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Topic POA or conservatorship? Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By carman96 On 2014.10.02 21:43
Saw the attorney today and she said we might have to petition the court for a conservatorship for my husband. Very depressing. I waited way too long to get a POA.
If anyone is thinking of getting a POA do it now! So much easier when they can still communicate.
Spent the rest of the day chasing him around trying to keep him safe. Pretty exhausting when I have to chase his scooter. He keeps going places he shouldn't and getting stuck in the gravel. At least be didn't tip it over although he did do a wheelie which I didn't think was possible on a mobility scooter.
I cried a lot this afternoon. Last night he was mumbling to the chair and he thought I was sitting in it. Too bad he can't talk to me when I'm really there.
Sad.

By jcoff012 On 2014.10.02 22:43
Oh, Carman, my heart hurts for you. I wish we lived closer. Carl and I did all the paperwork before my first cancer surgery, so we are set. Thank you for such a vivid reminder that PD dictates all we do, and we all must be prepared.

As always, we are almost always here, if you need us...anytime, any day...

If you need to cry, do it...let it out...You are a strong, kind woman who is facing a time of decisions and losses that none of us wants to happen...but, happen it will...I wish for you both peace and love...and keep posting...we are all listening...love and hugs always, Jane

By carman96 On 2014.10.02 23:08
Thanks Jane. Don't know why I can't stop crying. I just really miss being able to have a conversation with my husband that makes sense.
I had to name my son to make medical decisions for me. Of course my husband wouldn't be able to.
So many things to worry about.
Hopefully I will get some sleep tonight and feel better tomorrow. Too many things to do to sit around crying!

By LC On 2014.10.03 13:36
I just went though the same thing with my husband. I talked to an attorney and she said I should change all my legal documents to name my daughters as my POA, Health care proxy, etc. Also added their names to my bank accounts, 401k, etc. It was quite a lot of work but at least I have piece of mind that they will speak for me and take care of their Dad if I am unable to. I too cry almost every day wishing I had my husband and best friend back.

By carman96 On 2014.10.04 10:16
I just wanted to do a simple trust to make it easier for the kids. Our lawyer wants to make sure a POA isn't challenged. I know my husband wants me to take care of our finance like I always have. But I want everything to be legal so I guess we have to go through the process. It just sucks is all.
I am assuming that my husband will die before me since he is five years older and has PD.
But we never really know so its best to be prepared.

By moonswife On 2014.10.04 17:49
Carmen, you made me laugh out loud when you posted about the wheelie. If we did not laugh once in a while we would all be crying like you are today. We did the POA before the DBS because after all it IS BRAIN SURGERY. We have similar highs and lows. This week it is the 100 degree temps that are keeping him indoors, and bored. I drug out a jigsaw puzzle. OCD kicked in and he sat and worked it 7 hours straight. I had to take his dinner to the dining room table where I put the lazy susan with the puzzle on it. He ate with one hand and puzzled with the other. And then asked for a popsicle, because it takes no spoon. Both hands are free to work the puzzle!. Gotta love em.

By dans316 On 2014.10.08 16:47
On a related note to this thread, just spent most of Tuesday morning at a nearby cemetery buying lots for my wife and myself, also included grave sites for my two sons and one son's wife, other one is not married and neither one has children. Boy is that expensive!!! Wound up spending over $7000 and that did not include caskets, only tombstone(mine was covered by VA) and vaults which are required in Pa and 6 graves. June and I made wills, POAs etc in 2011 when I wound up in the hospital, it kind of scared me into action. Slowly we are getting prepared for the final chapter of our lives. As noted in previous replies, these things should be done while both have the mental capacity to comprehend what is being done. Also as in June's case, she can no longer sign her name, not only is her handwriting almost illegible, she is unable to sign on a line or anywhere close.

Carman,
My dad always thought he would outlive my mom as she had diabetes and was 4 years older. Wasn't to be as he was diagnosed with bile duct cancer in 1996 and died 2 months later at the age of 87, Mom lived 3 years after his death until March of 2000 and was 95. As is often said, one never knows.

By jcoff012 On 2014.10.08 18:10
Dan, both sets of our parents planned ahead, but not to the extent you did...they prepaid all funeral costs, including the casket spray, etc...but, they did it for themselves...Our families are scattered across the country and we will most likely be buried in separate states...We were dumb, and poor thirty years ago when we buried our daughter, so the plots next to her are gone, of course.

As you said, one never knows...while I say everything is paid for, and I doubt my brother has even thought about this, my Mom and Dad have one headstone, and her side has her name and her date of passing as 19-- so, we will need to have it polished out, or a new headstone carved! At 95, Mom is still around!

Hugs to you both. Jane


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