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Topic Change in reservations... Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jcoff012 On 2014.11.12 17:05
Well, this is one for the least in our lives.

We don't watch Nigel on Wednesdays, so it is our day to do laundry, errands, relax...whatever..So, I was downstairs, reading on my iPad, and didn't realize for awhile that Carl was upstairs on the computer...He was, then he was on the phone...?????

After about an hour and a half, he came downstairs and said, "I changed our reservations for Saturday. I upgraded us to first class in case we are stuck in Chicago...they will put us in a special lounge, etc..." I said, "At this late date? There has to be more to this..." There was...

When he made the initial reservations, he didn't select seats, and even though I kept asking him this last month, he didn't get around to it til this morning...all that was left on the plane were middle seats! He said, "I wouldn't be comfortable sitting in the middle next to two strangers with my tremors...I think it would cause me too much stress, not being able to sit with you..." So, for a much greater price, we are now flying first class round trip!

This is one of the quirks of his bout with PD...he still wants to make all the plans and generally, he does well...But, in order to correct a mistake, that mistake is often costly. I have learned to just let it go...Who doesn't like flying first class? And, as far as traveling such a long distance in really bad weather, it may turn out the best...we spent 7 hours sitting in O'Hare one November when my Mom had a heart attack...NO fun!...But, Carl's PD brain telling him to wait, makes it difficult to handle at times like this...I know, let it go...Just seems like a waste of money just to make up for a of many, I see in our future....

OK, I vented...I will go and enjoy the trip, enjoy nice accommodations, and let it go...I just hope this need to be in charge and to be in control passes quickly...I will blame it on the Requip, although I think it is just simply PD rearing its head and making him forgetful and wanting to be in control, whatever the cost!

By umajane On 2014.11.12 20:31
Oh my Jane that is so typical. I have to be on top of EVERYTHING to make sure it is taken care of properly. I am so tired of doing it all.....Enjoy the flight and the deserve it and have fun.

By mylove On 2014.11.12 23:18
Oh jeez,'s happening to you, too. Same here. There have been more and more of these incidents. The really frustrating part is that they're interspersed by such sharpness, such normalcy... He's still the brilliant man I know most of the time. I'm having a really hard time getting accustomed to the odd lapses.

We are trying to save money, so we are trying not to eat out often. Because I still work, in order to eat at a normal hour it's best if he takes out the dinner meat from the freezer. He is adamant that I should leave this task to him, but more often than not it's forgotten until it's too late. Even with a list, even with a reminder, even when I text an hour before I get home. It's just...odd. Is it forgetting, or is it simply procrastinating thinking he will get back to it until it's too late and he becomes too tired? I wish I knew.

By carman96 On 2014.11.13 10:11
Jane, go and have fun. Next time maybe he will let you check the reservations he's made?
I have always taken care of any plans, so there's no chance of him messing things up. Just in his mind are things messed up!
I've always done everything anyhow. Financial and any kind of planning or paperwork.
I know some people don't like defrosting in the microwave, but it works for me if I forget to take meat out soon enough.
At least your husbands still do things. Mine is incapable of planning or following through on anything.

By jcoff012 On 2014.11.13 13:03
Sweet Carman, as I was posting, it occured to me that soon I would be glad he even tries, and I almost didn't post! Then, it came to me: this may be a normal progression and might help others to understand that even this man who used to manage multi million dollar projects and plan work schedules for hundreds of jobs was failing...and it IS hard to accept...

It also came to me to voice what is happening so that perhaps others can be better prepared for the frustration of dealing with a formerly strong willed, sharp man who is making costly mistakes. And, lastly, to let others know they aren't alone on this PD journey.

Michelle, I agree...use the defrost on the microwave...or, and I know this is simplistic...make lasagne or a one pot stew or chili that only requires reheating most for us...Also, we eat our big meal at lunch...makes dinners simple,,,soup or a sandwich...might give it a try...

Thank you, Dear Friends, for understanding the frustration level...doesn't happen often, yet, but portends our future, I know...Hugs.,

By carman96 On 2014.11.13 14:13
Yes our PWP are all at different stages. We really have no way of knowing what is next. I guess we just need to appreciate what they can still do.

By VioletV On 2014.11.13 15:35
My love,
You may conclude that this posting has wandered over from a homemaking website -- but I recently learned this amazing trick for quick defrosting (works with fish, meat, anything sort of flat).

Take the meat and put it on the bottom of a big pot turned upside down. Then fill a another big pot like a dutch oven with water and put it on the meat. Just rest it on top of the flat piece of meat. For reasons that a physicist can probably explain, it will defrost quite quickly.


By mylove On 2014.11.13 20:36
I concur. It's just one of those things that gives you a glimpse into tomorrow, and it's sad. I am so very thankful Ben is still able to do most things. Today he worked out detains of a loan, got all the supporting documentation taken care of, and coordinated things with the bank. Some days he's too tired to remember his pills. It's the unpredictability that throws me.

Violet....I'm flabbergasted! I HAVE to try that trick. Thank you! My microwave gets a workout most nights, but it would be cool if this could do it without the overdone round the edges/frozen in the center thing that the mic does.

Btw....I'm less upset about the dinner thing than sad that his intentions are pure and that his body fails him, as it's begun to do more often.

By Marilyn-NJ On 2014.11.14 13:21
The realization that as times goes on, the Parkinson's person can become less and less competent which includes the little things and the bigger things that was their expertise in the past. So we take on more and more and in time that bundle on our shoulders gets heavier and heavier. Harder than the burden are the thoughts of what used to be and what should at least be still a part of his/her being. Sad.

By lurkingforacure On 2014.11.15 10:37
Someone mentioned procrastination and we have that, too, although I can't say that it is solely because of the PD-he always put off things he didn't want to do (but don't we all!).

But now with PD, I think what happens is that that this trait is exacerbated by the fear that the task may take longer and/or be harder. It is a fear of being reminded, yet again, of PD's presence in his life. I totally get it, but it is still hard.

And I really miss my mom, too:)

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