For those who care for someone with Parkinson's disease
[Home] [Forum] [Help] [Search] [Register] [Login] [Donate]
You are not logged in


Topic Anger issues Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By Cheryl525 On 2013.10.15 23:23
My husband was officially diagnosed with PD almost four years ago. He had the DBS surgery almost two years ago and had a miraculous result. His tremors are almost gone but he still suffers from slow movement and pain. His neurosurgeon says he has never had such great results. However, I feel his worst symptom is his impatience and anger. He no longer drives and when he actually gets out of the house he screams at other drivers. If he is watching any sports game on tv he gets angry at the least thing and screams at the announcer, players, and sometimes me. I have been very verbal about this not being acceptable to me. He gets mad and clams up like a two year old. I have gotten to the point that I really do not care if he is upset as long as he is quiet.
Since his DBS his neurologist is mystified because my husband can not take any meds now without being basically overdosed. When we go for a visit I try to talk to his doctor about all this but he basically blows me off and says this new med he is going to give him will help and leaves the room within three minutes and never answers my questions. The new meds never help because no one will listen to me--the one person who knows him most!!! I am at my wits end with his doctor. It is a two hour trip to the doctor and two hours back. I am still working (because someone has to work in this family to pay the bills and the insurance) so I have to miss work once every three months to pay a doctor to do absolutely nothing but make my husband a guinea pig.
What I really want to know is if anyone else is dealing with anger issues with their PD partner? If so, what has your neurologist done about it? I have been able to handle most of this with my head held high but the anger and cursing are not acceptable.
Thanks for any input you have,

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.10.16 00:15
Cheryl, Hi and welcome to the forum. My first impression from your post is the Neurosurgeon will be mostly interested in the surgery meaning how well the operation worked on the symptoms of Parkinson's Disease. The mechanics of movement and calming tremor. Depending on the area the electrodes are placed and the amount of the electrical charge doing the stimulation it may have effect on behavioral issues. If you can get either Doctors ear for a minute try suggesting reducing the charge. There will be a trade off with this though...He will have more tremor and slow movement. You can suggest trying it for a short time just to see if these issues of behavior ease up, they can always turn it back up if it need be. From the Surgeon's point of view I can see why he might tend to not listen too much as He's touting this a one of the best results. From caregiver and patient point of view well sad to say He doesn't have to live with it.

Is the Neurologist a movement disorder? Many times they pay more attention to movement and less to our other problems caused by disease or medication/procedures. Again welcome to the forum! you've found a hreat place filled with wonderful people Who do care and will help any way they can. Take care, best of luck and hang in there

By jcoff012 On 2013.10.16 10:46
It is extremely interesting to me to see the rate of progression in PD patients. My husband was dx with PD four years ago, too, but is very high functioning. He has bad tremors, though. He also has a TERRIBLE neurologist. I am glad that we are in the midst of getting a new one, but like you, it is a two hour trip to UCSF...one way. We are retired, so we will make it work. All we need is the call that a time and date are available, and we will go...immediately!

There are several here whose PWP have had DBS who will offer advice. There are several PWP, like Lohengrin (Al) who will offer advice. Take what works for you and yours, but whatever works, I wish you both well.

My main problem with the changes to my husband are with personality, too. He, too, is far more short tempered and angers very easily. NOT like him at all.Yesterday, he actually was very short tempered in the car with our four year old grandson, the light of his life. My daughter looked stunned...I wrote her a note last night to say, "Sorry, but that is my life with Dad now. It is unpredictable and hurtful, but it's the PD, not him."

I wish you the best. Come back often. As I said, others will come on soon to offer advice. Good luck, hugs, and aloha..we live tomorrow for our first trip back to Maui since his dx...something we used to do every year...hopefully, not our last. Jane

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.10.16 19:14
Jane with the dining event you just recently had that upset both you and your Husband and His being high functioning it must be hitting Him hard. I'm not saying this as any excuse for snapping at loved ones by any stretch of the imagination but in P.D. we have a continuous decline and with each noticeable loss We again revisit the grieving process or stages of grief. One of which is anger. We're angry and frustrated because what we just kind of sort of got a little used to changes again. It takes time to learn, to teach ourselves to stop and access what we're mad at and patience to not lash out at the first thing that sets off our pent up anger. As I have said before it is a good thing to read and learn the steps in grieving because with Parkinson's we are constantly revisiting it all the time as our disease progresses. Hopefully this will help deal with what is going on if You both understand where to anger is coming from for You to reassure it isn't You or Family and for Him to understand it has a lot to do with the effects of the disease and it's not pestering of a child or nagging by a loved one ;)

Cheryl, This might also have something to do with Your Husbands actions also His frustration of having Parkinson's and what this disease is doing to him translates to anger issues. Maybe if He reads the steps of grieving it will help him understand these feeling and that they are natural feelings We have. (keep the steps handy because as time goes on and We progress we all go through them again and again.) I hope it helps him find a little peace with himself and for You. Take care, best of luck and hang in there

from the movie Tombstone;
Doc Holliday: What did you ever want?
Wyatt Earp: Just to live a normal life.
Doc Holliday: There's no normal life, Wyatt, it's just life. Get on with it.

By carman96 On 2013.10.17 21:33
My husband gets frustrated and angry occasionally and yells at me. Usually when I am telling him he can't do something dangerous, like drive the tractor, and I won't let him have the keys. The thing that bothers me is I can't reason with him when he gets like that.
That being said, everyone gets angry once in awhile. It's not like he never got mad before PD.

By olpilot On 2013.10.17 23:29
Sometimes I get mad about something and will yell at my wife, and as the words are coming out of my mouth I'm thinking "what in the hell are you saying, and why are you saying that". I say things that I know are BS, but the part of my brain that should say stop just waits to see whats gonna happen. To say why I do that, I can't. I just know that sometimes I react completely appropriately. At least before Parkinson's I had an idea why I was mad.

By Threadhead On 2013.10.18 08:23
It seems to me that increased anger (and depression)are related to decreased levels of our friend dopamine in the brain. A high level of dopamine can trigger seeking goals and rewards--food, sex, money--that we often see as side effects of PD treatment, particularly the dopamine agonists, but also plain old Sinemet. This is also present in addictions in the non-PD population. Conversely, it makes sense that lower dopamine will manifest itself as irritability, anger and depression.

My husband, formerly the most patient person on Earth, has flashes of temper now, too. So Cheryl, you're not alone here. And you're unfortunately not alone in being ignored by the neurologist. There are Neuros out there, though, who will listen and welcome your observations, but changing doctors can difficult at the very least. As LOHENGR1N said, a movement disorder center is the ideal. (We drive 3 hours to get to ours.) I'm so sorry you're going through this.

By dans316 On 2013.10.18 14:03
This disease certainly has no "one size fit's all" characteristics. The only medicines my wife's taken so far are Sinement and now she is on Amantadine and in spite of being almost totally confined to a wheel chair, she's never shown any anger or at least I'd be hard pressed to think of any time she's been angry, even though I probably give her reason to be.

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.10.18 16:09
Threadhead, you misunderstood me, I referenced a movement disorder specialist because at times they are most concerned with movement and which drugs effect movement. I my experience MDS's are less likely to listen to or give notice to other effects of the medication. After all they specialize in movement and not anger or compulsion issues, it isn't their specialty. So in my post as with the Surgeon the MDS would be less likely to be listening to anger complaints. Ideally a Neurologist who deals with not only movement but with the whole patient an all the aspects of the Disease and the medical side-effects of said disease (both psychical and psychological) movement and behavioral Who will listen to complaints and discuss options with you.

By Threadhead On 2013.10.19 07:45
Yep, I did misunderstand you. Our Neuro at the Movement Disorder center does in fact ask about my husband's emotional state, and anything else going with his life. We have also seen other doctors there, and physican assistants, DBS programming techs and nurse practitioners, and they all do the same. I assumed it was the norm, not an anomaly. We are lucky one more time.

By ResistanceFutil On 2013.12.03 14:13
Cheryl - just read your post today. May I suggest recording the next outburst for your husband's doctor's review? Many phones have a recorder built in, so if you have one, that would be easy enough. I would tell your husband you have made the recording and for what purpose. He may want to listen as well. Concrete proof of what you want the doctor to understand may be your only choice. And there is always the possibility that not much can be done, but at least the doctor will know the situation. It might be best to let your husband know in advance of your plan, letting him know this may be your best shot of getting him relief for his hostility.


© 2003-2017 MyParkinsons.org · Privacy Policy & Terms of Use
Published by jAess Media. This website and Forum is sponsorsed by people like you