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Topic When is it ok to go over his head and phone the doctor yourself? Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jcoff012 On 2013.09.13 23:36
I do not want to overreact, but this happened today and he would not allow me to call in anyone...

He had an ortho visit for his braces, then drove home. Went outside to exercise with his weights (uses 3-5 pounds only outside), came back in to cool off, then we had our usual lunch, including WWs strawberry shortcake.

After lunch, it was quiet...too quiet...when I heard a faint, "Jane...Jane...I need you..." I ran to the bathroom, and he was sitting on the floor, completely soaked in sweat, shaking his head back and forth. I immediately got him some ice chips, a wet cloth and sat on the floor with him...I kept him talking, although he wasn't terribly lucid...after about ten minutes, he wanted to get up, so I put the toilet seat down and braced ourselves against it and the wall and walked him into the front room...Lowered the a/c and took off his tennis socks, which were soaked...turned on the overhead fan...and got him some of his green tea and a full bottle of water. He sat there until he cooled off, and I got him another washcloth full of ice. I kept him talking for another half hour, until his face had color and his lips were no longer white...He then fell asleep for an hour or so.

Watched him all afternoon, fed him a very light dinner and some crackers and now he seems to be fine...

My question, through all of this, he insisted I not call a doctor...*I* think because he was worried that something was wrong and he would be told "no trip" on Tuesday...

When is it ok to override a PWP's wishes? Should I have called in a doctor...remember, we really have no one here within a half hour's distance...

Several things enter into this...it was over 90 degrees when he was outside; he has been stressed over our son; his meds were doubled by the doctor here...this is the first full week of the doubled dose; he took a vicodin for his back pain...and, of course, we have Nigel's birthday tomorrow with people we do not know who aren't around PD; and of course, the trip on Tuesday is looming...

I feel I should have done more...any suggestions? Jane It is almost 9 and he seems fine...of course, I won't sleep tonight!

By olpilot On 2013.09.14 01:31
Would it make a difference if he didn't have pd? Your probably right about finding thdre maybe something wrong, biggest fear is its the heart, most likely just over heated and nothing more. I don't believe that in that situation pwp or .not the call should amy different. Over heating the body can do tremendous damage, and the person over heated is the last one equipped to make a decision that could be life or death

By Mary556 On 2013.09.14 08:48
Jane, I am not a medical person and should not venture a guess, but will just say that my father had an episode of dehydration last year that seems similar to me. My Dad had been sitting in a hot car without the windows open enough while my mother went into the store to do an errand. When they got back home, my father was dizzy and nauseous and could not get out of the car on his own. His speech was weak and slurry and he was beginning to lose consciousness. I heard him say "ambulance" and called one (with my Mom's second-opinion approval). We had a concern about his heart and did not want to take any chances. His Dx from the ER that day was dehydration. Later when I read about the worst-case consequences (when someone loses consciousness in that situation), I believe we made the right decision. It sounds like you had all the right instincts to take care of your husband yesterday. If he felt himself beginning to revive after you gave him water /ice and the other measures you did to help him, maybe it was the best thing that you stayed with him and kept him calm by not calling for reinforcements... if your assessment was that he was getting better. But as olpilot said, something like this can be life-and-death. You need to rely on your own best judgement.

Does your husband drink plenty of fluids before and after exercise? My sister recommends coconut water. We've been giving my Mom some every day. She will only drink 1/3 cup at a time, but it's better than nothing. My Dad prefers plain water.

Try to get some rest today, both of you. Do what you need to do to take good care of yourselves.

By jcoff012 On 2013.09.14 09:53
He seems weak today, but much better...Of course, I heard every movement last night...

Thank you for confirming what I was feeling..had he lost consciousness, I would not have hesitated...and, if it even remotely happens again, I WILL call in help....let him get mad, right?!

Hugs and love to you both for answering...It was definitely a teaching moment, because later in the day, we had a long talk about calling for help...Jane

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.09.14 13:31
Jane, I can't say what happened but all you mention is a prime soup for something to happen all the going's on the stress, the exercise in hot weather! When dizzy and incoherent was he still sweating? With severe dehydration we lose the ability to sweat (did you happen to remember the back of the hand pinch? It would have given a rough guide of dehydration). We can sweat trying to assimilate our medication and added to that stress, exercise in hot weather....well. As far as the trip goes He shouldn't be letting that sway seeing a doctor. I'd call His Doctor to let him know what occurred (what if it is something else and reoccurs during the trip. What if it is too sudden an increase of med's for his body to tolerate? Increases are usually given in increments not doubled. I'd run it by his Doctor before traveling, I know the trip is planned but so is the return trip planned. If it is nothing then no harm, if it is the medication by keeping on taking the dosage it is likely to reoccur, if something else is going on well to me it would be better not to go until things are right than coming back alone which could be a real possibility. I hope you can get this figured out my friend.

By jcoff012 On 2013.09.14 23:27
Al, thanks for weighing in...We sat down and talked about everything...I had him read my concerns and all of your wonderful responses...

He was sweating profusely the entire time he was on the bathroom floor, but not as much in the chair in the famiy room. He was babbling and fairly incoherent...Unbeknownst to me, he DID call the local doctor here after he was awake and moving...she didn't seem that concerned, he said...simply told him to be sure to stay hydrated and to stop doing the exercises outdoors in the high heat...told him he could stop the vicodin for a few days to see if that was the cause...However, I do not like ANY of his doctors, and now I am not sure about her, either...I am hanging in for UCSF....!

He ate breakfast today and had cake and pizza and fruit at Nigel's party and we DID NOT make the trip to Modesto, so that is allowing him to rest before the trip...

As for the increase in meds...he has been increasing the dosage for two weeks...it is only just this last week that the dosage became twice as much as in this last year...

Didn't check the back of his hand, no, but I watched him for clamminess, etc..

I am making sure he sleeps in today and rests tomorrow...I told him *I* was tired and needed to sit and figure what clothes to take, so he agreed to do the same (we are packing lightly)...I also did one of the bravest things I have done so far...

I sat down last night and wrote and sent a two page note to his brothers and sisters and TOLD them about the meds increase, this "spell", his concerns about overdoing with them asking all the relatives to come over that first evening, etc...Did some good...It was a group email, so they had the chance to express how they felt...To a person, they agreed that 1-they would go slowly with their plans...we are NOT going to the beach house until Thursday, and perhaps not til Friday now..2-they will keep him company so that his one sister whom I dearly love and I can have alone time (she is also a survivor), and most importantly, the first night we are there, we will all buy bbq and have a buffet so NO ONE cooks, etc...then each person will take two meals to prepare at the beach...and our part will be to order delivery or eat out, so neither he nor I cook! THAT alone will make the trip more bearable and actually, relaxing...

So, I know I feel about 500 times better about the trip, as long as he feels well...He has the NEED to see his brothers and sisters while he can and wants to visit his Mom and Dad's grave sites...I cannot fault him for that. Hugs and love, Jane

As always, thank you to any and all of you for your concern and comments..it means a great deal that you are out there listening...and helping...Love!

PS Nigel had a GREAT fourth birthday!

By carman96 On 2013.09.15 23:55
Glad Nigel had a good birthday!

By jcoff012 On 2013.09.16 14:21
They are finally realizing the reality of it all! One brother wrote and said we would "wait and see how he feels" before making plans and one sister CALLED a few minutes ago to say...His HEALTH is the most important thing to all of us! YEAAAA!!! Keep it up, Lovely Family!

All packed, boarding passes printed, taking it easy...except...we DID go out to get a powerball ticket! lolol

Hugs and thanks for the encouragement and good thoughts, love to all, Jane

By Mary556 On 2013.09.16 18:01
Lohengr1n, someday if you have a chance, please would you explain how to do the pinch test for dehydration?

Jane, hoping you and your dear husband will have a wonderful visit with his sibs. That's great that you advocated for him and now the family is more understanding of his needs. It is a blessing to have everyone together.
(p.s. my Mom is a 20-year survivor)

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.09.16 18:53
Mary, Sure it's easy, hold one hand flat out in front of you take your other hand and pinch the skin on the back of the hand that's flat (you don't pinch hard) and it let go and it should snap back flat if you're hydrated, the slower it returns to flat the more dehydrated the person is. It's a good idea to try this a couple of times so you'll know what is "normal" for the person then you'll be able to tell if it is taking a little longer or a lot longer to return to flat and if They're starting to become dehydrated. It's a quick, easy, rough guide to help you tell. Take care, best of luck and hang in there

By carman96 On 2013.09.16 21:54
Hope you have a great trip!

By Mary556 On 2013.09.17 07:18
thanks very much Lohengr1n!

By parkinit On 2013.09.18 20:45
Jane - it sounds like you and your DH are on the same page now. I've been thru many re visits with my DH.

I go thru a battery of items so I'm prepared to immediately share with medical personnel. Maybe this will help you as we'll in the future.

1. Take BP
2. take temp
3. Check oxygen level.

This may give medical personnel an inroad to a solution.

Best wishes to you. Glad he is feeling better.


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