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Topic The DREADED Driving Discussion has begun Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By makrivah On 2013.10.04 09:56
Just a loud whine. I've read earlier posts. As ya'll know, this is difficult to say the least. Just letting off steam in the internet ether... the primordial silent scream.

By jcoff012 On 2013.10.04 10:37
Hang tough...haven't had to do it, yet...He SAYS he will stop when he knows he should...we'll see...I wish you well and hope it works out for both of you. Hugs virtually, Jane

By makrivah On 2013.10.04 10:41
Thanks Jane. I've enlisted daughters, sons-in law, brother and sister-in-law plus his neurologist and physiatrist in helping him see what's up. He has agreed to take a drivers evaluation through his neuro's occupation therapy group... which is entirely separate from DMV. That takes "us" out of the loop. If he does ok, then we shut up. If he doesn't, end of discussion. sigh.

I hate this disease. but wait. somebody has already said that.

By carman96 On 2013.10.04 21:54
I feel for you. After more than a year of not having a license my husband still thinks he's going to get it back someday and once in awhile he wants to go to the DMV. He gets mad because I have hidden the keys to everything. Trucks, ATV, tractor. He still thinks he can drive sometime. I hate being the police but I have to.
My husband took the written test three times and failed so that's why they suspended his license. I was so relieved because I was really worried about his driving. So it was for the best.
Good luck and hang in there.

By jcoff012 On 2013.10.05 00:23
Try relating this to him...My mother does not have PD, but she is now 94 and drove until three years ago! To be honest, *I* wouldn't get into a car with her 7 years ago, but she refused to quit driving...UNTIL...

One day, she drove out of the parking lot of a store and drove into traffic, through a four way stop, and wound up in the middle of a field of beans! Why? Well, to this day, she doesn't remember getting into the car, driving, or the worst...doesn't remember stopping! Luckily, no one was hurt, not even her, but the police took her license away FINALLY...

So, if it is any consolation, hang in there...this is a cautionary tale, as mom doesn't have PD, but we all told her to stop driving at her age and limited eyesight, etc...I called her doctors and tried for years to get someone to listen to me and help me to get her to stop...to no avail...

I hope it doesn't take our husbands having an accident to get them to stop driving when the time comes.

By olpilot On 2013.10.06 00:33
This was a.big one for me, I am the pwp and it took a real scare to quit. My reaction time, and just ability to.judge have both been impaired enough that i began fearing hurting others. Now adding to it I have sleep attacks, I can't drive, I wont hurt some one else.

There are times when the burden is more on my wife than me, no.doubt, but she is as afraid of the consequences as I am. Try to appeal to the part of your pwp that doesn't want to hurt an innocent victum. Remind them of the side effects of the drugs and the.real possibility that if they hurt some one they , are driving under the influence of some pretty powerful drugs, whether legal or not, they do effect how they perceive the world around them. When Iwent.from flying to truck driving I made ba promise to myself never to cause one or more of those little white crosses.on the side of the road. The same is true now. I don't know how I could handle having hurt or worse some one because my ego kept me driving when.I knew or was told I should quit.
Good.net luck

By jaxrock On 2013.10.06 10:01
May I add a "selfish" point of view on this topic?

I've had to hide the car keys from my husband "just in case"

Taking away his driving privileges was so hard....BUT, not only fearing that he would hurt himself and probably an innocent victim of his poor driving, there is this:

Lawsuits..........I appealed to his sense of rationalization - all his meds have warnings on them, his docs (and friends and family) know he can't drive, so wouldn't that open up a possiblity of a lawsuit IF he hit and hurt someone - or even someone's property? Then what? Lose everything he has worked so hard for all of his life? Not to mention the agony of knowing he was at fault? As a former police officer as well as an Insurance marketer, he knows very well the dangers and the ramifications of impaired driving....

That's all..........hope it helps

By chroop67 On 2013.10.06 13:36
If you are talking about this then your lived one shouldnt be driving. It's simple, the aggravation and/or fights that you have to endure are far less a sacrifice than someone else who may lose their life. Driving is not a right it's a priveledge and a huge responsibility. We took dads keys and disabled his car so he could not drive and yes he was livid but if we knowingly let him drive while fully aware of the danger he is on the road it means that you are not only legally responsible but morally. It's tough but necessary!

By parkinit On 2013.10.06 18:17
To drive this a bit closer to home, if you know your loved one shouldn't be driving and you allow him to drive, with all the warnings on the meds, etc., YOU may be liable for allowing him/her to drive. Think about that, caregivers.

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.10.06 18:58
Yes as has been said here above We patients are under the influence of some pretty heavy medication and while it is legal to take our prescription medication that doesn't make it legal to drive under the influence of this medication. And as chroop said if you're asking? Then it is time to stop! Lets face it the driving is already affected to the point you know it should be stopped, it scares you or concerns you. If you worry about the Patients ability to come and go (mobility) and lost sense of freedom how would You feel if because you didn't stop the driving they crippled or killed your child or grandchild? Or your neighbors? Sound cruel and heartless? It's just a matter of time before it becomes a reality!

If you need to refer to a post back awhile I posted about a Woman in her fiftys in Upstete New York who took a quick run to the neighborhood store. She has PD on her way she jumped a curb ran into a tour group standing on the sidewalk outside a church killing three Women in the group! Because She didn't want to or think she needed to quit driving and it was only down the street and back. Three Women died leaving grieving families and friends to morn Thier loss.


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