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Topic Do you have a POLST,or DNR for your PWP? Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By carman96 On 2014.09.17 22:52
We finally went to a lawyer to get a trust and power of attorney, and advanced directives. She advised me to get the physician order life sustaining treatment form from his doctor. It kind of freaked me out to read it. Today my husband had a doctor appointment. I went over the form with the Dr. My first thought was not to have a DNR. The Dr told me that if something happened bad enough to make him stop breathing, and if they resuscitate him he would never recover but would decline. The reality of it really slapped me in the face.
Such a cruel disease.

By jaxrock On 2014.09.18 08:59
You must have been reading my mind....
I've been putting off signing the DNR given to me by our new health advisors...
But, after some time to think about it, I have no qualms about signing it...
In fact, it's on my desk -
I totally agree...if he were bad enough to need CPR, and it couldn't be much worse than some of his days now, I know that he's suffered enough. He loves life, he loves people, but, he's in such distress most of the time...
Whew............I'm exhausted just thinking about it....
But, I will sign the DNR!!

By Freespirit On 2014.09.18 10:14
Carman, yes we do have a DNR. My husband was in the hospital back in May with pneumonia and a bowel obstruction and things did not look good. We had discussed all of these end of life issues several times prior, and he had made it clear to me that he did not want any type of resuscitation, intubation, PEG tube, etc I agreed; however, at that moment in the ER when I was asked to sign the DNR form, I waivered. . . I was NOT as strong as I thought I would be in carrying out my Beloved's wishes. I told the doc to ask my husband what his wishes were and he straight up told them DNR!!!!
This surprised me that I waivered in one sense, but it also taught me a lesson. I definately WANT to carry out my Beloved's wishes. . . so after he "recovered" and came home, we had the official DNR paperwork signed by his doc and him. Now, I don't have to make that decision myself ever again as it has already been made by my husband.

By ResistanceFutil On 2014.09.18 11:43
We don't have the DNR yet and I don't know my husband's opinion at this time. We do have our medical POAs that prevent intubation, feeding tubes, etc.

My husband, a physician, has often remarked that any one who needs resuscitation rarely has a good outcome. I've read elsewhere that a very low percentage of people survive longer than 10 days if CPR is needed. I'm sure this depends much on the health of the person being resuscitated, but for us older folks it often does not turn out as seen in the movies or on tV.

Joan River's may be a case in point - an older, healthy lady who required resuscitation. During a medical procedure. She lived on life support several days and then required what I would presume to be a difficult decision. For her daughter to remove life support. A similar situation occurred with my aunt - it was heartbreaking to see her in intensive care for a week being poked and prodded - I can only hope she was not conscious after her resuscitation.

As a former member on a hospice board, the real difficulty may be in getting a DNR complied with. My aunt, a decade-long sufferer of Alzheimer's, had the paper work in place but not on hand when a maid called EMS.

Other stories like this from the hospice board - the terminal, at peace cancer patient having to be resuscitated in front of his shocked wife - both parties wanted a peaceful death, not the violence of CPR performed by professionals, who had been called by a Good Samaritan when he collapsed.

So, if you have an out--of-hospital DNR, keep it handy and make sure all medical caregivers are informed.

By jaxrock On 2014.09.18 11:43
Freespirit, that's exactly why I now will sign the DNR.
My husband's most recent hospitalization and weeks in rehab were pretty intense.
He says he doesn't ever want to go through that again..
And I agree...I never want to see him worse than he was then.
So, he made my mind up for me.
It's still hard, though, but necessary.

By Freespirit On 2014.09.18 14:43
So, so true, Resistance regarding the DNR's not being honored!

For those interested in this subject I recommend, "In The Midst Of Life" by Jennifer Worth. She was a hospice nurse and speaks to many end of life issues, including the subject of CPR disasters, and DNR's not being honored.

This book REALLY opened my eyes. . .

By Witsend On 2014.09.20 03:31
I filled out a new POLST form when signing my husband up for the Memory Care facility. I liked that next to the acronym DNR they put "A.N.D. (Allow Natural Death)". I thought that was a gentler way to put it.

By jaxrock On 2014.09.20 08:22
Yesterday, I signed the DNR form while the nurse practitioner was here attending to my husband.
Even though I know it's the only way to go, for some reason, I'm having a very tearful morning........Luckily,my husband is still asleep.
upward and onward....and one foot in front of the other, right?

By ResistanceFutil On 2014.09.20 09:10
Jaxrock - my sincerest wishes for you and your husband to have many, many more peaceful and fulfilling days together.

And I like the acronym A.N.D. - I hope that we see A.N.D. more and more and that we can experience it for ourselves and our loved ones when the time comes.

By jaxrock On 2014.09.23 08:50
thank you Resistance for your kind words.....
and to everyone for your thoughts and ideas on this very difficult topic

By moonswife On 2014.09.23 11:16
Always have a copy of your DNR in your "Aware in Care Kit" so you can post it above bed if necessary. I put a couple of bandaids in to afix to wall....just in case. Telling the staff "it is on file" means no one sees it when it is needed....just when someone wants to pull the file. And I applaud the acronym A.N.D. Hug to you in this stressful, trying week, dear.

By jaxrock On 2014.09.23 13:22
Thank you
My husband is doing much better...and I feel more "protected" now that I signed that piece of paper.
We can now go on with our lives as best we can....
No complaints....


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