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Topic he wants my bed Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By lurkingforacure On 2013.08.14 05:15
This is a new thing I have never read about having to deal with: my husband wants my bed (where I've been sleeping for a long time now)...it's a bunk bed in one of our kid's rooms and he says he likes pulling on the slats of the bottom of the top bunk to get out/off of the bottom bunk. I understand this, but the problem is that he is up all night and our kids would get no sleep (their rooms are next to each other so banging around in one room would wake up everyone in that room as well as the rooms next to it)...

I've told him he cannot sleep in any of our kid's rooms because he'll be waking them up all night, but that if he wants to sleep on the bottom of a bunk bed, we'll switch rooms and he can have his own bunk bed, but he doesn't want to do that.

What is frustrating is that just last year he was complaining about the bed in our master bedroom, so I did a ton of research and bought a very expensive, extremely firm/hard king size bed that he now is saying doesn't work and he wants the bottom bunk bed I am using in one of our children's rooms. Ugh.

With school starting we don't have the luxury of sleeping late if we are repeatedly woken up during the night, and yet I want him to be happy with his sleeping arrangements. I'm also concerned he really wants my bed because I'm in it and he's lonely, and if we rearrange our entire family's bedroom arrangements, in a month or two he will want something else. (see above about the new bed we just got!)

If we had an extra bedroom or even just an extra room, there'd be no problem, but we don't.

Has anyone dealt with this and what did you do to resolve it?

By Pearly4 On 2013.08.14 07:01
Been there, done that, and I can laugh now but wasn't laughing much then! My mother "needed" new sleeping arrangements about every 3 months for at least 2 years - we had at least 3 actual beds she rotated through. Sometimes she slept on the mattress on the floor, sometimes, box spring and mattress,sometimes the fully assembled bed, sometimes a very expensive adjustable bed with memory foam mattress, sometimes a twin bed, sometimes a full, or the couch, or a chair.

We tried braiding and tieing ropes to the frame for her to pull herself over, my husband built rails on boards to slip under the mattress to use as ways for her to move herself, others have rented or gotten lifts and pulleys to help.

Everything worked for a short time - nothing worked forever. Very frustrating for her and us -- I sleep very restlessly now myself (age, I think) and find myself looking for a "new" and "better" bed frequently!

I'm sorry I can't offer more -- but I understand needing to set limits.

By McCall On 2013.08.14 12:24
You could add one of those hanging bars from the ceiling over his bed as well as the grab bar the goes between the mattress at the side of the bed, assuming his main complaint is getting out of the bed more easily.

By daisy On 2013.08.14 13:09
This has also been a constant source of grief for us and also includes on going sleepless nights. We tried one of those "ladder" type things you attach to the bottom of the bed which was supposed to allow Dh to help pull himself upright in bed. He doesn't have the strength to use it. We don't bother with the bars for the same reason. We then tried a succession of different beds, including a double hospital bed that had all kinds of remote control functions. He had me dismantle this because he couldn't get comfortable in it. Every other night, he wants a different bed or maybe a comfortable armchair or recliner, sometimes more than one during the same night. At these times, he is convinced that the bed is the problem. I have had more furniture pass through our bedroom over the last year than any high street furniture shop.


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