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Topic Problems with watching TV or movies Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By VioletV On 2013.11.18 10:44
Hello all,
Here's a situation that I can't quite figure out. My husband has been, lately, uncomfortable watching TV or movies on our not-terribly-large TV. He says that he feels drawn in to the world of the movie to the extent that he can't pull him self out of it when the TV is off. I have tried watching a movie on the tiny iPhone screen, and this isn't much better for him.

I am having trouble just understanding this. And, it's really frustrating because it means we can't watch any movies (and I love old movies) or TV, and when he doesn't feel up to reading, he is at loose ends when I am not with him. He wants to support my writing (I have 2 books in-progress) but it's hard to write when I'm also holding a conversation with him.

Partly it's clear that I have to adjust, and to be able to do research and writing in tiny bits, but I wish I could figure out how to help him enjoy a bit of individual down-time.

I don't know if I want help or ideas, or if I'm just complaining.

VV

By carman96 On 2013.11.18 22:29
Violet, my husband doesn't do much besides watch tv. He can't really follow the plot of movies, so he mostly watches the history channel and things like that.
Wish he did have more to keep him occupied, but he doesn't use the computer, reading and playing cards are no good because he can't concentrate long enough. It's difficult to deal with for sure. I have a tv in the bedroom if I want to watch something different, or I read or play games on my kindle while he he is watching something.
Sounds pretty ambitious to be writing two books! Good luck to you.

By mylove On 2013.11.18 23:41
Violet, no suggestions but just to chime in. I have a couple of works in progress going right now as well, and am having the same challenges trying to juggle concentration. It's hard, isn't it? Which is the priority at each moment?

By lurkingforacure On 2013.11.19 09:04
I find this situation so interesting, because there are PWP out there who throw themselves into a hobby like woodworking of all things, and their caregiver can get a break during that time. Then you have the other side, where the PWP can but for some reason won't find something to do, instead relying on the caregiver to keep them busy and "entertain" them. It's a hard situation and I wish I could find something my hubby was interested in, I know he is bored because he will ask me "what can I do?" and everything I suggest is rejected. Granted, I suggest things like how about helping me with the laundry, or vaccum, play with the kids, etc., which are probably not things on his bucket list!

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.11.21 14:41
Violet, Sorry I didn't answer this sooner (been having some issues myself lately). Sounds to me like this could possibly be medicine related. I'd suggest contacting His Neurologist. Many times with our medications adjustments have to be made. The underlying disease progressing, the fluctuating levels of chemicals in our brains and our bodies own trying to regulate these levels can add up to at times alarming results. Saying he feels pulled into the movies to the extent he can't pull himself out even when the TV is turned off points to having trouble separating the real from the televised or even read in our mind a form of delusional thinking. This state is usually caused by medication and side-effect of some medicines. If such is the case it makes sense to not want to be left alone if he is having trouble separating imagination from real he trusts you for separating them and giving him some sense of what's happening. Run it by the Doctor, a simple adjustment might be all that is needed. Hope this helps. Take care, best of luck and hang in there

By Mary556 On 2013.11.21 22:45
Violet, in case this may be similar to your husband's situation... My aunt (non-PWP) has experienced a sort of delerium when she has an infection and takes certain medications. During one episode she believed that X-files characters had entered her house through a television and that someone with a gun was in her cellar. It was so vivid to my aunt that she called the police. When she was off the med, my Aunt did not have those types of thoughts at all.

A few months ago I downloaded an audiobook (Anne of Green Gables) for my PWP mother. One day Mom fell asleep while listening, then woke up as if she was in a bad dream, very upset and crying. She said she had lost the brooch and was not allowed to go to the picnic. In her confusion Mom believed that she was a character in the book. It was too real for her.

Does your husband like music? My Mom listens to a favorite album on iPod when she is anxious. The gentle music always calms her and often puts her to sleep.

By dans316 On 2013.11.22 10:16
Mary,

Falling asleep while listening to the radio and then dreaming about it is not limited to PWP. I often listen to Jack Benny shows when I can't sleep in the early am and sometimes have the weirdest dreams about some of the events in the shows. Apparently the mind can still process things it hears even though one is asleep, although not always rationally.

Dan

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.11.23 00:32
Dan, There have been many studies done throughout the years on the brain at sleep. The consensus is that the brain/mind needs stimulation throughout the night, that is why we dream everyone replays the events of the day or whatever all night long but rarely do we remember it. So it makes sense to awaken and have dreamt of a background movie or music that plays while asleep. In sensory depravation experiments people will hallucinate because the brain robbed of stimulation will start to make up things for it's own stimulation

By dans316 On 2013.11.23 14:49
Thanks Al,

I always thought that the senses shut down during sleep but obviously that is not the case.

By olpilot On 2013.11.27 02:07
Lurking

Woodworking is not such a bad thing, it helped me tremendously. I've talked about it several times, it keeps my mind working, and allows my wife time to watch her Hallmark tv shows. In fact I've turned it into a second career of sorts. I am much slower than Iwas even a year ago, but I get orders and repeat customers. Quite an accomplishment for a new,work at home career, and it really helps me forget for a time what is happening to me. Anything one can do to escape from Parkinson's, even for a few minutes is a.gift from God. Someday I won't be able to do this and it will be a distant memory like flying has become, until then I'll keep working away.

In fact I'm just getting a web site going, not well yet but working on it, it's

Stevessawdustfactory.com

See what a parkie can do.
Happy thanksgiving to all.

By jcoff012 On 2013.11.27 09:18
Steve, just spent some time on your website...beautiful work...I will show Carl, as he is a carpenter, too...he is currently making two nautilus wallhangings for his sister's beach house in North Carolina. Ben, Michelle's (MyLove)'s husband is a woodworker, too...small PD world....Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, too. Thank you for sharing. Jane

By mylove On 2013.11.27 09:21
Steve, that's fabulous! Ben is doing well with his, too, and really enjoying his time. In fact, yesterday an art gallery picked up a bunch of his pieces to feature, and put in a standing order to keep them replenished! I'm so proud of him. And of you! You guys do amazing things.

Sometimes I think that the enforced slow-and-steady really contributes to the hobbies like woodworking. There's a dual benefit - the practice of precision and problem solving keeps dexterity and cognition well-oiled, and the meticulousness and focus of the Parky personality are also traits of the successful artist/craftsman.

I would encourage anyone who can do a hobby to do it. It doesn't have to be woodworking. I think that perhaps that hobby tends to come to the forefront because we primarily talk about men in here. We have another friend who restores cars and firearms...another very 'male' hobby. I know others may be at different stages, so it's different for everyone, but while Ben was ready to retire, he wasn't ready to sit and stare at the tv for hours. Woodworking gives him the option of working and being productive in small and manageable bites punctuated with lots of rest - something that his job was not able to do.

By VioletV On 2013.11.27 22:48
Thanks for the conversation on this issue. It has really helped me to gain perspective on my husband's difficulty with any screen-viewing.

And as for woodworking, our house has dining room chairs, tables and other furniture that my PWP husband made. He now cannot really do much of the fine woodworking he did before, but this thread has given me the incentive to ask his "help" with a very simple woodworking project that I've wanted to do. With any luck he'll take over the parts that he can do--sanding,maybe very simple cuts, with help. I think it would be a relief to him to have something that he CAN do, since when he's tired and tremoring he can't really even feed himself.

It's just so bloody hard for him.


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