For those who care for someone with Parkinson's disease
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By ann256nh On 2013.11.14 14:23
Hi Everyone-This is my first time on the forums-decided going it alone on this journey probably wasn't a good choice. My husband was diagnosed about 2 years ago with a tremor in his right hand. Things have definitely progressed but I would say rather slowly-he's hard to understand when he talk's alot now, much slower than he used to be and has a hard time using his hands sometimes. He is still working a job with long hours and stress and I'm trying to talk him into selling our house so that he won't have the mortgage to worry about and maybe work for himself. Is being stubborn a major symptom of PD? But he always has been so I'm not sure.:) Well anyway thats where I'm at. He has been taking Azilect and is nervous about progressing to other meds but I think maybe it's time. Does anyone have thoughts about this? Thanks so much in advance. My husband is 60 yr old.

By jcoff012 On 2013.11.14 17:24

My husband is 65 and has been dx with PD for four years, but his Mom had it for over 22 years.

I HAVE to laugh, sorry...I have asked this question SOOO many times! As far as I can tell, PD makes the person with it stubborn and, well, pardon me Al and others, downright mean-tempered at times!

Case in point...we have been looking for a new car for over a week...I found four that are GREAT; he has found fault with ALL of them. He is being almost a jerk about it all, so much that I am not even interested in getting the car now. (My car is over 7 years old, 108, 000 miles on it, has a rattle, and, well, it IS seven years old!)...But, he seems to find fault with EVERY car...and the one I love, in particular. He even invited our SIL to go looking on the fourth day, but since our SIL actually likes the one *I* did, it kind of backfired on him...My husband told the salesman we would get the car on Friday, but right now, his stubbornness and subsequent "quiet" attitude this week has ruined it for me...his pouting and stubborn "it isn't the one *I* would pick" attitude is hard to take.

Such is life...95 percent of the time, my husband is kind, loving, and I love being around him...but, that other 5 percent is bad enough to ruin one's day! lol

I hope you find what you need here. Most of us are just trying to get through this life as happily and peacefully as we can.

In the scheme of things, daily problems seem overwhelming until you step back and realize that someday, a fight over a car will seem like a waste of time and effort...and trivial!

Good luck to you...others will be along to let you know you are NOT alone. Again, welcome! Jane

By ann256nh On 2013.11.14 20:37
Thanks for the reply Jane! I actually have already learned so much in going thru some posts in these forums about how behavior can change with this disease. I have often been so angry thinking my husband's negativity was aimed at me but I see that oftentimes this behavior is very much a byproduct of PD. I have to be more patient-even though it's hard at times! Your car shopping story is so funny(although I'm sure not from you're point of view). About the only ideas my husband is happy with these days are his own!
I do try to focus on the positive, my husband is still in the beginning stages and working in a nursing home I see how difficult life is for families that have loved ones who are very ill. Thanks so much for your welcoming reply Ann

By umajane On 2013.11.14 23:21
Welcome Ann....I also have recently found this forum and find it extremely interesting and helpful. Usually after I read a few posts I calm down. When my husband focuses on something..oh boy watch out. Simple things like something not working properly or a light bulb out.
I just let him figure it out on his own terms. Sometimes I just leave and take a walk as I am not the most patient person sometimes. My husband is 73 and was diagnosed about 3 years ago. He started with Azilect on carbidopa-levodopa and a few others. Our neurologist is at The Parkinson's Institute in Sunnyvale, Ca. Good luck with your journey..... Jane (another Jane)

By olpilot On 2013.11.15 01:36
I have to interject here, Parkinson's has not made me more stubborn, the fact that things don't work as they shouldTimest is what makes me stubborn. There was a time when I could fix most anything, now nothing is fixable with out s technician. Remember when you could listen to an engine and know if it was ok? Now some pimple faced kid comes out with a box, plugs it Into something on your car you didn't even know.existed and tells you your gas cap.was loose. I think it is a part of things changing so fast we,anyone can't keep up. I struggle to do the things I do now, much less the things I used to do. There was a time when I thought some thing it was like gospel, now it is just background noise. I am about the same age as your husbands, I remember when it was my opinion that made such decisions. Now with all of the things lost with Parkinson's trying to hold on to foolish little things may be.....annoying, but little things are all that are left.

I know we can be a pain, I honestly don't believethat any of us do Iit on purpose, I think it is just trying to hold on to s small part of what we thought we were. Just still wanting to be the man in a world where so much is changing, and the Influence we once had is maybe not as valuable as it once was.

Or maybe we just want to be a pain.....8)

One other thing that I thought of, is sometimes I get praised for something I've done or made. Just like at others times I get kind of sluffed off or ignored for what I have to say or think. I can't help but wonder, is it me, or is it Parkinson's, I am not the only one in the house who suffers from this disease.

By parkinit On 2013.11.15 22:11
Welcome, Ann -

We hope you will find this board supportive, compassionate and most of all - helpful.

By Lynnie2 On 2013.11.16 13:58
My husband is also 65 years old and diagnosed 6 years ago. I'd say he was stubborn when I think he should be doing things to help himself such as trying to improve his speech. He has problems finding words and when trying to explain things, he goes blank so often. Now he doesn't join in conversations when we have company or in a group. He'll say the odd thing but doesn't tell a joke or story anymore. His voice is also softer. I've told him to read out loud to get his vocal working better, but he hasn't. I give up on that now.
Recently, if you look at the Driving Assessment post, he has lost his license. He didn't pass the assessment this week, so that's hard on him.
I know you will find this group very supportive because we are all going through the same journey with our husbands and have to keep strong.
We know the future won't be the best but we can't think about it right now.
We moved from the farm 3 years ago, before he got worse, so we are enjoying town life now. My sister is much older than me and she and her husband have health problems but she can't see moving to a senior residence but she'll have to some day. I am just glad we made the move to a smaller place, not a residence, but something more manageable.
Take care and just know you aren't alone.........and if we can help, just post your problems and I am sure someone can give you some advice.

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