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Topic Taking shoes and clothes on and off Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By carman96 On 2014.04.27 13:45
Around the time I'm trying to cook dinner my husband decides to take his shoes off. No big deal, I help him put his slippers on. Within a few minutes he is taking his slippers off and wants to put his shoes back on, which he needs, help with. This goes on several times in the next 20 minutes or so. I can't seem to talk him out of it, and he gets upset when I complain. Sometimes he does this with his clothes too, taking his pants off for no reason and then wanting them back on again within a few minutes. I have to turn off whatever I am cooking and help him. How the heck can I get dinner made with this going on?
I know he doesn't remember that he just put on his shoes, etc, but it is frustrating for me.
I guess I don't really expect an answer to this, but I wonder what in the world is it all about?

By Lynnie2 On 2014.04.27 16:55
I was wondering if there was something that you could let him do to help while you are getting dinner. Is it possible for him to set the table or maybe he could fold some napkins into different shapes.
Or maybe there is a movie you could put in the DVD to keep him occupied or some music he likes to listen to.
I don't suppose he can use a computer for game, but if so that would be another idea.
I tried to get my husband to play chess on the computer but he has forgotten how to play and it hard to manipulate the curser. I was thinking of getting out the chess board to refresh his memory.
Anyway, maybe there is another idea you might have to keep your husband busy. Maybe this isn't much help but I am sorry you have to go through this.

I don't know why he would keep taking off his shoes or clothes but keeping him occupied seems the only thing I can think of right now.

By carman96 On 2014.04.27 21:04
Thank you for the suggestions, Lynnie. He is usually watching tv. It's sad because he is so limited in what he can do. His dementia keeps him from really doing much. He can't seem to follow anything through to the end. He gets frustrated also. I keep trying to think of something repetitive or something very simple to keep him occupied. Poor guy, he used to love to tinker on anything with motors. Now he can't even drive.

By parkinit On 2014.04.27 23:37
My husband used to do this to take a nap. He would get all undressed and then 5 minutes later, he would be up and I would have to dress him again. I was told that he is behaving like a child (he has dementia), so I have to treat him like one. You may just have to say "no" to keep from running yourself ragged trying to stay up with his requests and cooking dinner.

I have to say that for awhile, I often would resort to tv dinners as his needs were greater than my need to have a hot meal on the table at a certain time. When you can heat things up, it makes it easier. I have also been known to cook a large pan of lasagna and cutting it into individual servings and freezing. You can do the same with meatloaf using a small loaf pan. we could quickly heat up nutritious meals and still provide him with the attention he needs. (Finger swiping the air) This is one more talent to add to our list as Caregivers, et al! Keep smiling.

By LOHENGR1N On 2014.04.28 00:05
I don't know if this would be of any help keeping Him occupied or not (depending upon functioning levels) maybe getting some index cards and based on what He used to do making a matching (memory) game? Glue two like pictures of things to match. Get some old magazines if he was a fixer upper popular mechanics or sporting one for the fisherman. Home and gardens for the gardener. two of the same month and glue a wrech from each you know. You could pick them up from a Church or neighbors even a salvation army store or goodwill. See if the Church youth would make them gluing them for you or a elementary school or local cub scouts or brownies. They are always looking for project to help in the community. As I said I don't know if it would help or not but it might and I don't know what else to suggest right now. Take care, best of luck and hang in there

By carman96 On 2014.04.28 11:35
Thanks you for the suggestions.

By VioletV On 2014.04.28 12:28
Hi Carman,
Could his feet or legs be hurting him?

Also removing shoes or clothing is a way to change how you feel, and even if he's not in pain, he may be using these old well-learned actions to try to get to be more comfortable in a body that just feels "not-right."

Just a thought.


By umajane On 2014.04.28 20:44
Carman, Just a thought about preparing dinner. If your husband takes naps maybe you could do a lot of prep work while he is sleeping to cut down your cooking time...

By Mary556 On 2014.04.28 23:47
Carman, I'm glad you asked this question since I've been having similar difficulty getting meals to the table on time. (Yesterday I had to give my parents hot dogs for Sunday dinner because the chicken was nowhere near ready.) So I am thankful to read all the helpful ideas from those who are responding to you.
My PWP Mom is not fond of changing clothes but she has other needs that cannot wait for me to finish whatever I was doing. Lately I try to start supper an hour earlier to allow for interruptions. If it is ready too soon then reheat it. Some meals we make a large amount ahead of time and freeze individual portions. We have been stocking up on ready-made frozen dinners when they are on sale and my folks are happy with those once or twice a week. (They really like DiGiorno pizza. and Gorton haddock fillets.)
For something to keep your husband busy, if it would not be too frustrating for him... maybe he could take the pillowcases off and put new ones on? That is a chore my Mom likes to do for me. It keeps her occupied for awhile. Having that gift of extra time really is a great help to me and Mom feels happy being able to do that.

God bless all of our PWPs and caregivers.

By JulieB On 2014.05.01 10:50
I love all the caring comments and loving suggestions found here. I am seeing some of this obsessive behavior in Michael, but directed toward his plates and utensils on the table at a meal. May you have a break today, and I'm praying that this behavior will settle down in your PWP. We understand. xoxo

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