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By JulieB On 2014.05.08 12:36
After three weeks in the small veterans home, Michael has come home. I feel the care and love the vets receive there was beyond my expectations -- I was always pleasantly surprised by the unhurried, attentive, loving care they provide. But after about 2 weeks, Michael began having serious anxiety and even terror at night, and begged me repeatedly to bring him home. During the days he would be great, and my 3x weekly all-day visits were wonderful. But as evening approached he would change, and I wonder if sundowners was the culprit. His dementia came to the forefront then and he said nonsensical things and was never at ease. He kept asking, "How long do I have to stay here? What do I have to do to come home?" and I just couldn't bear it any longer. I had hoped to give it a month before reassessing, but my heart broke to see my previously resilient, never-anxious husband on the edge. He has been home for two nights now, and even though his cares are still the same, for now he is happy and at peace. I am hiring more care, and have no idea about the future, of course, but we will take it a day at a time, and be grateful that Michael is so relieved and happy to be home again. xoxo

By jcoff012 On 2014.05.08 16:26
Bless you and Michael..good luck!

By laylee7 On 2014.05.09 12:26
Hugs to you both.

By Marilyn-NJ On 2014.05.09 16:28
I don't always partake in offering comments to the insightful posts that I read, but I do read them. I'm so sorry for your journey but I've learned a lot from your experience these past few weeks. When you had made the decision to have him leave your home, I, of course, identified and understood that your concerns might take on a different form since you wouldn't be the primary caregiver. I'm not surprised with this outcome. I've decided that I would also keep my spouse at home for the very reasons you brought Michael back. What a hard life we lead. You are must know that!

By parkinit On 2014.05.11 22:28
JulieB -

I'm sorry you had this outcome, however, I did the same thing. After 10 days in a nursing home, I brought my hubby home, too. He continues to quickly decline, but I KNOW he is comfortable and well-cared for always here.

Bless you and may God give you the strength you need to see this through, dear lady!

By carman96 On 2014.05.14 23:28
Julie, I wish you the best. You have had to make some difficult decisions, and you are always doing what is best for your dear husband. Hope you find some peace in knowing he is happier at home with you.

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