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Topic Saddened by PD Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By daisy On 2015.03.02 15:30
Well. I have hesitated for a long time before posting this and I guess it's because putting it into words is an admission that we have finally given in to the control this unwanted guest has our lives and it saddens me deeply..

Dh turned 55 last week. We should still be enjoying the best times in our lives. Full careers, a nice home, good social life, holidays, young family. Instead, we have had to give up everything, little by little. This insidious disease has stolen our lives away bit by bit. We have had to close our business, DH has been unable to work for many years and now needs my full time care. Losing our home is inevitable at some future point.

Everything we worked for: a warm loving and secure home for our family has been ripped away.

But it isn't only the loss of all those material things, despite their importance that gets to me most. It's the loss of hope for the future..

I used to look at younger couples and wish that we could be the same, but I'd shake it off and knuckle down to the task in hand. Yes we had PD to contend with but we could overcome it and make do. Now, DH has major..major cognitive problems which spills into every aspect of our lives. At 46 I find myself looking at older couples, even some of the darling people on this forum and envying their lovely memories, the lives they've shared, their adventures, their joy in their grandkids.. and I feel so mean.. so petty..

No. I don't really envy your precious times. I just feel the loss that our future won't hold those shared joys. I just don't know what our future will hold?

By Trusting On 2015.03.02 20:56
Daisy, I'm sure most of us here feel your pain. I'm usually a pretty upbeat, glass half full kind of person but now I've fallen victim to this disease too. We weren't as young as you when my husband was diagnosed but we owned/operated a business. I found he could only work limited hour before being wiped out. I had to retire before I wanted to so I could become the caregiver for him.
Now I feel robbed of being able to travel, do the things we dreamed of once we had time. Now time seems to be the only thing we have.
You are not mean, you are human. You have been robbed of so much. I can't imagine facing losing my home during such a trying time. Struggling to make ends meet shouldn't have to be another one of the things we have to fight. Daisy, we are here for you and all of us have vented, screamed and cried from time to time on this forum. I don't think there is anyone who judges .......we've all been there. We all have bad days. Blessings and hugs to you.

By carman96 On 2015.03.03 04:54
Daisy, I understand what you mean. You are young still. I am 63 and feel I still have lots of life left to live. My husband is 67. People our age (and much older) are enjoying their retirement, traveling, doing fun things as a couple and despite some ailments are in general living a normal life.
My husband has dementia also. It is so difficult to see the man you love fade before your eyes. It's nearly impossible to have a conversation. And we spouses are left to make all the decisions, including medical and financial. As the disease progresses, it gets harder and harder to have any optimism about the future.
I don't have any words of wisdom on how to cope with all this. I just keep going on day by day. Just know that you are not alone.

By mylove On 2015.03.03 09:31
Daisy, your husband must have young onset. How long has it been?

I'm 46 and my husband is 58. Let's talk.

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