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Topic When to stop driving?? Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By umajane On 2013.09.08 00:31
My DH is still driving around town. Tomorrow morning we are towing our trailer for a few days. Our grown kids want to drive us to our spot...we have agreed but do not know when to really stop driving.My husband seems to do fine but WHAT IF his reflexes are too slow.
It's a little scary but then to have him give it up prematurely and lose his independence..any ideas?

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.09.08 08:34
Hi, this is a touchy subject. there are a few threads on the forum about driving and when to stop. But I myself say when you, (either the patient, spouse or caregiver) start to question "What if?" it's time to stop. It's hard to stop to "give up independence" but to Me it would be harder if I killed someone because I wanted to keep my independence. Hope this helps. Take care, best of luck and hang in there

By Mary556 On 2013.09.08 12:10
Many years ago someone from my school was killed in a car crash. A person with epilepsy was driving the vehicle which hit her. I do not know all of the circumstances, but it may have been that his medication was not working right that day. He had a seizure and was not able to stop his car when he was supposed to stop. Certainly he did not intend for an accident to happen. If only he could go back and change his decision about driving, what would he do in retrospect?

The victim was driving down the street to visit her boyfriend at another campus five minutes away. A few months earlier she happily told of their engagement to be married; they were about to graduate from college soon. She was at a very happy time in her life.

I remember the sadness of all her friends, so many people grieving her loss. A teacher who was close to her had to go to the morgue to identify her body, then had to make a phone call to tell the girl's parents and family. That teacher was a close friend to me also. I remember sitting in her little office as she was preparing to travel to the funeral. Both of us were crying and she told me it was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life.

By carman96 On 2013.09.08 13:00
Seems like this question comes up a lot. It is one of the hardest things to go through. My husband had his license revoked over a year ago and still thinks he will get it back someday. I've had to hide the keys to everything. I always have to be the bad guy and tell him he can't drive anything, like the tractor or quadrunner.
Better than having him hurt himself or someone else.

By countingmom On 2013.09.08 16:50
My DH has only been only been dx with PD a couple of months now, but he had to give up driving before dx. One day while driving the lanes appeared to switch on him. He had to stop and calm himself down, then he preceded home and called me at work. After that he did not drive for along while (Dr had no answers) thought it was panic attack. When he decided to drive again we went together, I can tell you his reaction time is not good and judgement as to when to make turns absolutely scary! We have decided time not to drive for sure. It does change things, but I have never been a good passenger anyway so it works for me. He does not want to be the cause of any accident. Maybe you should check with your insurance co., they may not pay if he is in an accident due to him PD. Hope this helps some.

By daisy On 2013.09.08 17:35
I feel for you. It's a dilemma. My DH has still the sense to drive only when he feels well enough. But, to be honest. I wonder will he recognise when he is NOT well enough. He is fixated on being able to keep driving, to the point that he won't tell his DR's how he really is, in case they insist he stops driving. As far as he is concerned that would be the end of the road for him. (no pun intended)

To date, I have been really careful and do pretty much all the driving when we are together and as long as I don't insist, he's quite willing to let me. But I wonder how I am going to handle the day, when I have to say NO DRIVING to him.

By phoenix On 2013.09.13 22:42
I totally understand the dilemma. I was in the same position over a year ago when I should have been the bad guy and taken his keys away. I did get his doctor to send a report to the Transportation/licensing place. However, before they responded, he lost control of the car, hit two guard rails, narrowly missed a group of cyclists and totalled the car. Thank goodness noone was hurt and the police officer agreed to not press charges but immediately suspended his license. I shudder to think what could have happened and how terrible I would have felt, knowinghe shouldn't have been driving. He too thinks he will be getting his license back soon, and I am getting very creative at explaining why that's not happening "this week". Fortunately, my car has a push button start which he is unable to figure out, so although he sits behind the wheel in the garage for long periods of time, there is no danger of him actually starting. Anyway, as I've said on earlier posts, please, please, please, if you have doubts about his driving, find the courage to do something about it.

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