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Topic Getting away for the night... Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jcoff012 On 2014.07.29 14:14
My birthday was Saturday, but we had it with Amy, Eric, and Nigel, so it cut short a long weekend we had planned...Good thing, too...

We left our area and drove to the ocean, which is a two hour drive to Ft. Bragg, CA. In years past, and even several months ago, we would drive there, have a lunch by the ocean, then visit the little shops, candy stores, botanical gardens, then check in, go out to dinner by the ocean, and the next day would be more antiquing, etc...

But, this time, it was a quiet, VERY subdued oceanside night...everything was restrained...no shopping, no antiquing, and we ate dinner in our room...granted, we had a spectacular view, but we were supposed to be having a celebratory dinner out! He was asleep by nine and slept til 9:15 the following morning, after that, we ate at 11:15 and drove home.

NOT the "normal" way we celebrate...no drink, fancy shared dessert...I am glad we went, and not really complaining, but PD surely DOES make subtle changes to our normalcy, doesn't it? I spent what was supposed to be my birthday with him, by sitting alone in the hotel watching tv while he was sound asleep!

It is times like these that PD is the Beast which defines our lives...Just when we think we can handle things, PD throws a wrench into things. PD has a way of bringing harsh reality to us and it stinks. As I sat there watching him sleep, I had to console myself knowing how peacefully he was sleeping and when I woke up the next morning, I realized his slumber was sound and hard...that was worth that short trip. But, it also stinks to have been alone when I really wasn't..Or, is it LONELY, not alone?

Today, he is working on the irrigation system to find a leak! Go figure....Remember, we are all in this together...no one gets through this without similar experiences...sadly...Jane

By umajane On 2014.07.29 21:26
First of all a very happy birthday to you!!!
This is all so difficult. I find that being away from our home is so difficult for our PWP. I just returned from being away for 4 days at the beach with my family for a family reunion/birthday celebration for me.
My husband slept, slept and slept. Everything was super difficult even though we rented a beautiful home right on the beach. He needed so much help, had difficulty in the bathroom etc. etc.
We are home now and he seems to be so much better, happy to be on his chair with the TV and our dog by his feet. We were unable to take our dog.
So things are not the same but at least we got to go away. We have to lower our expectations.....but who wants to do that. My grown sons were awesome helping us unload the car when we arrived and another drove to our home to help me at the return end.
Such awesome men....they were shocked by the slowness, sleepiness and all that goes with their mom being a caregiver. It sure opened their eyes. Again I do hope you enjoyed part of your trip to the coast

By mylove On 2014.07.30 00:30
It is lonely. We are prepping for a long getaway wrapped into a work trip for me next week. Or should I say we were. Yesterday he was talking side trips and romantic jaunts. Today he's decided he can't go with me at all and I'll have to go alone. It's just a "PD Day". He napped hard for two hours, got up, ran the mower around (it's a rider), ate dinner and went back to bed at 6:30. He's crashed out hard. I know tomorrow he will probably be back up to fill speed, but there's validity in his feelings.

I'm in the pickle of not knowing what to do. On one hand, he can visit his daughter, who lives near Portland, where my class is. On the other hand, it's five days away from home, which is terribly hard. And he would have to entertain himself the better part of every day while I'm in class. I know it's best for him if he stays. But he and I will both be terribly lonely.

To be honest, Jane...I'm terribly lonely in the house sometimes as it is. You touched on that feeling. I wouldn't change a thing, and the good days are still worth the bad, but the loneliness is there. Interests and hobbies, friends and jobs and family....nothing takes the place of him. It's a big hole to try to fill.

By JulieB On 2014.07.30 19:08
Jane,

I well remember how our weekend getaways for our anniversary began to change after PD. Your account of Carl sleeping brought back memories of that for us -- over the years it went from hiking to walking, from shopping to just visiting a restaurant, and eventually to lots of resting and sleeping in the cabin or hotel. It was still nice to get away (our favorites were Grand Marais, MN and Bayfield, WI) but I could see the changes year by year.

I grew up in California so am familiar with your part of the state. So lovely there!

Your wonderful attitude will be a constant blessing to Carl as the years march on.

Happy belated birthday to you, Jane! xoxo


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