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Topic anger management, insomnia Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By Mary556 On 2014.07.30 04:58
Yesterday I screamed into a pillow, three times. It seemed to help.
I'm thankful for people here who have suggested that strategy from time to time.

Just wondering, what are your other constructive ways to blow off steam?
Yesterday my Dad held my hand and talked me down. I prayed. I drank a mug of hot water to try to keep my lungs from getting tighter. I prayed some more. A kind, supportive friend called out-of-the-blue and her words were calming. (Thank God for kind, supportive friends.)

The other side of this coin is insomnia. I'm not hopping mad any more, but my mind is racing, going over the same thing over and over. I'm awake in the middle of the night, too wound up to sleep, then feel exhausted the next day. My sister recently advised me to write down anything that is upsetting me, to try to release the problem and not keep dwelling on it.

God bless all of our PWP's and caregivers.

By jaxrock On 2014.07.30 06:57
Oh boy, do I relate!!
It's tough, no doubt about it...
I screamed a bit myself yesterday...but not in a pillow....I just let loose..
What a path we're all on......
Let's hope today is a good one!

By Mary556 On 2014.07.30 23:22
jaxrock, I have been thinking of you and your husband & hope each day gets easier for you.
My previous screams (one a few months ago, one a couple years ago) were more unexpected and without a pillow. Somehow this time it felt more controlled because I was choosing when and how to scream. plus I could scream louder without upsetting anyone.
best wishes and prayers for you.

By jaxrock On 2014.07.31 08:16
thank you, Mary
Since my husband has been home from rehab - almost 3 weeks now - I notice myself watching him "like a hawk".....trying not to,'s not good for either of us.
trying to get back into our normal lives, whatever that may be at this time....
I guess I'm waiting for the next incident or crisis.....
and also trying to be my upbeat, happy self at the same time...
Difficult, but I'm trying...
Good luck to you too.....and thank you for the prayers......sending them to you as well....

By HangingOn On 2014.07.31 10:08
I also understand. Sometimes upset over his responses, other times Parkinson's Disease and always finances.
I go for walks to get it together. Sometimes just putting on my headsets and listening to music in another room helps.
Thank you all for letting me know we are not alone.

By Mary556 On 2014.07.31 23:45
jaxrock, I'm grateful for your prayers. You are blazing a trail that I hope to be on soon. My Mom has been in the Rehab facility about a month now. I wonder if she will settle into her usual routines when she comes back to us, or will there be new challenges? Will we continue to cry and grieve or will happier selves suddenly reappear? Yes, there certainly are a lot of unknowns. We will do our best and take one day at a time.

My PWP's home health aide (who comes to give her bath) taught me how to be a "stealth" hawk... we stand out of sight of my mother as she's getting ready but peek at her from around the corner. Every once in a while Cindy asks in a loud voice, "How are you doing?"... as if she didn't know. If my mother gets really stuck, she will assist. After Mom's fall last January we were instructed that someone needs to walk behind her whenever she is moving around. I'm sure she would rather not have me shadow her 24/7, but she has learned to accept it.

HangingOn, thanks so much for your suggestions. I had forgotten to listen to my soothing music this time. Now I will remember should this happen again. Aerobic exercise, too. It is good to have an arsenal.
I hope there will be relief for you as well. Best wishes and prayers for you and your PWP.

By moonswife On 2014.08.01 05:28
No laughing fellow PWP caregivers. I get in the shower and play the song "I am woman hear me roar" really really loudly. And sing in my miserable voice at the top of my lungs. It has been so hot in SoCal you can take 6 songs (er...showers) a day and no one suspects a thing.

By HangingOn On 2014.08.01 09:33
I do claim "spa day" every now and then. Not going anywhere, but soaking in the tub, facial, manicure, whatever I choose. But calling it that makes me feel like I am pampering myself.

By carman96 On 2014.08.02 12:00
I haven't tried the screaming thing yet. I just don't think to do it when I have the chance. Probably I'm so happy to get away from my husband for a few minutes I forget about being mad.
I have insomnia also. I have been taking lorazepam but I usually wake up very early so I read books on my Kindle. If I don't read then I am just worrying and thinking too much. Either way I am exhausted most of the time.
I would love a spa day but barely have time to take a shower sometimes without getting interrupted.

By Mary556 On 2014.08.05 23:11
Thanks, everyone. Your suggestions are very helpful. I will try to use more of these pro-active strategies and hopefully not need to scream again any time soon. Yes, I had forgotten how therapeutic singing has been for me in the past. (moonswife, you are funny. thanks for making me laugh! I have a lousy singing voice myself, but love to sing.) So I waited until my Dad left the house, relocated a few of my favorite healing songs and sang my heart out. Then I dremeled some decrepid toenails. (my version of "spa"... thanks for that idea, HangingOn!)

Carman, thank you, too. I will remember to try reading next time I am awake too soon. One morning this week I got up to do some housework at 5:30 AM, thinking I might as well be productive if I could not sleep. My Dad got up shortly after that to use the bathroom, saw my lamp and computer on in the living room and thought they were from the night before. He thought I must have fallen hours earlier and never went to bed. (I was just in the kitchen cooking oatmeal but never stopped to think how that would appear.) My poor father started to panic and then he could not go back to sleep either. Next time I will read a book (Patrick O'Brian). I haven't been taking a shower the past few months in order to hear my Mom's motion sensor chime if she needs me. It finally occurred to me to use the kitchen sink sprayer attachment to wash my hair. It works quite nicely! Sorry I am chattering so much tonight. When I get my Mom back I will be more quiet.

God bless all PWPs and caregivers.

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