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Topic Putting things in perspective Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jcoff012 On 2015.04.06 14:03
Since the death of my Mom, I have been thinking a lot about the future and what it holds. After many long discussions with family, my husband with Parkinson's, and solitary moments, I have come to a conclusion that might be of interest to other caregivers and PWP....

First, we all live only an infinite number of days, so it is up to us all to make the most of them. We need to daily tell our loved ones that we love them and are glad they are part o our lives. (In the last four months of her life, I called Mom two or three times a day and always told her that I loved her.) So, to this end, I think it might be wise to make it a loving habit to do the same with our PWP....Tell him or her daily and as much as possible how they are loved and we are glad they are in our lives...if we don't already.

Next, learn patience. This is my biggest hurdle...I have none...But, the other day, I found myself lashing out for no good reason (blood sugar too low?) But he just stared and made no comment...Can't I allow him the same courtesy?...I need to not have hurt feelings when meds run down, or lack of sleep causes touchiness, or if simple frustration kicks in...I am working on this...I have decided that I will YEARN for ANY interaction soon, so I want to value this time and try to be more understanding.

Then, to my main reason for posting...As many of you know, we have had a great many family health issues and deaths in the last decade...mostly in the last seven years...My husband has been by my side through them all. After my second cancer surgery he slept in a chair so that if I need to go to the bathroom he was there to help me, even cleaning me up...I decided that I need to honor that commitment with the same grace and commitment as he showed me. If he can do it without complaint, so should I. I am certain he would rather have spent the night in the hotel in a soft bed than curled up in an uncomfortable chair...

So, please permit me this writing...It is sincerely meant. I want to be able to live out the time we have in peace, not angry over details of coping with this awful disease....

Do I think this will be simple? No. Do I see no future troubles dealing with Parkinson's? No. But, for my own health and the health and well being of my PWP, it is important that I try.

Hugs to you all as we go down this path on a journey we wish had not brought us together...Much love to all, Jane

By dans316 On 2015.04.06 17:18

I certainly agree with what you have said except for the statement that Carl would have rather spent the night in a motel rather than curled up in a chair. In 2010 when June broke her hip on a cruise, I spent 3 nights sleeping in the ship's infirmary in a chair beside her bed. Then when she was transferred to the hospital in St Thomas, I spent the first night sleeping in a lounge. No way did I want to be separated from her. When her room mate at the hospital was discharged and the bed was empty, the nurses allowed me to sleep there for our last night there.

Me Ke Aloha

By umajane On 2015.04.07 14:25
Jane, Such wonderful words of wisdom...yet simple..LOVE and PATIENCE..I will be more mindful and start immediately. Thank you.

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