I will ask him what he needs and he says nothing. When I am cooking a meal, he will follow me there too. I have even been followed into the bathroom! I feel like I am being stalked in my own house and I don't know what this means.

The other day I was trying to get some sleep in the afternoon because, hell, I don't get any at night, and he actually came over to me, shook me off the sofa, and said "are you napping? were you taking a nap?" I was so very angry at him I just picked myself off the floor and walked away. I was afraid to open my mouth.

Is he scared to be alone? Worried that he might lose me in the house or yard and not be able to find me later? I've not read about this before anywhere and am wondering if it's just some weird anamoly peculiar to us.

By parkinit On 2013.05.29 21:40
It could be he is afraid. There are many anxieties with the PWP. My spouse has many, yet he doesn't acknowledge that he even has one!! I can see the fear in his eyes, though.

Maybe you can show him how to play some games online or something that he will have to engage in without you. Have you thought about trying to divert him to something else? It does sound like he either simply doesn't know how to fill his time or is anxious about not losing sight of you.

When I told my spouse I just needed some time to myself a few days ago, he said, "I've left you alone from 8-10 a.m.!!" From 8-10 a.m., I helped him shower, helped him dress, fed him breakfast, followed him up and down the stairs as he tried to have a BM, helped him off the potty several times. Yep, I was not being bothered. What I do understand is that his perception is totally skewed and I have had to come to accept this. Delusional, yes.

By carman96 On 2013.05.30 06:49
Justsad...
My husband doesn't really follow me around but while I am running around doing things he just stares at me. It drives me crazy at dinner that I can't just relax and eat because he is staring at me. Besides that I have to cut his food etc.
When I am in the kitchen he waits until I have the water or the dishwater running to ask me some really dumb question or to remark about something on Tv.Or he needs something right now instead of waiting until I have the time. I have to stop what I am doing so I can figure out what he wants. I know he must feel bad that he has to be so dependent on me and I do think he kind of panics when he can't find me right away. It's hard sometimes to be patient with him.

By Imtired2 On 2013.05.30 10:15
Carman96,
I know what you mean. My brother does the same thing to me. I run a home business that requires me to be on the phone and the computer at least four hours a day. He sits in a recliner and sleeps while watching sports on TV all day. His pill organizer box is on a side table next to the recliner but he hollars for me to give him his pills because it hurts him to reach for them. He wants me to fetch a bottle of water because he can't get out of the chair. I get angry at that because I have seen him get out of the chair and get his own water if I don't respond in a timely manner. I keep telling him that he needs to get up and walk to keep up his strength. It seems to me that he has talked himself into being helpless and I feel taken advantage of. It is hard to be patient sometimes.
Dolly

By CHASE1028 On 2013.09.19 09:27
Wow ..this sounds so familiar . My Husband has PD and is exactly the same. My heart breaks for him and I do what I can to make him happy but it's a jugglE SOMETIMES because I also have my 80 year old Mom living here who has COPD.

By ysracer On 2013.09.19 16:41
I see this behavior also, and I think it is because they are afraid of what's coming. Maybe it a way to try to hold on and make some memories before they are not able to anymore.
If you knew you would be gradually wasting away, losing what you have of your life, you may want to try and stay close to the things that give you comfort for now. They may not be there for much longer.

At least that's how I see it.

By Marilyn-NJ On 2013.09.20 16:47
I think I can relate to each and every posting. No matter what the level of PD disability is, it's an automatic function for a spouse to rely on their "better healthy half" so to speak. We're doing so much and it's non stop that unless you're going through it you just can't imagine the heaviness of it all. I could never understand that why, with such soft spoken tones, he would wait until I turned on the sink to talk to me. I berate myself for my lack of patience but try to control my verbal responses at that moment.

There is such support here....I am grateful.


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