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By jcoff012 On 2014.07.06 22:02
My mother will be 95 in November, if she makes it...she has been in extremely poor health and over the weekend became very bad...she has congestive heart failure. She lives in Cincinnati, we live in California.

What would you do? Any suggestions? There are several problems with me going back now...First, I am being tested for diabetes and am going through my third round of blood tests. I am scheduled for an EKG on Tuesday morning and a colonoscopy a week from Monday. We also watch our grandson Tuesday-Thursday, so Carl says I should go back and he can handle Nigel. He has been having almost daily problems with his meds and we think it is the stress of all these dumb tests I keep having. To say I don't think he should watch him by himself is an understatement...

So, should I go back..or should I wait to hear what the cardiologist says? It is scary having two major caregiving issues, along with my own health issues. She is in an assisted living so it would be airfare, food, hotels, etc. My brother says to wait as there is nothing I can do and this could be one of many episodes...he also doesn't want me to leave Carl alone...

Any advice? Jane

By carman96 On 2014.07.06 22:13
Jane, you know you have to take care of yourself first. So many truly serious things going on in your life right now. I say wait until you find out what's going on with your tests.
I would guess that your mother would understand.
Listen to your brother! Just my 2 cents worth of advice.

By umajane On 2014.07.07 01:38
I agree with Carman. You need to take care of yourself first right now. Luckily you have a brother who can handle things for awhile and then you can decide. You have a lot on your plate. I wish you well.

By Mary556 On 2014.07.07 06:18
Peace be with you, Jane. Prayers for you & yours.
Being a mother, it is likely your Mom would want you to stay put for now... have your tests as scheduled, take care of Carl and Nigel and let them take care of you. You can still call your mother frequently. Just hearing your voice on the phone will comfort her. For now, keeping your familiar routine of phone calls might be more calming than an in-person visit, for both of you. Your brother will keep closely in touch with you.

By dans316 On 2014.07.07 09:36

The others have given you good advice. I would concur:)

Me Ke Aloha
Dan & June

By parkinit On 2014.07.07 10:02
Jane -

You are where you are needed right now and where you can take care of YOU. It sounds like your brother is on top of things and is handling for now. Take a deep breath, finish your own testing and be there for Carl. :) My hat is thrown in with all the rest!

By jcoff012 On 2014.07.07 11:26
Thank you, My Friends...I am going to wait, stay in touch through phone calls, and pray for her. She has had a gloriously long life, but it seems *we* never are ready for the end of life, are we?

It is amazing how we find solace within our online community. Thank you all for responding. I value your suggestions and am touched by your understanding and concern. No one else would understand how difficult life can be when living with a PWP and simultaneously dealing with other familial and other health issues.

Again, thank you all...Life certainly changes rapidly from one day to the next... Hugs and love, Jane

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