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Topic Feeding himself Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By carman96 On 2013.05.30 07:02
My hubby really freaked me out at dinner. All of a sudden he couldn't figure out how to use his fork. I asked what he was doing and he said it won't come apart. He was trying to take the fork apart! I told him it didn't come apart so I took it from him and showed him how to use it. Then I gave him a big spoon. He was kinda okay after that. How do you forget how to use a fork? He doesn't have a hard time swallowing yet but he sure has a hard time getting things to his mouth.

By parkinit On 2013.05.30 23:17
I've seen this with my spouse - not necessarily with a fork, though. The Lifeline he always wears around his neck was laying in his recliner yesterday. He picked it up, looked at it and asked me, "Is this yours?"

By Witsend On 2013.06.01 16:53
I'm so sorry - I remember how freaked out I was when he first started doing things like that. For some reason, mine can't cut meat anymore. It's as though he's forgotten how to get the knife to work. I always cut his meat, even at restaurants. This disease comes out in all sorts of weird ways.

By carman96 On 2013.06.02 08:13
Yeah I've been cutting his meat for awhile now. He tries but he can't seem to get it cut. So I usually cut it up in the kitchen before I serve him his plate. This was weird about the fork though. Why he thought the fork came apart is beyond me.
About the remote-- he tries to use the one on his lift chair to control the Tv sometimes. The sad part is he looks so confused about it. Other times though he will laugh at himself.

By lilflower On 2013.06.02 15:14
Yeah we have some confusion with utensils sometimes he'll look at his plate and ask what it is. I'll say dinner and he'll sit there with a puzzled look. I'll tell him to eat. He will hesitate watch me and then eat. He will also experience times of confusion when he has something in his hand and can't remember what it is or what to do with it. It's scary and sad and some times stressful but I keep praying.

By carman96 On 2013.06.03 09:20
Thanks for the replies. I helps to know I'm ņot the only one who is going through this. Of course I wish none of us had to.
We had turkeyburgers last night. He can't seem to hold onto sandwiches or tacos or such. He ends up trying to eat it with a fork which of course is a mess. Limits what he can order at a restaurant. Though we don't go out much.

By lilflower On 2013.06.03 11:05
My hubby gets a hold of a sandwich and his hand hold on so hard he squashes the sandwich . I don't think I would even attempt taco's.

By blue2 On 2013.06.03 12:42
My pwp often tries to pick up inedible things with his fork - napkin, placemat, etc. So sad to see him confused.

By parkinit On 2013.06.03 21:27
Awhile back, my PWP was trying to put line on the weed eater. He couldn't get the cap off, so he started trying to unscrew screws half way up the handle of the weed eater to put the line in.

These moments bring great sadness to my heart and make me long for what he was.

By lilflower On 2013.06.06 21:04
It is very sad and very scary to watch at times as he attempts to do simple things and can't. His emotions are also affected he cries at little things and then gets upset because he cried. He was always very stoic, the tough guy, heavy equipment mechanic, handy man fix anything in the house. Now he gets frustrated trying to unscrew a screw or tighten a knob. I'm just very glad I found friends here to share with who know and understand. I don't feel as alone as I once did.

By Betsey Clarke On 2013.06.06 22:58
I've just had time to read the posts from this forum, and i can see so much of my husband in these. He. too, has problems using his silverware... I cut his meat and try to cook tender things for him, or just let him eat with his fingers. I read him your posts out loud; I hope you all don't mind.. but it lets him know that he isn't alone, and that these problems exist with many people with Parkinsons. Lately, I've been trying to find respite care for myself, for a week or two, for lots of reasons, mainly some health related tests. The VA offers one week of free respite care for almost any veteran, he will be going to the nearest one the end of June, to let me have time to visit my family. That is great, so am looking forward to it! Because of his inability to move very well, he is getting pressure sores on his hind end. We have home health come in several times a week now, to put bandages on and make sure they aren't getting worse. It is exhausting for me.. I have to move him every 2-4 hours around the clock. So am not getting enough sleep. SOOO tired. Sorry, I am just rambling. I hope this is OK. I also was on hold for hours today with the VA, trying to figure out why we are paying co-pays again. Lots of you know about that, lol. Also, I called a local assisted living facility for respite care ideas, but they are saying that he is too disabled, since he needs a Hoyer to be moved. So I am bummed, there is only one skilled nursing facility in 20 miles.. I've called them, but they didn't return my call. So I guess I get to be on the phone again tomorrow. To all my friends out there, I pray too... it is the only thing that I can do now.

By jcoff012 On 2013.06.07 12:41
I was an activity director in an assisted living, so I contacted the RN with whom I am still friends...I read your problem to her...She suggested you call your local Council on Aging. If you don't get good ideas, call the assisted living back and ask for the director of nursing...Then, if that isn't giving you what you need, ask for the Manager/Owner...you may have to leave a message for a callback, but do it. She says that she hasn't met a manager who wouldn't assist anyone who needs help. I agree...I hadn't spoken with my old "boss" for five years, but asked for his help for a friend, and he called me back and gave me very useful information. Good luck.

By Betsey Clarke On 2013.06.07 22:02
Thank you for your help jcoff012. And for your friend's help, who suggested I call my Council on Aging. I talked to my Medicaid caseworker, who suggested we place my husband in a skilled nursing facility permanently, not just for a few weeks here or there, for my respite... I had emailed about my problems trying to find respite care, but with his current history of pressure wounds, and my having to turn or reposition him so often, and she ended up kind of putting words to my worst fears. Anyway, I have started the "conversation" with my PWP, my partner of 38 years, about his moving to a skilled nursing facility. His speech therapist showed up about 15 minutes later, when we were having our conversation, and he was a great, unexpected help with our trying to grasp the realities of Jim's illness. It is so nice to have other's input and sympathies! I think my husband is accepting this next phase to some degree, now that we are talking about it. There are some nicer facilities 20-50 miles away that I will be visiting. Thank you ALL for helping with my decisions, that really helped us!

By parkinit On 2013.06.07 23:17
I would like to add that we recently engaged hospice. As part of hospice, you get 5 days of respite every quarter as part of what is paid for by medicare. This is in a facility. My guy will not go into a facility, though.


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