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By Michele On 2014.05.24 08:46
Well today we have a family reunion, on my Dads side. My stepmom has gone to her daughters, she's not up to it. Not sure I am either. We've lost several loved ones since last year. It will be difficult for all of us and I'm afraid it will throw my Dad into a depression for the weekend. These "downs" seem to make him think all kinds of things and obsess over things that may or may not be true:( praying for a calm weekend but not really expecting it. And of course it will just be me with him all weekend. Don't get me wrong I love him and respect him it just hurts to see him struggle so much in his own body and mind!

By jcoff012 On 2014.05.24 13:48
When I think of all the times either my Mom or Dad sat by my bed, reading to me because it was summer and I had the croup AGAiN, and it was hot (Ohio, pre-air conditioning), and I longed to go out, but was soothed by listening to good stories, I have to marvel and be grateful for the experience. And, now as my Mom approaches 95 and my husband has PD, I am the family caregiver who is doing her best to help them through their diseases, I have to fall back and attempt to live my life by my parents' and my husband Carl's example. I miss my Dad. I wish I had done more, called him more, told him how proud I was of him...I am trying to daily tell Carl and my Mom those very sentiments, as often as humanly possible. Except for minor spats, I hope that I can be more a help than a hindrance in all of this. Looking back, I cannot imagine what my life would be like without such positive role models. I am grateful and humbled by their love.

All your Dad needs is your love. Be there, open arms. He will know it and appreciate it. Unconditional love is like that. Jane

By Michele On 2014.05.24 16:22
Jane you stated that so beautifully. As I read MY post again I'm ashamed at how self centered I sound. I love my Dad so much and am lucky to have him. I didn't mean to sound reluctant to stay with him or take him places. I would and will do anything he needs me to do.

I am happy to report all went very well today. He was all over the place at the reunion and talking to everybody!! Now we are home and he is exhausted and napping in his recliner.

As I was putting a blanket over him so he wouldn't get chilled he said " Your going to spoil me like I did you when you were a baby" I asked did you spoil me he smiled and said yes!
I told him I guess that's why I'm a Daddy's girl!
He smiled and said probably so!

I hope I can be there for him the way he deserves.

By jcoff012 On 2014.05.24 17:19
Michele, your post was honest and sincere...No one here would ever say they didn't understand your feelings. We all do the best we can.

One thing I have learned from being the family caregiver to many, is that we often anticipate the worst...kinda like you did...the day with your Dad sounds wonderful for him...and wonderful for you to witness...

And, I am surely not alone in this, your touching final moments with him today made me sob a bit...remember this day and that moment in the hard times will help.

As my BIL lay in the hospital, dying from a brain tumor, he kept me close by twirling the ring on my finger *my wedding ring*...when he was in pain, he would reach yet another finger up, as if to hold on...In his final hours, when I told him we would make sure my SIL and the kids would be ok, he stopped for a second, and I knew he heard me. This all happened after he no longer could talk or function...Little, sweet moments that we take with us mean so much...Your Dad is letting you know you are his little girl...isn't that special!

I am so glad for you...and post whatever and whenever you want...say anything you one is here to judge...many times we come here just to connect...but, never to judge...we are, foremost, friends who wish we didn't have to meet here...but are glad we found each other! Hugs, Jane

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