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Topic your real friends Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By Dixie74 On 2014.04.24 09:46
I am learning who are my real friends after many years. I had always heard that times like this is when real friends are sorted out. Every where I go people ask me how my husband is "doing" constantly. Since the DBS surgery they expect me to say "wonderful". I have noticed that the ones that I thought I could count on are turning away. Thank goodness there is a short list that I know or think I know that I can talk to. I try to give a short answer and yet they really don't even want that. I read the caregiving wife book and her advise is good. It just surprises me that these old friends act like they don't want to talk to me. I had thought true long time friends would not turn away if I told them more. I guess I have to learn to keep it to my self about my concerns , even our three kids don't want to hear. Guess this says I come off complaining to people. I am confused because I was there through thick and thin for these friends.

By Rempt2 On 2014.04.24 13:22
I have had some experiences with "friends" who moved away and now contact by email. We were fine when we talked about trips we were planning but no contact since they heard my husband has advanced PD. I think they are afraid and feel it could happen to them even though PD isn't contagious.

By jcoff012 On 2014.04.24 18:00
When a chronic illness or sudden death enter into our lives, a great many "friends" stay for a bit, then move away *if only in spirit*. It is sad, but it is a reality. A very simple explanation is that it is painful for them to watch your life change when they cannot help. Also, you are a constant reminder to them that this could happen to them, so it is simpler to move out of your life.

A true friend is one who will be there if you call and ask for help...even if just to chat for a minute...A true friend will pick up where you left off, even after years apart. A true friend simply is that...true...to you and to your spouse.

After my husband's retirement and dx, we moved away from our friends and most of our family. We have made new friends; however, we do not regularly socialize and no longer host big parties...it isn't part of our lives any longer...

However, we both know that we have a handful of friends who would come to us if we needed them. We have friends we would drop everything for us, too...far fewer than before, but they are there. As for the others, we still send them a Christmas card, but even those are lesser in number.

We love each other, count on each other, and know that this is our life now...and we accept it.

Hugs, hold your head up and YOU be a good friend...give them a call...they may really NOT know how you feel or what you need...If that gives you no support, cut your losses and move on...life is too short...You are strong. You will make. it. Hugs. Jane

By Lynnie2 On 2014.04.25 11:28
I know for me it is harder to socialize or make new friends because my husband doesn't really add to the conversations that much.
We have several friends we get together with and go out for dinner and play cards. My husband is getting slower playing cards, but they are patient.
We also moved from the country to town and made new friends with the neighbors. We don't play cards with them, but one lady is very close and I am able to talk to her about things. She lost her husband 3 years ago, so she is alone.
I would like to go to the Senior's Centre but I know my husband wouldn't go, but I keep busy enough. Maybe someday I'll go......


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